The next morning Miriam brought me water for washing, but I could see she was concerned when she entered the room, glancing at me furtively.
“Are you well, my lady?” she asked.
Was she worried Kai had brutalized me last night?
“Yes,” I answered. “Perfectly well.”
I didn’t bother to elaborate. I didn’t wish to share that my new husband had walked out the door only moments after he’d entered.
She pulled the yellow muslin gown from a chest.
“No,” I said. “I’ll wear my old blue wool. It’s warmer.”
It was a simple gown of blue-gray that had been washed too many times, but it was soft and fit me well. Kai couldn’t care less how I was dressed or what I looked like, so why shouldn’t I give myself this one comfort?
Once dressed, I had Miriam weave my hair into its usual thick braid and I pushed the new shorter strands behind my ears. I felt more like myself.
“I’m going down,” I told Miriam. “Would you sort through the chests and put my gowns in the wardrobe?”
“Of course, my lady.”
I left the room, headed down the passage, and then down the curving stairs of the tower. If Kai wouldn’t treat me as his wife, my only task here was to try and put the aging keep in order. If I was to maintain any kind of value to the Volodanes, I couldn’t make a mistake. I had to be successful, and yet I wasn’t sure of my own power here. It seemed wise to attempt to neither understep nor overstep my bounds, and this would be a thin line to walk.
I decided to begin in the filthy main hall.
The first things I saw upon entering were Sebastian and Kai, standing by the table, eating the rest of the cheese from the previous night. The pack of spaniels wriggled at their feet.
Sebastian took in the sight of me and frowned in open disapproval. “Good gods, what are you wearing?”
I ignored the question.
Kai watched me walk in, but I had no idea what he was thinking. As always, he simply struck me as angry. He took a long drink of ale.
“Is that your breakfast?” I asked him.
He shrugged. “It’ll do.”
The last thing I wanted to do was disagree with him. At least he’d spoken to me. That was something.
The two women who’d brought this food the night before now came in seeking to gather the trays. Betty was short and plump. The other woman was tall and spindly. They both looked at my dress and hair in some confusion. I suddenly realized that I hardly appeared as the lady of the house.
“This is Matilda . . . my lady,” Betty explained, motioning to her companion.
I nodded. “I would like this hall swept out, and I want the floor scrubbed. Then I’d like all the cobwebs swept down and the walls prepared for tapestries.”
“My lady?” Betty asked, as if she hadn’t heard me correctly.
I wavered. Was I allowed to give such orders? No one had explained the extent of my role here, and Kai’s treatment had left me walking on eggshells.
Sebastian’s face brightened. “Tapestries?”
“Yes. Mother sent four tapestries from storage in the manor.”
Kai said nothing, but Sebastian turned to Betty and Matilda. “You heard your new lady.”
At his urging, they sprang into action.
With the cleaning of the hall underway, I looked again at the remnants of breakfast and sighed. “I suppose I had better go and sort out the kitchen.”
Sebastian stepped closer. “Shall I come with you? I fear the women in the kitchen are not as biddable as Betty and Matilda.”
With all my heart, I wanted to jump at his offer. The thought of Sebastian’s support was beyond tempting. But Kai was still watching me carefully. He seemed to be laboring under the impression that I despised him and everyone and everything here. Nothing I did or said would apparently dissuade him of this belief. I somehow had to show him that I considered this place my home, and that I would do my best here.
How could this be accomplished?
For now, I simply had to be sure to make no serious mistakes—that might anger Jarrod—while I figured out how to make some sort of peace with Kai. Once that happened, I hoped he would support me . . . that he would be on my side.
Though this seemed a dim hope, there was little choice but to press onward.
“Thank you,” I told Sebastian. “I can speak to the cooks myself.”
He shrugged.
Turning, I left the main hall and asked Betty directions to the kitchen. She was helpful enough and pointed down a passage leading west.
As I reached the end of the passage, I walked through the open archway into the kitchen, and there I found three women among the ovens and pots and pans. The eldest was quietly kneading bread on a table.
The other two women were barely past twenty, and they sat at a smaller, second table laughing and chatting with each other over mugs of steaming tea and plates of scrambled eggs with strawberries on the side.
The woman making bread saw me first and froze. Then the other two looked up. One of them was strikingly pretty with black hair, pale skin, and a smatter of freckles. The other one was somewhat stocky with reddish hair.
The pretty one nearly sneered at me as she took in my dress. The mild regret I’d felt upon greeting Betty and Matilda was nothing in comparison to what I felt now. I should have donned my yellow muslin gown and had Miriam pile up my hair.
“What do you want?” the pretty girl asked rudely.
“Lavonia!” the older woman gasped. “And Cora. This must be your new lady.”
Lavonia’s manner made me anxious. I was being tested. My mother would have dismissed the girl on the spot, but I was uncertain. Again, what were the breadth and limits of my power?
Instead of calling her on impertinent manner, I turned to the gentle elder woman making bread.
“What is your name?”
“Ester, my lady.”
I nodded. “Ester, will that bread you’re making be baked by midday?”
“Yes, my lady.”
I spoke only to her. “When it’s baked, could you please prepare trays with slices of fresh bread with butter, bowls of strawberries, boiled eggs, and several pots of tea? I’d like this carried up to the hall for any of the men who come in to eat.”
“Yes, my lady.”
“If they want anything, they’ll send for it,” Lavonia said.
I ignored her and continued speaking to Ester. “If there is ham in the larder for dinner tonight, I’d like you to serve ham with whatever vegetables are available. I’ll have decanters sent in, and I’d like two decanters of red wine drawn from the casks.” I paused. “I’ll send Betty and Matilda right at dusk this evening.”
“Yes, my lady.”
I finally looked at Lavonia. “I trust you will be of help with this if you wish to keep your place in this house.”
“Is that a threat?” Her face twisted with anger. “Lord Jarrod will hear of this!”
My stomach clenched, but I only nodded to her once as I swept from the room.
By evening, I took a short break from my work to run upstairs and let Miriam lace me into a silk gown and pile up my hair. I wore the diamond pendant.