He had agreed to the marriage because Belle asked often, and agreed they'd figure out a middle ground. His gut had never liked his decision, and he had no more arguments with himself. Belle deserved someone who could love her unconditionally.
Belle continued, "It's going to be a beautiful affair, attended by senators."
Colt set his jaw. Belle was always good to have at his side, but Vicki made his heart stir in ways he hadn't thought possible. He'd walked around half dead for years, and now he felt complete. This was his home.
"Everyone gets cold feet." Belle shrugged. "It's not a big deal. Don't worry about this."
"Can we go on the patio?" He placed his hands in his pockets. He'd prefer no one overheard this conversation. Belle deserved someone who thought of her as his home and belonged in his world. She stared at him without a word. Heat rose in his face. He'd do the right thing.
"Sure." Belle smiled like she'd won their argument and assumed he'd make it up to her. His shoulders slumped, as he had to tell her the truth now.
She followed him to the door, and said, "We should go to bed, honey, and we'll discuss it tomorrow."
He turned to meet her eyes and then shook his head. Marriage was supposed to be the start of a family, and the petite blonde had brought laughter back into his life. Neither he nor Belle were prepared to compromise on the life they wanted once the military ended. She had to know that.
As he held the door for her, Belle squeezed his arm as she passed and then took a seat. Then she told him, "You're moody tonight. In Washington, I brokered a major deal with two competing weapons manufacturers to produce a prototype at no upfront cost, with specs desired from the army corps of engineers."
"That's great." Colt couldn't sit, so he paced in front as he stared hard at her. His heart raced as he prayed he didn't hurt Belle too much. "I'm happy your life in D.C. is on the move. You want that."
"We want that." She leaned forward like she wanted to take his hands and ask him to sit. He leaned away and tugged his fingers free. Her eyebrow arched, and she shrugged. "Come sit with me."
He glanced at the seat. Perhaps they should both sit. He had no idea how Belle would react to what he had to say. Finally he slid into the seat across from her and folded his hands. "I don't think we should get married, Belle. Our lives are too different."
Belle's face went white. "Collins, doubts are normal before a wedding. Let's calm down. I won't make you put on a suit and tie, if that's the big worry."
She referred to him with his last name, like they were in the military still. It was another glaring difference between Belle and Vicki. It felt like steam rose through him. He brushed his hands on his face and covered his mouth for a moment. Belle had prepared herself for a battle. He'd seen her do this before. She was a great friend to him. In another life, he'd have agreed, but he'd spend his life as he'd spent the last few years, half dead. "Belle, our marriage would never have worked. When we were planning a mission, we always had an exit strategy in place. We discussed how to survive, but I don't want my life to be about survival and getting to the top. Clara deserves to grow up happy, secure, and loved."
"Plenty of families are happy in the D.C. area, Colt. Why won't you consider her education a benefit for moving?"
His entire body stilled. Clara deserved the life he could provide her, where the earth and the oranges gave her a sense of belonging. He stared out into the orange groves. "This place is my home. It's where I belong."
Belle's voice softened. "Is this about Victoria?"
Vicki Morgan was always the dream girl, but he wasn't making this decision based on a fantasy. Then his mind transformed as he stared at Belle, and for a second, he saw Vicki's soft lips waiting for his kiss. His entire gut tightened as his vision cleared. "Belle, I'm not leaving my farm, and I'm intending to add more land. My life is here in Florida, and I've diversified into other agricultural investments throughout the South. Collins are farmers, and it's my duty to be here."
"You were a soldier too, Collins."
Now he preferred to be simply Colt and not his last name. "My daughter deserves a full-time father, and life here is stable. Belle, we're not good for each other. You need to be in Washington, fighting for a cause, or running a boardroom in your own company. You're a born leader."
Belle's eyes flickered and seemed glassy. His entire body froze as he prepared himself for her to cry. Instead she tightened her shoulders and then stared hard at him. "It's late. You're tired, and that medication your doctor prescribed sometimes gives you bad dreams. Don't let post-traumatic stress of the war ruin our future, Collins. Let's sleep on it and in the morning talk like rational people."
How he'd returned from the Marines was another reason he needed the comfort of home and his family. Most of the men who saw what he did didn't have half of what he had. He crossed his arms. Her lack of accusation didn't sit right in his stomach. "We can talk again tomorrow, but the wedding is off, Belle."
"It's the middle of the night, Collins," Belle argued as she stood.
She'd always been a fighter. Colt stood as well. "Fine. In the morning, we'll talk, and then I'll drive you to the airport or you can call a taxi. Flights leave early."
"You love me," Belle whispered, and her words carried on the wind. "And I love you. We'll figure it out as a team. We're the best team, and you know it."
No, they weren't. He would screw up his life. If he married Belle, he'd make everything worse. They both deserved a life where people loved them and were willing to compromise on major issues. They had worked best when they were on the same team, but that wasn't now. He turned on his heels and walked to another part of the house to open a door. "There is an extra bedroom next to mine."
As he held open the door for her, Belle said, "Collins, we're not done."
Yes, they were. He locked the doors behind them and stared into his quiet house. Vicki and Clara were both sleeping here too, and he'd have to keep them safe. He waited for Belle to go into her room, and then he turned off all the lights and went to his room in the dark.
As he neared his bed, he made decisions. He'd not marry Belle. He'd not marry Vicki either. He was better off alone as he rebuilt the farm the hurricane damaged. Then he'd have to find a way to live with himself on how he settled things with the women in his life.
CHAPTER TWELVE
In the middle of the night, Vicki woke up to a yell. She ran her hand through her knotted hair and realized it was Colt again. She swallowed and heard the plea in his voice, again, as he said, "Vicki."
Last time, that hadn't happened. She blinked and then stood up. She found a pair of Colt's boxer shorts for decency, and ran out of her room.
As she ran against the cold wood into the hall, she heard the other bedroom door click open. She slowed down her race, and her gaze met Belle's.