“I couldn’t give him a family, and for a while between rounds I couldn’t give him my body. Apparently I wasn’t enough. But now,” I said, my voice catching on the sob lodged in my throat. “Now he’s married to her and she’s having his baby.” The sob broke free and I collapsed against him, crying for so many reasons. Crying because my ex-husband cheated on me. Crying because I would never be the mother I so desperately longed to be. And crying because I had just told the man I’d hoped I could build some sort of life with exactly what kind of desolate future he would have if he stayed with me.
“Hey,” he whispered into my hair between tender kisses against my temple. “Grace, don’t cry, baby. Shhhh….” He held me as I sobbed, which both soothed and embarrassed me. “I know it sounds trite,” he said as he slowly swayed me back and forth, trying to comfort me. “But any man who would cheat on you is an idiot.” A tiny smile crossed my face, not that he could see it. “But any man who cheats on his wife while she’s sacrificing herself to give him a child, well, he’s an asshole.” Devon pulled back and brushed all my crazy hair away from my face, looking me right in the eye. “And, baby, you deserve better than that.”
He was right, but he was also wrong. Jeff had done something terrible to me, I could understand that. But there was always a bigger part of my brain that held on to the idea that he wouldn’t have cheated on me if I’d been able to give him a child. When he’d married me, he expected a whole woman, but what he’d gotten was a broken one, a woman with something incredibly damaged inside her.
The most terrible part of my brain couldn’t blame him for cheating.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice hoarse from crying. “I should go.”
“Grace, no,” he said, his hands coming back to my shoulders. “Please stay and talk to me. If you leave now, I feel like you’re just going to go home and have another breakdown.”
I nodded, unable to vocalize that he was probably right.
“How can I make this better? What can I do?”
“It’s not your job to make it better.”
He pulled back at my words, like I’d insulted him, even though it was the last thing I wanted.
“I realize the man you were with treated you poorly. I’m sure I’ll eventually hear more about the ways he treated the woman he was supposed to cherish, because there will be more with us, Grace. Not because it’s my job, and not because I’m obligated, but because it’s what I want. You’re what I want.” His hands slid down my arms and he laced his fingers through mine. “Nothing you just told me makes me want you less. It just makes me want to protect you more.”
“I’m a mess,” I cried. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to push him away more or convince him, but he only laughed and pulled me closer.
“Remember the first time we met, Grace? I was a mess too. Something in the universe keeps pushing us together when we need it the most, and I don’t know about you, but I’m done fighting the universe.”
“It really is a stupid idea,” I said, laughing and crying at the same time, but smiling too. Devon dipped again and kissed me softly.
“I’m sorry you went through all that,” he said against my cheek as his mouth moved to my neck, pressing a kiss there, but then just resting, his arms wrapping around my waist. I curled my arms around his neck and let him hold me. “And I’m sorry the man who should have been there for you through the whole thing turned out to be a classic asshole.” He sighed, his arms tightening around me. “But if I’m really honest, if he’d been a great guy, you wouldn’t be in my arms right now.”
Chills raced down my spine and goose bumps spread all over my arms. He was right. We’d both walked a terrible and sad road, but we’d found the way to each other. The past was in the past, and the future, in this moment perhaps, looked brighter because of the man in front of me.
“There’s still a lot to talk about, but, for now, I’m glad we found each other. Again.”
“Come talk to me over dinner at my house,” he whispered, his face still buried in my neck.
“Okay,” I replied, my voice a soft whisper. Because, honestly, how was I supposed to say no?
Chapter Fifteen
Devon
It had been an exhausting afternoon. After Grace left, I’d spent the rest of my day at work either worried about her, or really fucking pissed off at her ex-husband. What kind of douche bag lowlife cheats on his wife while she’s trying to give him a child? For the rest of the day, anytime I helped a customer find a product, I only imagined all the ways I could use it to maim him. Rope? I’d tie that bastard up. Hand saw? That could do some damage. Ball peen hammer? Now we’re talking.
My exhaustion must have showed on my face because as soon as I showed up at my parents’ house to pick up the kids, my mom took one look at me, put her worried face on, and insisted on keeping the kids overnight. Ruby and Jax, who’d been camped in front of the television eating something that resembled every parent’s worst sugar nightmare, didn’t object. In fact, they didn’t even look at me. They just waved over their heads and said they were fine sleeping over. So I left without them and realized I had an evening with Grace and no kids.