It was Caitlyn’s turn to squeeze my hand, and I was grateful for her warmth and comfort.
“They never showed affection to one another and they absolutely never mentioned the idea of loving each other. To the contrary, they were always picking at each other’s faults. I came to understand that love meant allowing yourself to be vulnerable to attack. It was an unwelcomed barring of one’s soul for someone else to step on, trample and obliterate. I never wanted that. In fact, I actively avoided it in every exercise of my existence.”
She was nodding now, understanding and sympathy playing on her face.
“I let my body follow its own ethics, the code of lust. This kind of self-regulation fit nicely with my family’s breed of loyalism. Fuck who you want, whenever you want. Fuck them hard, fast, and frequently. Just don’t get caught doing something stupid and don’t bring them to Christmas dinner. I’m sure my parents had multiple lovers over the years, but nobody mentioned them and nobody cared about them. I was destined to be what I am and the only person who ever threw me off my game was Wenton.”
Caitlyn smiled at the mention of my brother. “How so?”
“He couldn’t play by the rules. It wasn’t in his DNA, literally. Williams kids are the nicest, sweetest humans. He didn’t have the chops for the family’s breed of ruthlessness. And, honestly, he was someone they wanted to hide away. They never told people there was anything wrong with him. They just kept him hidden. When he kissed that girl, there was rumor of a possible scandal, so they shipped him away as soon as they had even the remotest reason. To be honest, it was the best thing that ever happened to him. At the facility, he had an opportunity to create a life for himself. It was a small life, but better than being locked in his room. When he left, my mom sort of gave up caring for her kids. I was already in my late teens and had spent most of my life at boarding school. She lived at her weekend house and my dad dove into work. I would spend my weekends and holidays with Wenton. He was my real family.”
Boy, did I overshare.
It was amazing what vulnerability did to you. It was like diving off an ocean liner into the open water, without anything but the hope that someone will come to your rescue. I felt nauseous.
“Wow,” she breathed. “People think that billionaires have the best lives, but yours sounded like a nightmare. It’s funny what you don’t know about people when you first meet them.”
She smiled, and in it was forgiveness, surrender, and trust. Possibly, a truce had been drawn between us.
“It is funny. And on that note, I just want to confirm that I will not be propositioning you again. Sex is completely off the table. If it ever creeps back onto the table, it will be at your behest.”
“Mmm, I like this very much. Thank you, and honestly, I’m starting to admire you too. Sorry I’ve been such a judgy bitch.”
“Oh no, it’s good that you’ve been a judgy bitch, trust me. It’s definitely protected you from ‘super dick.’” I managed to say that with a straight face, and she laughed.
“Super dick, huh?”
My grin was as big as hers. “Yes, and should he rise up on occasion with his cape flying behind him, just ignore him. I will try to do the same.”
She stabbed a fry with her fork. “I’ve been warned.”
“Like now. He might want to start flying now,” I cautioned just to make her laugh.
“Super dick who?” she asked while wrangling with a lobster leg.
The rest of the night we spent eating, laughing, and talking about lame movie gossip. I shared insider gossip that she found amusing and she told me hilarious stories about some of the crazy things her students had done. We just enjoyed each other’s company.
When the night was over, we walked along the beach for a while, enjoying the moonlight and the sand between our toes. Sadly, though, it was late and time to take Caitlyn home. I had a long drive ahead.
I’d been in contact with my driver, letting him know we were ready to be picked up. My driver’s name was Robert, and luckily, he had family in Connecticut. As I was getting to know Caitlyn, I was coming to understand her broad worldview — she saw everyone as a person and every person as an equal.
Robert had been driving for me for years, but I barely ever said two words to him. That started to change after meeting Caitlyn. I began to feel sorry for keeping him away from his family and friends on the weekends, and gave him an option of having the weekends off. Robert thanked me for the opportunity, but he had friends he saw while I was busy with Wenton and he liked the extra money. So, while I didn’t have to drive the long stretch home, it was nearly nine p.m. and time to go.
When we arrived at Caitlyn’s house, I got out of the car and walked her to the door.
“I had a great time today. Being with your brother, the karaoke, dinner…everything. Thank you so much, you’ve really changed my life and I especially appreciated our talk.”
“You’re welcome. I can’t think of anyone who deserves it more. I have a great deal of respect for you.”
All I wanted to do was kiss her.
But she leaned in and kissed me. Her kiss was soft, sensual, and sweet.
And I fell farther down the rabbit hole of love.
CHAPTER 11
Caitlyn
I knew as soon as I came in looking like a star-crossed lover, I was going to hear it from Tammy.
“So?” she said, looking like a mother about to explode into an hour-long tongue-lashing.
“So?” I mocked.
Her eyes narrowed. “Oh no, you don’t.”
I sighed. “Nothing happened and nothing will happen. I just gave him a goodbye kiss is all. He actually promised to take sex off the table unless I wanted it.”
“Shut up.” Tammy seemed impressed.
“Yep, he said, he’d keep super dick—”
She held up her hand, stunned. “He did not name his cock.”
“—in his pants,” I finished.
“That guy is a trip.” Tammy shook her head. “Do you have any idea how famous he is?”
I lifted a shoulder. “A little.”
“I’m just saying… ‘The Love That Never Died.’” It was Tammy’s favorite movie.
“He did that?” I asked, truly shocked.
“Girl, you need to bone up on your Google skills. Hell, yes he did.” She was glowing just a little bit.
“Well, that’s pretty cool.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re hopeless.”
“How’s Gran?” It was the million-dollar question we were both avoiding.
“She’s really tired, only woke up once.” Tammy plopped down on the couch. “She’s looking kinda… I don’t know. I’ve never thought of her as old, but…”
I sat beside her. “Yeah, I know.” I could feel tears heating up my eyes.
“Listen, Cat, let’s just enjoy this time with her, okay? After work tomorrow, I’ll come over and we’ll get Ricky and have a dinner party. We’ll do whatever Gran wants to do, cook up some of her favorites.” Tammy smiled, basking in the glow of her great idea.