“You’re overanalyzing, big sister.” Holly knew her so well. “Maybe things with him and Elizabeth aren’t that serious.”
She let out a bitter laugh. “He’s been with her for months, Holl. Months. Yet he said he loved me.” Her palms were sweating, making it harder to hang on to the phone. She felt a familiar panic, not unlike her behavior in the St. Louis Arch capsule. Except this time she wasn’t afraid for her life. She was afraid for her heart.
“God,” she continued. “It’s not like I’m any better. I’m traveling across the country for one guy, and I just slept with another.”
“Hey,” Holly said. “You are not a cheater. Whatever might happen with you and Spencer, it hasn’t happened yet. You did nothing wrong.”
But she had, hadn’t she? She knew Jamie was with someone else, yet she let it all happen. And as angry and confused as she was, she couldn’t help the way her body reacted to thoughts of what she and Jamie had done less than an hour ago. Yes, she let it happen, but it was the best happening she’d experienced. Ever.
Brynn shook her head. “I did,” she said, her voice flat.
Holly sighed. “This is you and Jamie, sis. Jamie. I know I’ve given you shit for years, but that’s only because nothing is more right than you two. Yes, you may have gotten off to a messy start. But think about what you found today. You’ve both just been too freaking stubborn to see it.”
Or blind, Brynn thought. Quite literally, until this morning. Now that she saw what had been in front of her the whole time, she could only fixate on what it would be like to lose it. But she smiled at the tenderness in Holly’s voice, something she knew didn’t come easily for her snarky little sister.
“Everything just happened so fast today. I need time to think. I need Jamie to give me some sort of explanation that will make this somehow okay. So…we’ll talk, I guess. Right?”
“Atta girl!” Holly said.
Brynn took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Time to walk into that dining room and face her fake husband/adulterous lover and a bunch of strangers head on. Piece of crashed-wedding cake.
“Love you, Holl.”
“Love you, Brynn. I’m gonna text Annie now and tell her everything.”
“Holly, wait!”
But she was already gone.
Chapter Twenty
Jamie sipped his beer slowly and plastered on a smile as Dora scooped a helping of chili into his bowl. The storm had passed, and the evening chill filled the room through opened windows, perfect weather for a warm meal. But Jamie felt chilled to the bone after watching Brynn lie to him.
Maybe it wasn’t an out-and-out lie, but it was one hell of an omission. He was positive she was in the hall texting Holly. They’d talked every day of the trip, sometimes more than once. But if she was texting Holly, then she also saw the text from Spencer and said nothing. He would wait her out. It wasn’t his place to bring it up and not just because he’d look like a jealous teenager. They were in public—with a bunch of strangers. He’d cut her some slack for that. But Brynn had to make a choice, which meant telling him about Spencer and what she’d decided. When they got back to the room, she’d come clean.
“Thank you,” Jamie said, as another guest—a woman his mother’s age, maybe—handed him a basket of corn bread.
Brynn walked back in the room, her eyes finding his and, man, it was hard to hold on to his doubt when she looked at him like that, like she was finally seeing what had been there between them since they met in middle school. Even when he didn’t know he loved her like this, he knew their friendship was unlike any other he’d experienced. It took puberty and a bit of wising up for his head to figure out what his heart had known all along. Then it took another decade of thinking he could protect that heart from what it felt right now.
She sat down beside him, and he smelled the clean soap mixed with her skin. All their years giving each other celebrity perfumes and colognes for Christmas, he wasn’t sure he knew what her scent was before this week. Now his sense memory was all her—the sight of her looking at him in a way that made his heart stop, the touch of her skin against his, the taste of her on his tongue. He felt consumed in a way that brought him to life and at the same time paralyzed him with fear.
The table was buzzing with conversation, which meant he could steal a private moment with Brynn.
“Everything good in Hollyland?” he asked, trying to keep his voice even.
She nodded but didn’t say anything. His instinct was to lean in and kiss her, but she backed away. The movement was slight but perceptible enough for him to notice, and doubt reared its ugly head again. After what just happened in their room, this was not a good sign. And, unfortunately, he was starting to believe in signs.
No one else seemed to notice the awkwardness between supposed husband and wife. Instead the group welcomed Brynn to the table, and she smiled at the new faces.
“How long have you two been together?” This came from the corn-bread woman.