“I will never understand a parent never acknowledging his child.”
There was a moment of silence between us as I stared straight ahead at the people who surrounded the area. The laughter of children filled the air, couples sitting on their blankets enjoying a picnic, and friends just hanging out enjoying the beautiful day.
“I want to meet her, Jill. I need to meet my daughter.”
I swallowed hard, finding it difficult to say the words. “I’ll set it up.”
“Thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.”
“Where’s Mom?” I asked.
“She flew back to Seattle this morning. I told her that I had some business to attend to while I was here. Things aren’t good with us.”
Bringing my knees to my chest, I spoke, “They never were.”
My father placed his hand on my knee and I turned my head and looked at him. What I saw was a broken man. A man who didn’t know what to do anymore. A man who looked lost and was desperately trying to find his way back home. The words Kristen said to me kept replaying over and over in my head. “Forgiveness gives you strength and forgiveness will set you free.” Forgiveness was something I shouldn’t have feared and it was time to let that fear go. If I was going to continue to find myself, I had no choice. Ano was right; I needed to face and come to terms with what I had done and it started with my father.
“I forgive you, Dad.” I laid my head on his shoulder.
He leaned his head on mine. “Thank you, Jill. You are and will always be my little girl. No matter where life takes you, I’ll always love you.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Drew
I drove to the Hamptons and rented a boat for the day. This was something I wanted to do with Jillian and had planned on asking her, but in light of the current circumstances, I went alone. My heart ached and I thought about her every second. I was more than broken-hearted. I was pissed. Pissed at myself for moving too fast and pissed at her for not seeing that I could be a part of her self-journey.
As I sailed across the ocean, taking in the warmth of the breeze that swept across my face, I reflected on my life. Maybe this was karma for leaving Marley at the altar all those years ago. Maybe it was payback for all the women who wanted more from me that I cut loose and left broken. I’d never been hurt before, and now, I felt what all those women had felt. I’d finally found true love, even though I wasn’t looking for it, and she made it clear that she didn’t feel the same way. This was definitely karma biting me in the ass ten times over for my past behavior with women. How the fuck was I going to get over her? I didn’t know how because I never had to before. She consumed me and the need to be with her was too strong for me to move on. I didn’t want to move on. I’d never find someone like Jillian again. She was my one chance and now, my chance was gone.
As I pulled in and docked the boat, I heard someone calling my name.
“Drew!” Liam shouted from a couple boats over.
Turning around, I saw him, Avery, Oliver, and Delilah waving at me.
“Hey.” I nodded as I walked over to him and Oliver and we shook hands.
“What are you doing here, bro?” Liam asked.
“I decided to go out on the boat for a while. Hi, Avery, Delilah.” I gave them each a hug.
“Hi, Drew. It’s good to see you.”
Looking over my shoulder, Liam spoke, “Where’s Jillian?”
The look on my face must have said it all because, instantly, the smile that was on Liam’s face quickly dissipated.
“She didn’t come.”
“Hey, Avery and Delilah want to go shopping, so why don’t you, me, and Oliver go hit up a bar for a couple of drinks and maybe some burgers,” Liam spoke.
“Sounds like a plan to me.” Oliver grinned.
Did I really want company right now? No, because they knew something was wrong and I’d be forced to talk about Jillian with them. Hell, maybe talking about her with someone would make me feel a little better.
“Sure. Sounds good.”
****
The three of us took a seat at a table out on the patio of a place called Surf. As soon as our waitress brought over our drinks, the questions started rolling in.
“So what happened?” Liam asked.
“With?” I took a sip of my scotch.
“Jillian?” His brow arched.
I took in a sharp breath. “She doesn’t feel the same way about me as I do her.”
“Are you sure about that?” Oliver asked.
“Bullshit!” Liam exclaimed as he sipped on his drink. “I’ve seen the two of you together and I know the look.”
“The look?”
“The one that says ‘I’m so into him.’” Liam grinned.
“What?” Oliver asked as he cocked his head at his brother. “Are you some kind of woman expert now?”
“I always have been, dear brother. It’s the same look Delilah always has with you and it’s the look that Avery gets when she’s with me.” He winked.
Oliver rolled his eyes. “Drew, did she tell you that she didn’t feel the same way?”
“She told me I was her friend and nothing more.” I finished off my scotch.