The Epic Crush of Genie Lo



The bottom had just dropped out of this conversation. Not that it was a sparkler to begin with, but now it was fully pear-shaped.

“Other yaoguai?” Quentin said slowly. “What other yaoguai? You mean the Demon King of Confusion?”

“That weakling? I guess he’s around somewhere, too, but I meant the other yaoguai coming to Earth,” Tawny Lion said, as if it were common knowledge. “I’m talking about your old friends from your little road trip.”

The look on Quentin’s face told me I could start freaking out any time now. I was way ahead of him. The sinking feeling that had been in my stomach since the beginning of this encounter was now the size of an iceberg.

“Oh dear,” Tawny Lion said. “I thought you knew. Because there are some real bad characters in that bunch. I wouldn’t want to be a human caught in their path. Can you say bloodbath?” The demon chuckled at the thought.

“Quentin?” I said, unsure of what to do.

He didn’t answer. He was lost in thought, moving his lips silently over a number of possible futures, all of which appeared to be very, very bad.

“See, that’s what I’m talking about,” Tawny Lion said to me. “Check out the monkey’s face! That’s how you can tell I’m an okay guy. Most other demons take shortcuts on the path to power by eating anyone they think will give them the slightest leg up.”

“I’ve got a different strategy,” he went on, obviously fishing for the follow-up question.

I fell for the bait. “Which is?”

Tawny Lion smiled. “My shortcut is that I’m going to steal the Ruyi Jingu Bang.”



He made a quick signal, and the six men in the back pounced on Quentin.

“Barrier,” Tawny Lion said, spreading his hands out.

The shop snapped in two. Not physically. But I could feel a wall slam down, separating me and Tawny Lion from Quentin and the others. I could still see them, but the sound of their scuffle was muted by half.

“Bind,” Tawny Lion added.

My legs and arms jerked together, and I stood up so straight it hurt, a fresh recruit ordered to attention by a drill sergeant. I couldn’t move.

“Genie!” Quentin shouted. The other men weren’t brawling with him; they were focusing solely on containment. Three of them were grappling him physically, and the others were standing back to channel a similar binding spell, muttering the command over and over to hold him down. Between all six, they were succeeding.

The invisible constriction around me tightened, and I cried out in pain.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Tawny Lion said. “I know who you are, and that’s not even close to causing you harm.”

He leaned in, secretive. “I didn’t track down the monkey’s aura, you know. I followed yours. The original feud between me and Sun Wukong started because I tried to take the Ruyi Jingu Bang once before. Why do you think he hates me beyond all proportion?”

I strained against the bindings, hoping to find more room to breathe. “I thought—it was because—you’re a pompous piece of trash.”

Tawny Lion laughed. “Well get used to it. This pompous piece of trash is going to be your new master now. Whoever controls the staff of the Monkey King controls enough power to take Heaven by force. Once I figure out a way to strip that pesky human form from you, I’ll have the gods kissing my feet.”

The demon’s attention turned away from me to someone I’d forgotten about the whole time.

“You know what?” Tawny Lion said. He walked over to the counter and bent down behind it. “Given how much I have to celebrate, I think I’m going to cheat on my diet a little.”

He reappeared holding the girl who had been working the register. She dangled limply in his arms. Her bandana had fallen off and tresses of wavy red hair covered her face.

I expended the last of my air. “But you said you didn’t eat—”

“I lied. I’m a lion, you fool. Did you think I was a frugivore?”

Tawny Lion cha-cha’ed with the girl’s unconscious body out to the center of the room, swaying his hips to the radio song trickling through the barrier’s muting effect. He dipped her toward me and her head lolled back, her pupils dilated and unseeing.

“Ah,” he said, “This one has a surprising amount of spiritual energy. I’d bet she has excellent gongfu. A talented artist, maybe? She looks like the type.”

He sniffed her exposed neck. “Great bouquet, too. Xuanzangesque, you might say.”

I thrashed back and forth, desperately hoping that I could wriggle free by sheer oscillating force.

Come on! I shrieked inwardly at myself, wishing more than anything that I hadn’t treated Quentin’s catalog of powers so lightly before. Strength, magic, kick in! PLEASE!

The demon grasped the girl by her shoulders. He opened his jaws wide, exposing a pink, ridged throat and rows of pointed carnivore’s teeth. His mouth kept impossibly distending, reaching an angle so obtuse he resembled a lamprey more than a cat. He drew her head into his bite radius, working his lips forward as if he meant to crunch the top half of her skull off in one try, like a child impatient to get at the bubblegum in the center of a lollipop.



“Da ge!” shouted one of the men in the back. “The monkey!”

Quentin had slipped free. He hurled himself at the invisible wall between us. A loud whump rattled the store as his shoulder made contact—a hockey player crashing into the Plexiglas.

The barrier held, but Tawny Lion stumbled. I felt the constriction around me loosen.

The demon quickly drew his mouth away, unraveling his jaws from the girl’s head with the insulted air of someone whose phone had rung during dinner. He threw her into the nearest chair, where she sprawled out, unharmed for the moment. I squeezed my elbows outward with all my might and felt the magic give.

“One thing, you idiots!” he yelled, his words distorted and jowly from speaking before his mouth shrunk fully back to normal. “I ask for just one thing!”

He took a stance and raised his hands like he was going to recast the spell that was keeping Quentin away. But right now he had something bigger than the Monkey King to worry about.

Me.





17


I’d tried gymnastics as a child. This was when I still had a chance of fitting between the uneven bars, so that tells you how long ago it was.

The coach explained to us that when you weren’t used to doing a sudden move like a handspring or flip, it was common to lose your vision for a second or two in the middle of it. Your eyes wouldn’t be able to process the motion without practice, so you could be watching your own limbs the whole time without really seeing them.

That’s what happened to me. I couldn’t visualize my surroundings clearly.

But I was doing something.

And then suddenly, there I was. Out of breath. Panting and sweating in the middle of the room with no one around.

F. C. Yee's books