The List

My father winced, though it seemed not entirely authentic. “So, that’s where we are, is it?”


“You could say so.”

“What’s with this Sansabri charade?” His voice was stern no matter how casual he was attempting to sound. A man of his profession should be better at passive interrogation.

“Think about it. It’ll come to you.” Nothing escaped him. He was toying with me.

“Well, just from observation I’d say that you went to a great deal of trouble to get next to the family without our knowing about it, although I’d say you wanted to get discovered. If you didn’t, you’d have stayed in Mexico. Second, I’m wondering why you felt the need for stealth. We’re your family, and you belong with us. If I’d known where you were, I’d have come looking for you long ago.”

“Oh, really?” My sarcasm was thick.

He sat forward in his chair. “Ford, it all happened in the space of an afternoon. You got out of the institution and were on the run. We knew they would come looking for you at home first. We had to be accounted for, so the only person who could take you was Bernie. In fact, he volunteered, and we trusted him implicitly. There was no other choice. I set up a quick route to get money to you, and we didn’t have the time to work out contingencies. I’m guessing when he died, you were without funds. All you had to do was get word to me.”

“Sure, right. You gave me a big calling card with instructions how to do that without getting picked up by the Federales, right?”

He sighed and leaned back again. “I guess you had a tough time of it, son. I’m sorry for that and yet in a way, you had to go through that. It wasn’t your fault. Your mother and I did a piss poor job of preparing you for life outside our neat, safe little circle.”

“Well, at least we can agree to that,” I stated. “You had enough presence of mind to lock me up, didn’t you?”

His eyes narrowed. “Hey. You made choices that took that out of my hands. That was the judge’s doing.”

“And you mean to tell me, given the LaViere name and fortune, you couldn’t buy my way out? Get off your moral high horse and be real, Father. You simply didn’t give a shit!”

“Not true! Damnit, no, I wasn’t the best parent. I admit that. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t care. It’s two different things. I loved and still love you, as does your mother. She asks me about you all the time. I’d already screwed up so bad and had no idea how to undo it. All I could think of was keeping everyone safe. I didn’t want you institutionalized again.”

“Keep the big crazy kid away from the sweet innocent babes, is that how it went down?” My voice held a deep bitterness. My phone dinged then, and I looked down to see a message from Liane: Breath and keep your dignity.

Her abilities were unbelievable.

“So what changed?” he was asking.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, something has changed. One day you’re spying on us from beneath tree branches and the next you’re getting your birth certificate and driver’s license — coming out, so to speak. What prompted this sudden change of heart?”

“You’ll meet her.”

He slapped his thigh then. “You’re my son, there’s no doubt about that. It’s always a woman that brings us to our knees.”

I let his remark pass. I wouldn’t play his game. We drank in silence, each contemplating which move would protect our queen.

“Will you come down to dinner? Come see your mother and the twins?”

“Not yet.”

Sadness crept into his eyes, but he wiped it away quickly. “I see. Want this kept quiet?”

“I do.”

“I won’t be able to keep it from her forever. She doesn’t deserve that, Ford.”

“I go by Hawk.”

“Hawk, then.” He smiled. “You always did want to be one, as I remember. So how long do I have to keep quiet?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“She must be damned special.”

I felt her mental hug. “You have no idea.”

“Alright, have it your way. I’ll keep this between us for now, but it won’t be forever. Your mother deserves to know you’re safe. It killed a part of her when you left. Believe that or not, it’s your choice. I’m the bastard in all this, son. Give her the love she remembers from you. You two used to be pretty close, as I recall.”

“You leaving now?” I suggested, mockery dripping from my voice.

He stood and walked out the door. There were no parting words.

My hand was shaking a bit when he left. I hadn’t been prepared for that. I’d wanted it to be better rehearsed, set on my terms, not his. I would never underestimate him again. I tapped Liane’s number, and she answered on the first ring.

“I knew you were calling,” she said. “I already had the phone in my hand.”

I nodded. “I came home to find my father in my living room. He’d had people watching for me, and someone called him when I applied for a replacement birth certificate.”

“You didn’t see that coming?” she asked, and I was a bit embarrassed.

“No, I guess I was thinking more about you and my businesses than what traps would be sprung.”

“So, it’s over? You’ll go over and make up?” she asked, hope alive in her words.

“What do you think?” I tried to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, but it was still dripping about the room.

“I think you’re forgetting I’m on your side, Hawk.”

I scrubbed my face with my hands. “You’re right, I’m sorry. He made quite an impact on me. It’s been a long time.”

“So, you asked for some time, I take it?”

“Yes.”

“Want me to go with you, when the time comes?”

“Of course.”

“Will you come see me tonight? I’d like to make you dinner.”

“I’d love to. I’ve promised Diablo a run, then I’ll shower and be over. What can I bring?”

“Why don’t you stop by the bakery and bring a big, thick humble pie?”

It took me a second to catch on. At first, I thought it was a British thing. “Very funny.”

“I’ll bet you’re smiling.”

“Yes, you’re right.”

“Good, then skip the pie, and I’ll have dinner waiting.”

The line went silent. I loved the simplicity with which we communicated. She displayed no artifice, no agenda but was simple and direct. I loved that woman beyond belief.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN


Liane


I waited for Hawk wearing my favorite jeans and a soft, pearl-pink sweater. It was a good color for me, contrasting with my hair. I knew it made me look cuddly. I was right. He was no more in the door than he had his arms wrapped around me. I made comfort food for dinner. Everything I could do to lessen the blow of the day would be good for him.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, his eyes mirroring the compliment.

“Thank you, but I’m more about getting you through today.” I kissed him, then ran my hand down the muscles in his forearm. I tried not to get too close because I knew my touch would inflame him and I wouldn’t sleep with him until we were married.