Riley rocked faster, riding me like she was out of control. I loved seeing her like this, completely lost to her pleasure and wild with ecstasy. Each fluid motion of her pelvis made her moans deeper and longer. I thrust my hips up, wanting to reach the end point of her channel, wanting to fill her up and make her explode.
She cried out my name as she climaxed, her body shaking against mine, and I couldn’t hold my orgasm back. It ripped through me, and I quickly lifted Riley off of me and watched as thick tendrils of my release flew across her thighs and on my abs.
Riley was the first woman I’d ever not worn a condom with, the first woman I trusted enough to do such a thing. She was on the pill, and I believed her when she said she was religious about taking it. Besides, the thought of having a child with this woman didn’t make me panic.
She fell into a jumble on the floor next to me. I snaked my arm under her shoulders and pulled her close. Our ragged exhales fell into a weird synchronicity as we just lay still and looked up at the ceiling.
Riley groaned and turned to the side, her nose pressed into my chest as I wrapped my arm around her tighter and kissed the top of her hair. She smelled like her place and my place combined. It was perfect.
Gingerly easing her off me, I helped her to her feet and guided her to the bathroom. The whole time we showered, I stared at her. She blushed, but I couldn’t help it. This amazing girl was mine.
Once I had Riley dried off and dressed in my most comfortable pajamas, I took her back to the dining room. It was dark outside, the sun having set sometime while Riley and I were lost in our own personal heaven.
“Are you hungry now?” I asked.
She smiled guiltily. “Yes.”
I pulled a chair out for her. With her seated, I started serving the meal we didn’t so much as touch earlier.
“It’s cold,” I announced, scooping some kind of lamb dish onto a plate. “I’ll have to heat it up.”
Riley didn’t answer.
“It’ll just take a couple minutes.” I looked across the table to find her chewing on her lip. My hand holding the serving spoon instantly fell. “What is it?”
She looked at me with sad eyes. “I’m sorry, Xavier, but I can’t just let it go. What are you going to do about that list?”
Her pain was so evident I could feel it pressing down on my chest. I sighed and dropped back into my chair. “You can’t be with a man who lets something like that go on.”
She nodded. “I know you’re not going to use the list anymore…”
“But you can’t be happy while I sit by and let it be used,” I finished for her.
“Exactly,” she whispered. “I’m sorry. Everything is so close to perfect now. You’re so perfect, this...” She trailed off and dropped her head into her hands.
A new desire was already rising in me. Now that I had Riley, I would do whatever it took to both keep her and make her happy. Part of that meant doing the right thing simply because it was what needed to be done. Riley couldn’t stand by and idly watch that list be used. And now, because she couldn’t, neither could I.
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
Riley
“Come here,” Xavier said, gesturing to the couch. I stood, my knees shaking slightly, then moved to the end of the couch, sat and looked up at him. The tightness of his jaw told me something big was coming. He settled next to me and took one of my hands in his. “I understand why you’re upset, and I have a plan.”
I blinked at him. “What kind of plan?”
Xavier looked me straight in the eye. “I’m going to destroy the list.”
A thousand emotions squeezed my heart. “Seriously?”
“Yes.”
Love swelled in my chest. “Thank you,” I whispered from a tight throat.
He lifted my hand to his lips. “It’s for the best. For you and me, and the women on it. Hell, it’s probably best for Julian and Davis too. It’s created too many problems. It should have been deleted a long time ago.”
“Where is it?”
“It’s in a file on the computer in Enigma’s office.”
I frowned. “I kind of figured it would be in a more dramatic place.”
He grinned. “Like written on a scroll that’s locked away in a bank vault?”
“Well, not quite that dramatic...”
Xavier sat back, a pained look on his face. “I’m breaking a pact by doing this, and my word is all I have. It means everything to me.”
I nodded. “You’re a good man.”
He scoffed. “Hardly, but I do have a set of rules I live by, and breaking one of them is hard. That’s why I want to do it soon. Tomorrow. It’s best just to get this all over with so that we can move on.”
“I’ll come with you.”
“No,” he said, a bite in his voice.
“What? Why not?”
“Because it’s something I need to do, and it could be...”
“Could be what?”
“Dangerous,” he said between clamped teeth.
I shook my head. “How is it dangerous?”
“If the others disagree—”
“Disagree? What if they do? You own the place along with them, Xavier. You have a right to put an end to this.”
He ground his teeth together and looked up at the ceiling. “It’s not that.”
I still didn’t understand. “Then what is it? Tell me how you’ll be in danger.”
“It’s not me I’m worried about, it’s you. Davis and Julian are good men, but we created an understanding a long time ago. The group comes first, women second.”
“I still don’t get it. You think they would hurt me?”
He frowned. “No, of course they wouldn’t. I’m just not sure how they’ll react. It could get ugly.”
Frustrated, I crossed my arms and glared at him. “It sounds like you’re just being irrational.”
His nostrils flared. “You’re safer here, Riley.”
I threw my arms up into the air. “You say that, but you’re not giving me a reason as to why I’m safer here!”
“You’re safer here because I said so. When, not if, Seth finds out, there will be trouble. There might even be punches thrown. I refuse to put you in the middle of possible danger.”
“Hm.”
“All right?”
I crossed my arms again. “Nope. Not all right.”
“Riley, I swear to God—”
“Swear as much as you like, I’m going with you. And if you try to leave without me, I’ll just follow you there.”
Xavier rubbed his eyes. “Christ, when did you become so strong-willed?”
I grinned. “Since I met you.”
“Tell me,” he said in a calmer voice than before. “And please be honest. Why do you really want to come with me?”
Because I don’t trust you yet.
I looked down, ashamed just to be having the thought. I believed that Xavier loved me and wanted to keep me safe, but I didn’t entirely believe he was of the same mind as me when it came to this list. I saw it as extremely damaging and got the impression that he found it to be more of a mild threat.
How was I to know that he would actually destroy it? What if he just went to the club, took my name off, then sat around for a while before coming back to me?
“Riley?”
“Please let me go,” I whispered. “I’ll die of suspense if I’m forced to wait for you to return.”