I leaned back in my desk chair and stretched my arms above my head. The bunched-up muscles in my shoulders groaned in relief. It was almost time for my morning break. I’d hit the building’s gym for thirty minutes, shower, and have just enough time to make it to the eleven o’clock meeting.
I’d been killing it like a motherfucker the last few weeks. I could work like no one else I knew, but this month had been one of the most productive ones of my life. With no women to distract me and the fights outside of Enigma not enticing me anymore, all I had left was work. Which was great. I’d signed two new deals this month. Employee productivity in the New York office was going through the roof. With me around nonstop to provide my staff with attention, everyone was working harder and delivering better results.
Things were ideal. When I was working, that was. Nights were another matter entirely. I’d developed a new schedule in order to deal with them. After leaving the office, I’d hit the gym again and push myself to the brink of exhaustion. Then I’d have dinner, take a shower, and hit my bed. If I was lucky, I’d fall right asleep.
Most of the time, I wasn’t that fortunate. I’d end up lying awake for hours, going over everything that happened between Riley and me. That invariably led to me going over everything that happened between me and every single other woman in my life, my mother included.
That train of thought was a dead end. Because no matter how hard I tried, I still couldn’t see a way out. I’d done some real damage in my time, but what was done was done. I couldn’t change now. Fuck, I wouldn’t know where to begin. I tried calling my mother several times over the last weeks, but I always hung up before she answered.
Wanting to do the right thing was one thing. Actually doing it was a whole other matter entirely.
With a huff, I started to loosen my tie and stand up. Shouting from outside my closed door made me pause.
“You can’t go in there!” the familiar voice of my front desk secretary said.
The door flew open, and Riley entered my office. My hand froze on my tie. It was like a dream, having her appear like this. She looked almost wild. Like she’d just stepped out of one of my fantasies. Her hair was loose and slightly tangled, her cheeks red and her eyes flashing with intensity. She came to an abrupt halt, crossed her arms and stared me down.
Janice ran in after her. “I’m sorry, Mr. Fields. I told her she couldn’t come in without an appointment.”
I held my palm up to calm the situation. “It’s all right. Thank you. She can come in.”
Janice gulped air like a fish. She must have chased Riley down the entire main hallway. “Yes, sir,” she gasped, before leaving.
The door clicked closed. Riley and I both remained where we were, staring each other down. I’d sent Kenneth on errands a couple hours ago. It would be at least another hour before he returned. For the time being, Riley and I were all alone.
“Hello,” I said.
Her chin lifted, the defiance in the movement clear. “So, what’s up with this list I heard about? And you beating up innocent people outside of Enigma?”
Her words were a sucker punch. I opened my mouth to answer, but only air escaped. I didn’t know what surprised me more, the fact that Riley knew about my secrets, or the fact that she’d just barged into my office like a total badass. The girl I first met weeks ago would never have done something like this.
“Hello to you too,” I answered, in an attempt to kill time while I figured out how best to approach what was happening.
Riley rolled her eyes. “You’re sick. Really. You need to be in therapy, Xavier. Or an insane asylum.”
“I probably do.” Her arms fell down at her sides, and she looked at me in surprise. “I know I’m a fucked-up bastard. Did you come over here just to tell me that?”
Her eyelashes rapidly fluttered in that way they sometimes did when she was aroused. Except right now, she wasn’t turned on. Right now, she was furious. And we could address that in a moment, but first, we needed to get some things straight.
“Where did you hear these rumors?” I demanded.
“Are they rumors or are they the truth?”
“Answer my question,” I growled, quickly crossing the floor and closing the distance between us. The speed at which I came at Riley made her eyes widen in surprise. She jerked back slightly but didn’t step away.
“Where did you hear these things?” I asked.
“You’re dodging the question,” she breathed, her hot exhales hitting my neck. “Is what I heard true or not true?”
“It was Seth, wasn’t it?” My vision blurred from the quick anger that hit me. “Fuck!” That smarmy little weasel. I should have known years ago that he would one day do something like this. He didn’t have the same things at stake as Davis, Julian, and I did. With him getting his money from his mommy and daddy, he didn’t have real life issues to worry about. The revelation of our list wouldn’t affect him the same way it would the rest of us.
If Seth had told Riley about the list and my fights, it was unlikely his blabbing ended there. Who knew who else the prick was revealing information to?
This was bad. Really bad.
“I’m not here about Seth,” Riley said. “I’m here to see you.”
I turned and looked back at her. The anger in her face was gone, but what was there now was even harder to look at. Her eyes brimmed with sadness, disappointment… and pity.
“Riley,” I said, my voice cracking over her name.
I couldn’t go on. There was nothing else to say. What could I tell her? That I was sorry? I wasn’t.
“So, it’s true. You have a list of women you’ve had sex with, and you pick fights.”
“I only fight men who deserve it. Men who are putting the girls at the club at risk.”
“And what about the girls you put on the list?” Her lower lip trembled. “Do you only add girls who deserve it?”
“They’re not forced,” I quickly said. “It’s just a list of contacts, like Facebook or LinkedIn.”
Riley barked out a dry laugh. “If you honestly believe that, then I feel sorry for you, Xavier Fields. Really, really sorry.”
Her eyes brimmed with tears. I ached to reach up and brush them away, but I couldn’t do that. It wasn’t my place. It might have been what I wanted to do in the moment, but in the long run, it wouldn’t be right.