The List

The space was huge, its walls filled with paintings that were as tall as people. I’d never been to an art show that was so packed. I had to turn sideways and shuffle my way through the crowd. The chances of my finding Seth in here were extremely low.

Hunkering down in a corner, I pulled my phone out, thinking I’d text to see where he was. Before I could do that, someone touched my arm.

“Hey.”

I looked up to see Seth standing just a few inches away.

“Hi!” I gave him a smile, surprisingly relieved to see him. “I didn’t think I would find you in here. It’s so packed.”

He rolled his eyes. “I know. And the art’s so lame.”

“Is it?” I frowned. “I thought you knew the artist.”

“Yeah, I do.” He tossed back his champagne. “And she’s stuck-up like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Ah.” I clutched my glass tighter. I would have liked to check out some of the work, but the closest painting was yards away, and the room packed with people.

“You wanna get out of here? Go grab a drink somewhere?”

“Sure.”

“Cool.”

He took my champagne from me and set both flutes on a nearby shelf, then offered me his arm. I looped my hand around it and let him lead me back to the elevator. Already, I was feeling disappointed. If Seth didn’t like tonight’s paintings or artist, why had he invited me to the opening?

“Thank God,” he said after we entered the elevator. He lifted the collar of his shirt and fanned some air into his face. “It was stuffy in there.”

“Yeah, it was.”

Being away from the gallery was actually welcome. With the noise and bodies gone, I realized just how much I didn’t want to be there.

“You hungry?” Seth asked. “There’s a great pub nearby.”

My stomach growled, and we both laughed. “Yeah. I guess I am.”

“Let’s go.”

Once outside, we took a left and went east. My nervousness had returned, and I searched for something to say. Something that had nothing to do with Xavier, the one thing Seth and I had in common.

Maybe Ann-Marie had been wrong. It could be I wasn’t ready to date at all. It took me a year to get over Jesse. My relationship with Xavier, though much, much shorter, had been more intense than any I’d ever had. It would be a long time before I felt fully free of him.

“I took my new yacht out yesterday,” Seth said, interrupting the silence.

“Oh, great.” I smiled, relieved he’d found something to talk about. I asked him a few questions about sailing, and that was all he needed. We spent the walk to the bar talking about what kind of weather makes good sailing conditions and about the pros and cons of competing.

At the bar, we settled down at a table in the middle of the space. The whole atmosphere reminded me a lot of the pub I worked at, making me wonder if Seth favored these kinds of places.

Just as we sat down, two large groups came in and swarmed the place. Seth kept talking about his yacht, but at that point, I was starting to zone out. After a few minutes of no waiter appearing, he looked around in hesitation. “Jesus, what’s up with this place? What does it take to get some service?”

“They’re pretty busy,” I offered.

“That’s no excuse. It’s their job to get over here and take our order. You’d think someone working for tips would aim to please. Am I right?”

I gave a noncommittal grunt as an answer. Had Seth forgotten that I waited tables myself?

“I need a cigarette,” he sighed. “Come out with me.”

“Maybe I should wait here. We’ll probably lose our table if we both go.”

“Fuck it,” he snarled. “This place sucks. We’ll go somewhere else.”

“Uh… okay.”

Seth seemed oblivious to my hesitation, standing up and striding toward the door. I followed at a slower pace. My stomach was beginning to knot. I couldn’t tell if it was just my original hesitation about coming out tonight or if it had to do with something else. Like the man I was out with. Seth hadn’t once asked me a question about myself, and this was the second place he’d decided he wanted to leave after just a few minutes.

That emergency text to Ann-Marie was looking pretty tantalizing right about now.

I found Seth outside, smoking a cigarette by the curb. He caught sight of me and smiled. “I like that dress.”

“Thanks.” I self-consciously smoothed the front down.

“Cigarette?”

“No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”

He took another puff, and I tried to think of something to say again as we stood on the sidewalk. Behind us, a laughing group of friends went into the bar we’d just vacated.

“I know what,” Seth said. “My place is only ten blocks from here. Let’s go back there. I can have the doorman bring us dinner. Plus, I have a pool table.”

He grinned at me around his cigarette and the knots in my stomach tightened so hard it felt like I was about to double over from pain. I quickly searched for an excuse, but my brain was full of fog. I was no good in these situations. Dodging unwanted offers wasn’t my forte. I didn’t even know how to do it in a polite way.

“What do you say?” Seth asked.

“Just for dinner,” I found myself saying.

“Cool. I’ll call a car.”

He tossed his cigarette into the street and pulled his phone out. I glared at the smoking litter and extracted my cell from my purse. Twenty minutes with Seth and I knew that I had no need to spend even one more with him. My heart pounding away, I casually sent a text to Ann-Marie.

SOS.

The distress signal sent, I put my phone away and looked back toward Seth. He’d lit another cigarette, and the cloud of smoke wafted in my direction. I took a step back to escape it, and Seth laughed.

“Sorry,” he said, stepping forward and waving the smoke away from me.

“I appreciate the apology,” I muttered with a small cough.

In my purse, my phone began to blare. I looked down at it and feigned surprise. “Oh, sorry. Let me just see who that is.” Still not looking at Seth — if I did, I was afraid I’d break character — I pulled the phone back out. “Hello?”

“Riley?” Ann-Marie shrieked. “Oh my God, I need you to come home right now! My dad just called and… and… Grandma passed.” A loud, fake sob hit my ears. I’d have to remember to congratulate my roommate later for her A-plus acting.

I turned away from Seth and pressed the phone tighter against my face. “Are you serious? Oh my God. Okay, I’m on my way. I’m so sorry. It will be okay.”

“I don’t know,” she wailed, her cry crescendoing. “I just don’t know if it will.”

“Hold on. I’m leaving now.” I hung up before she could start crying again. Another second of her fake moaning, and Seth might hear and suspect something was going on.

“Who was that?” Seth asked from behind me.

I pivoted on my heel and faced him. “It was my roommate. Her grandma just died. I’m really sorry, but I have to go home. She’s really upset.”

“Are you sure?”

I stared at him, blinking and not sure what to say to that.

Seth shook his head. “Never mind. We’ll get together another time.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.

“Tomorrow?”