Tino stared at her for a long time, dark eyes still glimmering, tears still staining his cheeks like he didn’t know what to do with that. Then he nodded in silent acceptance, seeming more lost than ever, like he’d failed at a last-ditch effort to stop whatever was between them.
“I guess we’ll just keep it a secret. Carlo and Lola have been doing it for two friggin’ years. If they can pull it off, we can too.” Tino finally sighed in defeat and then closed his eyes, as if knowing this was inevitable, and it affected him too. “I can give you what you need, Bri. It’s the least I can fucking do.” He looked back to her, and Brianna understood now why Tino was able to sell it to all those mob wives. He stared at her like he would actually die to have her, making her believe it as he reached out and traced his thumb over her lips in a soft, sensual way that forced a shudder to wash over her. “Really give it to you. All of it. Any way you want it, and if you don’t know how you like it, I’ll help you figure it out. No one needs to know you let me touch you.”
“I don’t care if they know,” she reminded him. “I want them to.”
“I know, baby. If I could be anything, I’d wanna be a guy worth marrying you. That’s what I’d want.” Tino grabbed the hem of her V-neck shirt like he couldn’t resist, tugging it down so the edges of her sports bra showed as he stared at her with a stark, consuming hunger. “I’d wanna be yours in front of God.” He leaned down and sucked one taut nipple through the fabric, making her gasp and arch into him. “I’d wanna be yours in front of everyone.”
“That’s what I want too.” Brianna would marry him tomorrow if she could. “Why can’t we have that? Can’t Nova just get you another job in the administration? He’s got so much power and—”
“It’s not about the job. I’m not to the other side of the board. I’m not even close. I’m still me. A pawn. A whore. You don’t love a whore, Brianna. Never forget that. You take from whores. Use them. Don’t love them.”
She flinched as Tino said it, but all she could manage to choke out was, “Why?”
“’Cause they’re love starved. They’ve been hurt and beaten for so fucking long they are desperate for kindness. Love them, really love them, and they’ll die for you. They’ll bleed for you. Like a fucking dog. My father knows that. He used me against Nova for years. Why do you think Nova’s so feral? He knows not to let anyone too close when the Borgata owns him like it does. They own me too, Bri. A different job wouldn’t change that. They still own me, and I can only have one owner.”
“But I don’t want to own you. That’s not what I’m asking for,” she promised solemnly, even if taking possession of such a sensual, purely sexual man would never stop being a temptation. “Can’t we be equals instead? If we can’t have the rest, we can at least have that.”
“Don’t ever say that.” Tino’s voice was harsh, but his lips were soft as he pressed a kiss in the valley between her breasts. “Just let me take care of you. Gimme that.”
“No.” She shook her head, even as she caressed his dark hair and pushed it away from his face that was almost too handsome to be real. “I want it all. I want it for both of us.”
She leaned into him to kiss him, and he flinched like he had the night of their fight two years ago. The night that nearly destroyed them because she’d been so woefully naive of Tino’s reality. She didn’t know why he flinched away sometimes and was fine others, but she decided right then it was the last time she’d let him get away with it.
She didn’t know how to undo Mary’s programming. She didn’t know how to convince him he was anything less than wonderful, to her if no one else, but she did know how to fist the hair at the nape of his neck and lick his lips when he wouldn’t kiss her.
It was a dirty kiss.
Unapologetically sexy, because that was how he’d taught her to do it. When she caught his bottom lip with her teeth, he moaned. She could feel the shudder of defeat wash over him even before he cupped her face and took over…kissing her.
Hot.
Openmouthed.
As the two of them clutched at each other, and it got frantic so fast she nearly tumbled onto the asphalt when she remembered her door was still cracked open, and Tino pressed against her.
He caught her before she could, tightening his arms around her and pushing her back against the passenger seat instead. Then he ran one rough, calloused hand over her forehead and brushed her hair away from her face as he studied her.
Brianna was still breathing hard, but she felt captivated by the stark hunger reflected in his dark gaze. This was the part when he usually pulled away. At the moment when it burned the hottest and she felt like she’d die if she didn’t have him, he’d leave and prove it was survivable—barely.
When he sat back, she wasn’t surprised—disappointed but not surprised.
Then he took the key out of the ignition and said, “Wanna see my place?”
Now she really was shocked, and all she could do was nod numbly and said, “Yes, please.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine