Jamie: You really believe in this?
Annie: For fuck’s sake, James. Holly and I already have a deposit on a DJ and a balloon artist for the wedding. There’s more riding on this than you think.
He chuckled—he couldn’t help it—and the small release felt good. He could do this. He could wear her down and make her fight back.
Jamie: You’re crazy.
Annie: And you’re crazy about my best friend, so go fix this. Then tell her to text me everything. And I mean everything, James.
He laughed and took that to be the end of the conversation. She was right. It was time to fix this. He just hoped he could.
Chapter Twenty-One
“You didn’t exactly make it hard to find you.”
Brynn pulled her coat tight across her chest and burrowed into the corner of the bench in the B&B’s garden.
“I wasn’t exactly hiding. I just needed a minute.”
Jamie nodded toward the spot beside her, and she shrugged. She’d only noticed now that he’d abandoned his usual travel attire of a T-shirt and a hoodie for a fitted khaki button-down and dark jeans. A smile tugged at the corners of her lips. He dressed up for her. But then she remembered he lied to her about Liz and his motivation for the trip. And teenaged Brynn let everything she thought she’d tucked away for all those years rise to the surface, and it was all too much.
He sat down, his knee bumping hers, and for a minute they just stared at the small pond in front of them. It was dark now, but the low lights by the water illuminated Jamie’s profile, and she peeked at him from the corner of her eye, watching his chest rise and fall.
Even though they’d grown up together, a part of her always saw him as the goofy skater boy from middle school. Never mind that the summer between freshman and sophomore year had been quite the transformation for him, a growth spurt combined with the added muscle mass he’d gained playing volleyball at the beach or pickup baseball games with his buddies. Jamie wasn’t a star athlete in high school, but he was good enough to hold his own in any sport he played. He just played for fun rather than to win, something she now saw as kind of noble. And sexy. But she hadn’t seen it then, or maybe she hadn’t let herself. She realized that hanging on to her initial vision of Jamie’s preteen self was her safety net. Not noticing him the way other girls did meant she wasn’t jealous, didn’t feel like she was missing out, because she had the part of him that mattered most.
“Why, Jamie? Why weren’t you honest with me?” she asked.
He put his arm across the back of the bench. Not around her, though. For how close they were sitting, both were noticeably trying not to touch, and her stomach twisted.
Too quick. It was all happening too quick, from the intensity of that first kiss to Jamie’s profession of a decade-long love, to him admitting he’d only offered to take her to L.A. in the hopes that something would happen between them. She couldn’t fault him for wanting what she knew they both wanted now. She just couldn’t quiet the tiny voice in her head that kept asking the same questions. If circumstances hadn’t thrown them together like they did today, what would have happened if they’d made it to Adrian and their room with two separate beds? What if they’d made it all the way to L.A.? Would he have told her then?
Sure, Brynn had an epiphany at Cadillac Ranch, but she also thought Jamie was taken. She rationalized her excuse for not speaking up before Frank and Dora asked them to kiss. But Jamie didn’t seem to have one other than doubt.
Jamie tilted his head back, and she followed his gaze to the full moon above them.
“Then or now?” he asked, making a feeble attempt at levity. “Fine,” he said, when she didn’t respond. “I’ll start with then. How was I supposed to compete with the guy who seemingly ticked off everything on your list?” he continued. “Football player: check. Band geek: check. Ace student in every AP class offered and even the ones they didn’t?” He looked at her then, and she rolled her eyes. “Don’t think I wasn’t aware he took Mandarin at the community college. Big, fat, fucking check.”
Brynn groaned and threw her hands in the air before standing from the bench. And yes, she poked Jamie in the eye when she did it, but whatever.
“I’m sorry!” The apology was a reflex. This was their dance—Brynn wild with exasperation and Jamie with an injury, most of the time not life-threatening. “But you kind of deserved that.” He didn’t protest, only wiped the involuntary tear away from his watering eye. “It’s not a competition, Jamie.”