“Did you ever read the B&P slut’s comments? Maybe these girls are some of her haters. She could have made the other videos solely as revenge, but then mine exploded and she saw a different opportunity. Her site even says she wants legitimization. What better way to sound lofty and get more views than create this scandal and then be the champion against it? Sharm, pull up her page, por favor.”
Sharma looked between us, her fingers motionless. Impatiently, I connected to the hub with my own Doc. I was onto something. I knew it.
“Look. The views on the post she made with the girls imitating me and Mr. E. in the classroom? Two million and climbing. Meanwhile the post she did the week before only received seven hundred fifty K. Who benefited? This chick. Plus, she knows about editing. There isn’t a single pic on her site that she didn’t edit the asterisks out of or put an anti-Woofer filter on. I mean, Auds, what do you know about this girl? Who is she?”
“All I know is that this is a useless tangent.” Audra’s face flushed as she struggled into a sitting position, jostling me hard in the shoulder. “And for the last time, would you stop calling this girl a slut? Maybe she’s no President Malin, but at least she has better hair and her office isn’t broke.”
“Audra, I’m warning you. Don’t make fun of the president.”
Slowly, as if savoring every word, Audra said, “Malin botched her Middle East foreign policy and she all-caps HAS NO FASHION SENSE.”
“Uh-oh.” Fawn was back, looking more rumpled than ever. “What’d I miss?”
“They’re insulting each other’s role models,” Sharma said.
I turned back to the screen so Audra couldn’t see my eyes well up. I knew I was being ridiculous, but New Year’s Eve wasn’t for four more days. I still had lots of time before my drama-free New Year’s resolution took effect. On-screen the B&P slut and co. were in a sparsely furnished room wearing neon wigs.
“Whatever.” Audra yawned. “You take everything so personally. Ping me when the Harriet the Spy portion of the night is over and we can go back to having fun.”
I scrolled through the pics. There was something familiar about them. The post was about making new friends, and the three girls in the pics were all over one another, their bodies linked with a hand on a waist here, arms entwined there. If they’d had their clothes on, instead of bright pink and purple mixed bra sets, there’d be nothing sexy about the pics. The girls and I draped ourselves over one another like that all the time. Even now, Fawn had settled back in and was braiding Sharma’s hair, while Audra rested her head on Fawn’s butt as she played on her Doc.
It wasn’t the B&P girls who were familiar. It was the room behind them—those wide wraparound windows with the shades drawn.
I’d been in that room.
I knew that space.
It was in the Cimorelli brownstone. Before they discontinued using me as a babysitter this past week, I used to show it for them when they weren’t home. They rented it out as office space to help pay for their kid’s nanny care.
I didn’t just recognize the Bra&Panties slut’s new space. I’d suggested it to her.
It was after midnight. It had taken me nearly an hour to pull myself together. Now, in the kitchen, I watched my petite best friend root around in my freezer, trying to think of my opening line.
Of all the girls, Audra stayed over the most. Prior to this fall, when the numbers had inexplicably, or now not so inexplicably, reduced, it hadn’t been unusual for her to sleep over three or more times a week. Sometimes, like when she complained that we were having cereal for breakfast again, having Audra over got on my family’s nerves. But never mine. Anyone whose family was so terrible they didn’t even want to sleep in their own bed—my favorite place on earth—deserved a little leeway.
Tonight I had no such sympathies.
“So when were you going to tell me you’re the Bra&Panties slut?”
Our refrigerator was a side-by-side model. Audra stooped down to look through the bottom shelves of the freezer even though she only ever wanted blueberry gelato. It was the only reason my mom bought it. Her back stiffened, but she nonchalantly grabbed the deep-blue pint container, as if I hadn’t spoken. Stepping around me, she took a spoon from the drawer next to the sink, then hoisted herself up onto the counter. Her heels lightly tapped the cupboards below as she said, “I didn’t think the future president of the United States would understand her kind of entrepreneurial—”
“‘Her’?” I cut her off. “‘Her’ who? You are her. This is why you always keep your Doc on private. Why you never sleep over anymore and always have unelaborated ‘plans.’ This is where all your money comes from. You sell pictures of your boobs and tush, to what? Buy shoes?”
Audra dug out an enormous scoop of gelato and took a tiny bite.
“Please, Kyle.” She licked her lips. “You’re seventeen. It’s time for you to say tits and ass like the big kids. And, yes, you’ve got me all figured out. I just couldn’t stand not shopping enough.”
“So then why do it?”
“Why should I tell you?” She slammed down the gelato, launched herself off the counter, and shouldered past me to grab a juice box from the fridge.
“Because I thought I was your best friend.”
Audra jabbed at the juice box until the flimsy straw broke. She set them both on the counter.
Without looking at me, she said, “The New Year’s Eve reveal should net me close to five hundred thousand dollars. The countdown clock alone, at fifty thousand purchases at two ninety-nine apiece, has earned me a hundred and fifty thousand. That Vogue.com thing I was telling you about? It’s real. They want me to start in February. What’s all this for? It’s for never again letting a douche like Cobi Watkins have power over my body and image. Or anyone else’s, for that matter.”
I knew Boobgate had scarred my friend, but becoming the queen of nudie pics as a response? It was either the most brilliant or most misguided way of dealing with boyfriend betrayal that I’d ever heard of. Leave it to Audra, I guess. Girl never did anything small.
“And it’s for never ever having to ask the Parents for another dime for as long as I live. I know it’s hard for you to understand, coming from your perfect family, Kylie, but living the rest of my life independent and free of my parents is the only future goal I have right now. I already have a down payment on an apartment in Williamsburg. I’m moving there as soon as school’s over.”
AnyLiesUnmade. It was all lies. This hadn’t been going on for just a few weeks. B&P had started almost ten months ago. That meant nearly a third of our friendship had involved Audra keeping a huge secret from me. And not unintentionally. I thought of all the times her Doc had been set to private when we were together. Feeling light-headed, I slid down and sat on the floor.