Then he turned on his heel and walked out of my office, whistling under his breath. Hot anger bubbled inside of my chest and for a moment, I thought about running after him, attacking him, and kicking him to the ground. The thought of it was so satisfying that I could practically taste it. But as I watched him disappear down the hall, the reality of the situation sank in. It wouldn’t be worth it. I’d be fired, and I’d have shown James just how much I really did care about him.
And there were no circumstances on this earth that could have made me do such a thing.
***
When I got home that night, I went straight into the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the fridge. It was freezing cold in my hand, just like the weather outside, but I didn’t care. Normally, I never drank beer in the winter…but today had been a special, frustrating circumstance.
“Hey,” Danielle said. She loped into the kitchen and leaned against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. “You went to work today?”
I took a long drink of beer and nodded. “Yep. And I threw up.”
Danielle snorted. “So, maybe they’ll think you were actually sick,” she said. “Look, we should go out – if you’re feeling well enough, that is.”
I tilted my head back and took a huge swallow, barely tasting the beer as it flowed down my throat. Something about the liquid filling my stomach was comforting – if I couldn’t be filled with hatred and anger, at least I could be filled with beer.
“Maybe,” I said, setting the nearly-empty bottle down on the counter.
Danielle looked shocked. “Wait,” she said. “You’re actually agreeing to go out with me?” She blinked. “What happened to Hanna Parker?”
“She was a na?ve idiot who got her heart broken by the world’s biggest asshole,” I said. “And she’s gone. Meet the new Hanna Parker, who doesn’t take shit from anyone.”
Danielle nodded. “I approve of this new Hanna,” she said. “As long as she still wants to be best friends with me.”
I sighed. “I know it’s not your fault,” I said, shaking my head. I tossed my empty beer bottle into the recycling bin with a satisfyingly loud sound. “You were just telling me what you thought was best.”
Danielle nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “I was. And I’m sorry if I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for. I misread James…I thought he really liked you.”
Just her words were enough to hurt me and I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry.
“I know,” I said. “Look, we’re all wrong sometimes. I’m not mad at you. I’m…I’m mad at myself, for being so goddamned stupid.”
“You’re not stupid,” Danielle said. She looked out the window. “And besides, you know what the best thing about Boston is?”
“The snow?” I asked sarcastically. “Because I’m pretty fucking sick of winter by now.”
“No,” Danielle said. “There’s tons of available men, just waiting to buy two pretty girls drinks.”
“Okay,” I said. I shrugged. “Why not. I’m still dressed.”
Danielle snorted. “You’re not going out in that,” she said, shaking her head at my sensible skirt suit ensemble. “You’re going to look like dynamite.”
I sighed. “Fine,” I replied. “Give me a couple of minutes and I’ll be ready.”
Danielle took my wrist and dragged me into her closet where she pulled a couple of tight, revealing dresses. She held up a bright red cocktail dress to my frame. It was strapless and satin, and I knew it would cling to my body like plastic wrap.
“I can’t wear that,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll freeze to death – are you crazy?”
Danielle laughed. “No, you won’t,” she said. “That’s what whiskey is for, right?”
I couldn’t help but giggle. It felt absurd to be laughing when my heart was broken into a million pieces, but I had to admit that it did feel good.
“Yeah,” I said, rolling my eyes and snatching the dress from her hands. “I guess you’re right.”
An hour later, Danielle and I were crammed into Booth, one of Boston’s hottest bars and clubs. I’d been drinking steadily since we’d arrived, and I was feeling tipsy, almost drunk. My skin felt hot and I could feel my blood throbbing through my veins in time to the loud pop music blasting from the speakers.
“See?” Danielle yelled, leaning close and cupping her hand around my ear. “Isn’t this fun?”
“It’s better than being back home,” I yelled back, reaching for another lemon drop shot and pouring it down my throat. After my first couple whiskey-and-ginger-ales, I’d stopped gagging at the sharp taste of alcohol. In fact, I was having so much fun that I was starting to wonder why I’d always turned down Danielle’s invitations to go out and party.
“We’re gonna feel like shit tomorrow,” Danielle yelled. “But it’ll be worth it! And James will see you’re hungover, and he’ll wonder if you were out with some guy!”
“I want to ban the name ‘James’ from my vocabulary,” I said loudly. “Because I’m so fucking sick of hearing it!”
The bartender placed another shot down in front of me – this one was a murky brown – and I didn’t even ask what was in it before grabbing it with both hands and downing the whole thing.
“God,” Danielle said. “You’d better watch it, Hanna, or you’re going to get sick!”
“I don’t care,” I replied, tossing my hair. “I deserve to be sick.”
Before Danielle could reply, the bartender leaned in and flashed us a big smile.
“Ladies,” he said in a charming Boston accent. “I got a couple of shots for you, on the house – how ‘bout it?”
I didn’t even think about it before grabbing one of the bright drinks from his hand and chugging it. It tasted both sweet and sour, and for a moment, I fought off an overwhelming wave of nausea. But then my stomach settled and I grinned.
“Thanks!” I yelled. I grabbed Danielle’s arm and pulled her close. “I’m gonna go pee, don’t leave, okay?”
Danielle gave me an absurd look. “Why would I leave?”
Turning around, I stumbled to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. It seemed harder than usual to yank up my dress and yank down my panties, and I was sweating by the time I was done. Just as I was about to flush, the door swung open. I saw someone standing there, grinning.
“Hey,” I slurred. “Leave me alone, I’m using this one!”
The person didn’t move. They stepped forward, grabbed my arm, and pulled me close before pressing a rag over my face.
It was the last thing I remembered before blacking out.
Chapter Fifteen
James
After breaking up with Hanna, I felt lower than I’d ever felt in my entire life. Nothing cheered me up. I didn’t have any appetite, I barely felt like drinking, and the last thing I wanted to do was to see Hanna every day at Magnate Group.
But I didn’t have a choice. That week, Mark and my other shareholders sat me down and gave me a huge piece of news – the expansion in Seoul had been approved, and it was only a matter of time before Magnate Group stepped onto the scene as the world’s leading consulting firm.
“James, your father would be so proud of you,” Mark said. He smiled, and for once I thought he looked genuinely happy about things. “I just know it.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, shaking my head.
“What’s wrong? Aren’t you pleased? This is everything you said you wanted,” Mark said.