The List

Riley’s lashes danced in surprise. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know that.”


“Because I didn’t want you to know that. I don’t tell people about my life. I carry it around with me, but I make sure to always keep it a secret. Everyone has their own burdens to worry about. I don’t ask anyone to help me with mine.”

“I would,” Riley said, her voice and face so earnest my heart squeezed.

“I know you would. That’s one of the things that’s so special about you. Look, I’m bringing this up because I want you to know what this has been like for me. I don’t know how to let someone in because I promised myself I wouldn’t. I promised myself I would never become like my parents.”

“Xavier—”

“Hold on. There’s more. That choice was foolish. Along with it, I made other foolish choices. I hunted men at the club, men who were fucking with girls. I thought that by taking them outside and fighting them, I was enacting some justice. I thought I was a kind of hero.”

“That’s who you fight? Guys who… bother girls?”

“Yes.”

Riley’s eyes grew hazy and took on a faraway look. “Wow.”

A woman came up to the doorway. I took Riley’s elbow and pulled her over to the wall. “I only fight men who deserve it.”

“I don’t know, Xavier, it still sounds brutal.”

“I am brutal,” I said, the truth of the words a heavy burden.

Her lips pressed tightly together. “Yeah. I guess you are.” She looked down at her hands, which were twisting together against her dress. “I don’t know what to say to all of this.”

“I understand if you don’t have anything to say right now. I just couldn’t let you go without telling you these things. I haven’t been fair to you. I’ve hidden myself while you’ve exposed yourself.”

“It’s understandable,” she said, then sighed. “I suppose. Was it really bad? With your parents?”

I gritted my teeth. “My mom has had more than one broken bone. She didn’t get them from falling down the stairs or walking into a door, as much as she’d like for the ER nurses to believe that.”

Riley’s eyes grew wet, and one big tear slid down her cheek. “Thank you for telling me this. It gives me something to think about.”

There was a painful finality in her words. She might not be staying after all, I realized. She might still be turning around and walking out of my life. I’d hurt her that bad.

“There’s more,” I blurted out. “There’s more. Don’t go. I love you. I love you so much, Riley. You’re mine. I know I’ve already said that, but I mean it in every way. You’re supposed to be mine. Forever. Somehow, I just fucking know it.”

Riley’s eyes went wider than I’d ever seen them. “I… I...”

I seized her waist and pulled her to me, my lips silencing her words. I pressed her as hard against me as I could while I kissed her. If I could, I would have molded our bodies together. I would have made us one person.

Riley broke the kiss and took a half step back. Her eyes were still bright and big, making her look like she was in shock. I kept my hand on her back. I wasn’t moving it from her until I was forced to.

She stared at me for the longest time. It was a moment that seemed like it would never end. Even as she opened her lips to speak, the half second passed by as if in slow motion.

“Take me upstairs,” she said softly.

They were the most beautiful words I’d ever heard. I almost wished they’d never been uttered, that’s how good they were. They were so amazing they hurt. They pierced me in the chest and injected me with a kind of sensation I’d never experienced.

Love.

That’s what it was. Amazement. Wonder. This extraordinary woman wanted to be mine.

Twisting my fingers in hers, I pulled her toward the elevator. I caught a glimpse of the doorman on our way across the floor. He gave me a thumbs-up.

Within seconds, we were in the elevator, our hands and mouths all over each other. I pressed Riley against the wall and planted kisses along her neck. She rolled her head back and pushed her hips against me. I was on fire, my skin and muscles burning with delirious need.

The steps we took back to the apartment happened as if on a merry-go-round. We spun out of the elevator and down the hall. The door gave against our combined weight, and we tumbled into the foyer.

I managed to kick the door shut and then we were on the floor. It was cold and hard, but I didn’t care. I pulled Riley on top of me and kissed her with all the love and pain inside me. Her fingers fumbled at my buttons while I pushed her dress up. I found the fabric of her panties and ripped them off. She hissed from shock and pain, but the parted lips and flushed cheeks that followed told me she loved every part of what was happening.

Tossing the shreds that were Riley’s underwear to the floor, I pulled her forward and onto me. Our tongues lapped at each other’s, hungry and desperate for the other’s taste. Riley pushed her hand between our bodies and undid my belt buckle. I helped her with a quick unzipping of my pants.

My cock pushed its way out through the slit in my boxers, already hard and leaking pre-cum. It slid along Riley’s inner thigh and jerked at the nearby heat coming from her opening. Riley leaned back, making her hips grind against mine. Desire pulsed in my every cell.

“I’ve missed this so much,” I rasped in between my quick, staccato breaths.

“Me too.” She leaned down and kissed me again before sitting upright, gazing down at me, love shining in her eyes. I grasped the base of my dick and waited for her to make the next move, giving her time to decide if this was truly what she wanted. Long seconds passed before she lifted her hips and sank down on me, our eyes locked as our bodies became one.

My cock pierced her, disappearing inside of that perfect, silky channel. Riley rolled her shoulders back and moaned low as she lowered herself the rest of the way down. She slowly rocked back and forth, her fingers flexing against my shoulders.

“That’s right, baby,” I whispered. “Ride me. Ride me like you’re mine.”

“I am,” she gasped.

In this position, I had free access to her sweet body and was able to touch her all I wanted. Her face, her throat, her breasts, her tiny waist. I gripped her hips, helping her move, but not rushing her. Letting her take the lead.

I groaned as her pussy squeezed my cock, and pleasure shot along my shaft and up into my abs. With each new thrust, my balls constricted more, till they became full to the bursting point, ready to explode.