Devon’s head fell softly forward, his forehead now resting against my belly. “Right now, I pretty much hate sand blasters,” he said quietly, making me giggle. That only made his head bob against my belly, which made me giggle even more. When he pulled back he had a smile on his face too.
“You go help your father and I’ll clean up lunch.” I ran my fingers through his hair again, just because I wanted to, but then dropped my hands to my sides, not wanting to detain him any longer. He pushed his chair back, stood, dropped a quick kiss on my lips, and left the office with a smile.
“I’m not finished with you,” he called as he walked through the doors, and I couldn’t help but smile. There was a small garbage can beneath his desk, so I used it to collect the plates from our lunch, a stupid, lovesick smile on my face, and my phone buzzed again. I dug around in my purse, found my phone, and saw I had two messages from Shelby.
**Hey lady, do you have a minute to talk?**
**Give me a call as soon as you get a chance.**
My best friend radar went on panic mode and I dialed her immediately. The phone only gave half a ring before she answered.
“Hey, Grace. How are you?”
“I’m fine, honey. How are you? What’s wrong?” My mind started ticking off all the things she could be calling me about. Had something happened to her parents? Was she sick? Good God, what if it was cancer?
“I’m all right. I just wanted to talk to you about something. Do you have a minute?”
“Yeah,” I said, confused. I sat back down in the recliner and could feel the tension building between my eyebrows, where my face was probably all tense and wrinkled.
“Are you sitting down?”
“Shelby, stop. You’re worrying me. What’s going on?”
“I ran into Jeff at the grocery store today.”
There were many things in my life I’d changed in order to try and never hear that name again, or at least not for a long time. Hearing it caught me off guard and put my whole body on alert, but not the same way it would have three years ago, or even three months ago. I’d moved all the way to Florida to put as much space between my ex-husband and myself as possible, which made me wonder why Shelby thought she had to call me with a status update.
“Okay,” I replied, drawing the word out, wondering where this conversation was going.
“He was with Jessica.”
Now that name could always get a response from me. Hearing her name had a tendency to make me angry.
“And she was pregnant.”
I went completely numb. The only sensation I could feel was my heartbeat pounding in my head, thumping wildly, deafeningly loud. Then my chest began to burn and I realized I was holding my breath.
“Grace? Are you there?” Shelby sounded tiny and very far away. “Grace, it’s going to be all right.” Her words cracked and somewhere in my mind I knew she was crying. Shelby had cried with me a lot over the years, but when Shelby cried, it was usually because she was worried about me. She’d seen me at my lowest point, the very bottom of a very black hole, and she’d watched me crumble. It was probably difficult for her to tell me this over the phone. She probably wanted to be right next to me when she said those words, to be able to look me in the eye and gauge whether or not I was about to spiral down the rabbit hole again. “Please, Grace, just say something.”
“I’m here,” I managed, although just those words were almost said in a sob. I needed to keep it together until I could be alone and have the breakdown I deserved.
“She looked miserable, sweetie. Real fat. Not just pregnant fat, but like she decided to eat for five, not two. And Jeff, he looked terrible too. Just awful. Eating for five as well.”
I knew all of that wasn’t true. Jessica probably looked great pregnant; even if she couldn’t get rid of her resting bitch face or terrible personality, she wasn’t bad looking. And it would take a lot to make Jeff unattractive. He had those all-American, boy-next-door looks.
“Shelby….” I wanted to tell her she didn’t have to lie to me, didn’t have to try and make me feel better.
“I wouldn’t have even told you, but I know how word gets around, and I figured you’d rather hear it from me than someone else.”
“Yeah.” She was right about that. “I know.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Shel. In the back of my mind I knew this would happen someday. Actually, I’m surprised it hasn’t happened sooner.” I tried to laugh, but I ended up crying a little, wiping a tear from under my eye before it could trail down my cheek.
“How can I help?” she asked, and she sounded genuine, as if she really needed to do something to help me.
“There’s nothing to do. You’ve been there for me through everything. That’s more than I can ask for.” I heard heavy footsteps coming closer and panicked. “I’ve got to go, Shel. I’ll call you later.”