“You’re beautiful.” His gaze dipped, tracking the lacy edges of the bra. “Never thought I’d see you like this. So freaking glad I have. You’re so beautiful, Mallory.”
My heart swelled so fast I thought it would lift me to the ceiling.
“But I think we...” His grip tightened on my hips. “We...we should stop.”
Stopping was the last thing I wanted to do. Courage was buzzing through my veins. I pressed my hips down, and his groan shot a shiver of acute awareness through me. “I don’t want to.”
“Mallory.” My name sounded like a prayer and a curse as his slid his hands up my sides. “We’ve both been through a lot. I don’t want you to regret this.”
“I won’t.” I rested my forehead against his. “I’m ready for this—for this with you.” My fingers curled into his thermal. “I want this—I love you. I’m in love with you.”
I don’t know what it was exactly that I said that did it, but his hands tightened on my waist and then I was on my back, under him, and his mouth was on me. The kisses were hard and drugging and I knew what his kiss was saying.
Rider was ready, too.
Chapter 34
Everything sped up and then slowed down.
His thermal came off, and even though I’d seen him shirtless before, it didn’t prepare me for seeing him like that again. He was all smooth, hard skin under my fingertips. His body was so different than mine. I was soft under his hands, but he appeared to be just as awestruck as I was. He explored. I explored. There were few words as first his jeans came off and then mine. The bra slipped down my arms.
I was nervous. My hands trembled. No one had ever seen so much of me, almost everything. The urge to cover myself was hard to ignore, but when his chest touched mine, and there was nothing between us, I wasn’t thinking.
Everything was about feeling, and unlike before, there wasn’t a bitter tinge of panic edging out the wonderful heat and curious tension. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to expect, but it didn’t drown the passion or make me want to run away. I rode it out as my hands moved lower, as his hands followed. Our bodies were moving against one another, restless and seeking. His hand slipped over my hip, his fingers following the band of my underwear. I shivered as my back arched. The sound he made curled my toes.
Using his elbows, he braced his body over mine. Rider kissed me deeply, thoroughly, as he pushed down. My leg curled over his. My fingers tangled in his hair. His mouth left mine as his lips coasted over my chin and then down my throat. My senses spun as he went lower, blazing a path.
“Shit,” he groaned, lifting his head.
My eyes fluttered open, lips feeling wonderfully swollen. “What?”
“We...we have to stop.” He moved up, cradling my face. Stop? I didn’t want to stop. He made a rough sound, obviously thinking the same. “I don’t have protection.”
“You don’t?” Surprise flooded me.
He rested his forehead against mine. “I’m guessing you don’t, either.”
I almost laughed. “Don’t...all guys have condoms in, like, their wallets?” My face burned as I asked the question.
Rider chuckled. “God. I wish that was the case. I just haven’t... Well, you know. I’ve never gone this far.”
“I know.” I slid my hand over his chest as I tried to get control of my breathing. “You didn’t buy them when you...when you were with Paige?”
His gaze met mine. “I did. Once. Didn’t use them.” He turned his head, kissing the center of my palm. “Didn’t really plan on this happening today.”
“Me, neither.” I bit down on my lip. Part of me wanted to forget about the fact that we didn’t have protection, but that would be incredibly, well, reckless. Sort of dumb, too. Being responsible sucked, but if we couldn’t do that... “There...there are things we can do.”
His lips quirked. “Oh yeah, there are definitely other things we can do.”
And we did some of those things. Things that we’d started Saturday. And this time, when his hand slipped over my thighs, between them, I didn’t panic. As the unfamiliar and nearly overwhelming feelings built inside me, I welcomed them, the unknown of it all. I touched him without fear of not knowing what to do, and I quickly learned, there wasn’t much that I could do wrong with him. The only thing in the room that could be heard over my pounding heart was the breathy moans and deeper, rougher groans.
When it was over, I was shattered in a blissful, amazing way I could never have imagined. I could barely describe how it felt. It was like being pulled too tight, but in a very good way, and when all that strange, heady tension broke, it hit me in waves. It seemed to be the same for Rider, because when he collapsed next to me, he was breathing just as fast and heavy. Forever passed before I could speak.
“That was...” I rolled onto my side, facing him as I crossed my arms over my chest.