“We’re eating on the patio. I think it’s still warm enough.”
He nodded and went outside while I gathered up the plates with dinner. I’d made roast beef with baby potatoes, carrots, pearl onions and gravy. I had a dish of baked macaroni and cheese, and there was chocolate cake with chocolate cream frosting for dessert.
“Fit for a king,” he declared, and that made me proud. I’d only ever cooked for Dad before, and it was nice to have a reason to make a full meal. “C’mere,” he said and pulled me down onto his lap and kissed me. He kept his arms around me in a hug, and the warmth felt wonderful. “So, how was your day?”
“Nothing very interesting. It felt good to cook for you. I really enjoyed that. Mostly I was worried about you.”
“Hmmmm…” he said and kissed me again.
“Want to talk about it?”
“Not too much to talk about. He wants me to come down and see Mother, Mark and Marga.”
“Huh.”
“What?”
“You’ve never mentioned their names before. Have you decided to go?”
He kissed the side of my face, brushing the hair back from my temple. “Well, I’ve got a pretty strong incentive to do so, wouldn’t you say?”
“I don’t know how strong I am, but I’m powerful with love.”
“That’s a nice way to put it, Liane. You always have such a nice way of putting things.” He was silent for a few minutes and then said, “I have an idea.”
“What’s that?”
“What if I were to invite you to take a trip with me for the week? You can have a separate room, no problem, but I’d like to spend some dedicated time with you alone. I know I have some changes in store and to be really honest, right now I don’t have a damn clue how to go about it. If I decide to see the family, I’d like to have some idea of how to behave. Having you in my life will go a long way toward that.”
“I have to work, Hawk.”
“No, you don’t. Quit your job. I’ve got plenty, and it will all be yours before long anyway.”
I stiffened. “That’s not who I am. I pay my own way. I may not make as much as you do, and my work may not seem important to you, but it is to me.”
“Huh. Do you know that I just realized I don’t have a clue what you do?” He seemed stunned.
“That’s because you never asked. I guess you thought I just donated my time at the Y.”
“I’m an ass. Tell me what you do.”
“I’m a zoologist at the Louisville Zoo.”
He stared down at me. “No kidding? How did you happen along that path?”
“I’ve always had a kinship with animals and plants. Dad said he didn’t care what I studied at college as long as I graduated, so I took something I liked. I made good grades, and the zoo here had an opening. There I was… right place at the right time.”
“Would you show me what you do there sometime?”
“Of course! I also write grants, mostly for the zoo or for organizations that focus on preserving wildlife.”
“My God,” he said. “Who’d ever thought I’d fall for a tree hugger?”
I playfully slapped him, and we both laughed. “Be careful — trees are alive and can hear you, you know. You may not want to alienate them all at once.”
Hawk responded by tickling me until I screamed. “So, you can’t take a week off? Not even for me?”
“I need to give them a little more notice than that. Anyway, don’t you think we should straighten out this stuff with your family first, then you can ask Dad?”
“You’re right. I’d much rather have you in the same room if we go away. Where would you like to go on our honeymoon?”
I hugged him tighter. “Oh, my… haven’t given that any thought. How about you?”
He looked thoughtful for a moment and then suggested, “How about Italy?”
I smushed up my nose. “Too old and smelly. Lots of bodies in the canals and catacombs.”
“Okay, then… how about China?”
“Ewwww... no, thank you.” Inspiration struck. “I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. Any possibility?”
“Of course! I suppose you’ll want to be among the wildlife?”
I nodded. “Would you mind?”
“As long as I can stay with you and you’re beneath me at night, I’ll sleep in an ice hotel in the Artic.”
“Huh. Never thought of that one. It’s a possibility,” I teased, only to be tickled again.
I slid off his lap and carried dishes into the kitchen. Hawk tried to help, but I took his hands and put them at my waist. “I can get these. It’s a small kitchen. I’d like you to run along now and get some sleep. You look exhausted and tomorrow, I’ll drive up, and we’ll go see your family together. We’ll get it over with. What do you say?”
Hawk sort of rolled his head back, drawing in a deep breath. “You’re determined on this, aren’t you?”
“I am.”
“Are you always going to be this stubborn?”
“If it comes to your welfare, yes.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow then. Don’t get all dolled up. Mother will likely be in jodhpurs and mucking boots.” He gave me a kiss, and I knew he wanted more, but I pushed him toward the door.
“Goodnight. See you tomorrow.”
Hawk
I barely slept that night. All the nightmares of my childhood came back in one flickering silent movie that kept playing over and over in my head. I tried to get up and chase them away by turning on lights and the television, but it was no use. They were determined to rise to the surface.
It was then that a thought occurred to me. I grabbed my phone and texted Liane: You’re doing this, aren’t you?
Liane: Yes, it’s for your own good.
Me: It doesn’t feel good.
Liane: You need to let them surface and tomorrow you can set them aside forever.
Me: You’re really sure about this?
Liane: Yes, you trust me, remember?
Me: I’m trying to. This is hell.
Liane: Hell always beckons before the light triumphs.
I couldn’t argue with that logic. I’d lived that tale over and over.
Me: I need to sleep.
Liane: Okay, I’ll stop. Sweeter dreams.
The sun must have risen earlier that next morning because I barely remember lying in bed before it was glaring into my swollen eyes. I washed my eyes with cold water before stepping into the steaming shower. I dressed with care; not fancy, but in well-fit clothing that I knew Mother would approve of. Although they weren’t expecting me, I knew I had to make a good impression.
Liane showed up shortly after I poured my coffee and I made a hot tea for her too. It wasn’t too much trouble to stock tea for the Keurig, after all. We sat in silence and watched the trees swaying in the morning breeze. It seemed to give me some courage, as did the tiny hand that was in my palm at the moment. We finished eventually. I sighed and stood up, and we walked out the door and got into my car. We drove the few thousand feet to the drive of Carlos Acres and pulled up before my parents’ house.