Jude seems to be on the same page as me. The hand behind my back lifts me against him and my body arches in welcome.
“I’ve been imagining this since the moment we met,” he says in a soft voice, and I know now that he could have had me at any time. The fact that he waited, that he pursued me, turns me on like nothing ever has before, because I know this isn’t some simple fling. This isn’t just sex. This is real and I can’t be scared of that with him.
His mouth trails down to the valley between my breasts. “I want to taste you.”
Oh, God, I want you to.
My hunger triples as he continues his progress down to my bellybutton, down to the crease between my thighs. He moves between my legs and his lips sink into me. The heat of his breath ripples across the sensitive skin.
I don’t remember the last time I was with a man like this. I don’t remember the last time I wanted a man like this.
My head sinks back and I clutch the sheets as he begins his slow assault. His tongue delves expertly between the crease of my sex. I know now that I’ll want this every day. I’ll want him every day. That’s the problem with an addictive personality, I suppose.
I seek the back of his head and clutch his hair tightly, holding on as he coaxes me toward a release that I’ve denied myself until now. How could I have ever thought I could live without this? I’m alive.
The French call an orgasm the little death, but I disagree. It’s life. He’s breathing it into me, giving his essence to me. When I shatter over his tongue, I’m so full of his soul that I shake and tremble.
I’m still quivering when he crawls up my body and slides his arms around my waist.
“Still sure, Sunshine?” he murmurs.
This time I can only nod. My body is still spasming from the effects of his expert orgasm. He reaches for the bedside table and I hear the rip of foil.
“I’m on the pill,” I whisper, “and I haven’t…since before Max…”
I allow him to fill in the blanks. Heat creeps over my cheeks as I share, but Jude kisses away my embarrassment.
“I’m clean,” he reassures me. I bite my lip as he rolls on the condom. I’d been too preoccupied with his eyes as he undressed earlier, and slightly too embarrassed to look down as he took off his pants, but now as I feel him nudging against my entrance I brace myself. Jude waits, pausing and allowing me to adjust as he slowly slides inside me inch by inch.
I stretch and he fills. I take and he gives. Another small climax rolls through me as he takes root inside me. It’s a tiny aftershock of what he’s just given me and a taste of what’s to come.
“That’s right, Sunshine,” he coaxes as he begins to rock his body against mine. “I am going to give you what you need. I’m going to keep you safe. Let me take care of you.”
My body goes slack, overwhelmed by the sensations and emotions crowding at my core, but he holds me steady.
“Oh, God! Yes, Jude.” The strangled cry leaps from my lips, sprung from a place I’d locked away.
Here with him I find myself and the parts of me that have been missing. He makes me whole and as he gently thrusts inside me, I know that nothing will be the same after today. Nothing will be the same after Jude Mercer and with that realization, I crack apart and rebuild myself around him.
Chapter 13
Jude filters into my dreams and I wake, twisted in the sheets and damp with sweat. My eyelids flutter open to the soft glow of the morning leaking in through the windows. I flip over and bury my face in the pillow, trying to sort through what’s real and what came from my unconscious mind. I remember his lips, his hands on my skin. Desire tightens across my belly and I clutch the pillow. It’s morning. I scramble to look for a clock.
My phone is sitting on the bedside table and I grab it. Amie answers after two rings.
“I am so fucking proud of you!” she says immediately. “Details! I need details! Was he amazing? Is he huge? Does he ride you like the motorcycle he should have instead of that Jeep?”
I don’t bother to tell her that he has a motorcycle. There are more important things to worry about.
“I am so sorry,” I say, bypassing everything she’s just said to me. “I’m on my way home now.”
“Wait, I told you to stay out all night,” Amie reminds me.
“Yes, but I told you I wasn’t going to. Is Max upset?”
“Max is at preschool. I made him pancakes this morning and told him that Mommy was sleeping in.”
I can’t remember having slept in once in the last five years. “And he bought that?”
“Yes, he also mentioned that he thought Mommy should sleep in more often, but that might have been because I made him chocolate chip pancakes.”
“You spoil him,” I say, but relief washes over me. Max is okay, the world didn’t end, and I’ve just had the best night of my life.
“Well, someone has to spoil him. His hussy mother was out all night long,” Amie teases.