When I’d stuffed all the emotion carefully away, I glanced up at this beautiful man behind me, wanting to change the subject. “What about your parents? Do you see them much?”
The massage stopped then started again. “They’re both dead. Overdosed when I was eight.”
I closed my eyes, my heart hurting for him, and wishing I’d left the subject on me. How much pain could one person take? “I’m sorry.”
He ran his hands up and down my arms. “It was a long time ago.”
“Do you have any brothers or sisters? Grandparents?”
His breath was warm in my hair. “Only child, thank god. Nobody claimed me so if I do have other relatives alive, they’re dead to me.”
The ulcer fired, and I pressed my hand to my stomach. “If no one claimed you, does that mean…?”
“Yeah. Ten years in the foster system.”
I turned in his arms and pressed my cheek to his chest. “At the risk of sounding like I’m the one now patting you on the head, you’re an amazing person, Gray. With all the obstacles put into your path, you’ve become a wonderful human being. I hope you know that.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure. But there were good times. There was this one family who was totally great. The dad taught me all kinds of stuff. He’s really the person I could point to who made the biggest difference. Taught me skills. Made me curious.”
I rubbed his back, my fingers slipping under his t-shirt to feel his warm skin. “What happened?”
He exhaled. “The mom got cancer and I was put into another home. Not a good home unfortunately, but my time with the Petersons gave me some mental tools I hadn’t had before. Before them, I got into a lot of fights, had a lot of rage inside me. After them, I learned how to channel it into something more productive. I didn’t want to be another foster kid failure. I wanted out, you know? I wanted to become so successful that no one could ever touch me again.”
“And you did?”
“Yeah, but not in time to save Jessica. We were living in a pretty bad neighborhood at the time. Not like the slums, but not good either. I’d just had my first real success and had been looking for new homes in better places the day she died.”
I wasn’t sure if I should go there, but I did. “What happened?”
Another long exhale. “It was Halloween and we ran out of candy. She asked me to go to the store for more, and when I came back, just ten minutes later, a man who was imitating Michael Myers had busted into the house and shot her.”
My mind immediately flashed to the white-masked man of the Halloween series. I remembered that movie, and how terrifying it was. I also remembered the press coverage of a madman going on a killing spree somewhere on the east coast. He’d visited four homes that night, leaving seven people dead in his wake. And one unborn baby. I remembered being so sad when I’d seen the news story.
I shivered, and Gray held me tighter, running a hand up and down my back. “I’m glad you killed him.”
He made a noise but didn’t respond.
“From what the news reports said, you saved the lives of others that night.” I was remembering more. “His family tried to sue you, didn’t they? They said that because he was mentally ill, you shouldn’t have killed him. And what you did to him was… overkill.”
He still didn’t respond, the hand just continued to soothe. My hands continued to soothe him right back.
“There was a lot of press coverage. Talk of mental health problems and gun control and victim rights.”
“Yes,” he said, finally speaking. “The moment the judge declared that the family had no case against me, I packed up and moved here.”
“You were shot, if I remember correctly.”
“Yes.”
I pushed up his shirt, searching for the scar I’d touched numerous times. I found it and ran my finger over the smooth tissue. “There?”
“Yes.”
Lifting onto my tiptoes, I kissed it. “I’m never going to whine about my life ever again.”
He pushed my hair back from my face, cupping my cheek with his palm. “Don’t ever downgrade your own experience. The things you’ve lived with are as real as mine. It’s not a contest.”
I loved him for that.
Actually, I loved him for so many reasons. Not just the exciting fireworks kind of love. This felt safer. Deeper. Familiar. And while I loved having sex with him, I loved standing here like this just as much.
The lights flicked on. Off. On. Off.
“Zoe…”
I lifted my face to look up into those beautiful eyes. “Yes?”
Off. On. Off. On. Off.
“When the snow melts, will you stay?”
I thought about my life in California. There was Leslie, who I’d miss very much. There was Mom, who I’d worry about. That was it. No other ties. No other reasons.
“Yes.”
He smiled, the gap between his teeth causing my heart to squeeze hard in my chest. Then he kissed me and lifted me to the counter, untying my robe to expose my breasts to his mouth.
I looked over at the kitten, who was snuggled under Maggie’s chin. “Want me to keep an eye on Gonad?”
He grinned against my breast, his lips still sucking, his tongue washing over my nipple. “No,” he said, licking up my chest to my neck before nuzzling against my ear. “Like a hero in one of your novels, I’ll face the claw-bearing demon with nothing but bravery in my heart.”
As he slipped inside my body, connecting us, I took his face in my hands. “My hero.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Gray
The next day, my damn dick was raw, and if I wasn’t mistaken, Zoe was walking a little funny too. And not from the post-concussion dizziness that still plagued her at times, but more like a cowgirl who’d ridden a horse for too long. She didn’t complain. Hell, I didn’t complain either. But I was determined to give both of us a twenty-four-hour break.
Hell, who was I kidding. I could barely make it two hours before the need to be inside her proved to be too great.
Zoe moaned, her nose wrinkling as she bent over to drag a piece of string along the floor. The kitten pounced, and she laughed, dragging the little white ball of fur over the hardwood when he refused to let go. Not to be ignored, Maggie grabbed the string too, pulling it with her mouth. Zoe let go and giggled — what a beautiful sound — as Maggie dragged the kitten behind her.
Zoe winced as she went to her knees, pulling at the crotch of the sleeping shorts she wore, keeping them from rubbing against her sensitive flesh. I knew the trick because I’d been pulling at the crotch of my sweatpants too.
Yeah… I needed to try and give us a break.
Looking around the cabin, I searched for a distraction. I could turn on the generator but that wouldn’t help too much. The satellite would still be down, so there would be no TV, no radio, no internet. But she could use my computer or one of the many laptops I had lying around to work on her book, if she wanted.
Then I remembered the box of games I had stored in one of the back rooms. Her back room. The room with all of Jessica’s things. The room I hadn’t been inside since the day I closed the door after storing the boxes away.
Watching Zoe playing with the animals, I knew it was time.
The moment I stood, I felt Zoe’s eyes on me, a curious whatcha doing? in her expression.