“Yeah, I figure I haven’t decided exactly what I want to do, and I can test out some ideas while I’m there, do some internships and see where it leads me.”
I nodded, my throat suddenly dry. I was dancing around the point, which really wasn’t my style. I just didn’t know what I’d do if she shut me down completely. “So it’s not Columbia in particular you want to attend?”
“It’s a good school, and I’m pretty sure I can live in Scarlett or Max’s place while I’m there.”
“I hear some of the British universities have excellent MBA programs,” I blurted.
The corners of her mouth twitched, and she reached out for her glass of wine. “Is that right?” she asked before taking a sip.
“Did you consider staying in the UK? Would you?”
She set her glass back down. “Would I consider staying?”
“We have some excellent universities. And I like you. I’ll miss you if you go.”
She laughed. “You won’t notice I’m gone.”
A sharp pain sliced through my gut. She couldn’t really believe that. “That’s not true. I would miss you tremendously. I was sort of hoping you might extend your time here in London.”
“What are you suggesting? Give up on Columbia?”
I had no right to ask her to give up anything. I had a terrible track record with women and had never done anything successfully other than my job. “No. Not if you’re wedded to going to Columbia. But if what you want is an MBA, then as I said, the UK and London have some excellent universities.”
She didn’t respond but she put down her knife and fork and leaned back in her chair, looking at me. Did she want me to say something?
“I like you, Violet. And I think you like me. I know I am a selfish workaholic, but I’d like to see more of you. I know you don’t want me rearranging my schedule for you, but what if I chose to?” I looked into her eyes, trying to find some encouragement. “I want to work less so I can spend more time with you. Your contract is up just after Christmas and I’m not ready to say goodbye.”
She sighed, which hadn’t been the reaction I’d been hoping for. “Alexander, isn’t the whole reason we work because I don’t ask anything of you and you don’t disappoint me because I’m not expecting anything?”
“But maybe I want you to ask things of me.”
“But the whole reason that your marriage didn’t work is that you always put work first and because your wife wanted too much.”
“Agreed. But Gabby and I aren’t you and me. And I said I can commit to spending more time with you.”
“The problem isn’t just that though. What happened with David hurt me. And for me this works because you are who you say you are. You never say things you don’t mean.”
“That sounds like a good thing.”
“It is. It’s one of my favorite things about you. But if this thing between us changes—you give more, I expect more—it will be so much easier for those lines to get crossed. For me to wind up disappointed, hurt.”
I nodded. She was right as she usually was. “It’s a risk.”
She nodded and went back to eating as if it was settled, the discussion over. I was far from done.
“But it’s a risk worth taking as far as I’m concerned,” I said and she glanced up. “I want to eat out with you on Saturday nights and dance in the park. And the last thing I want to do is be on the phone with clients when I can be talking to you.”
“But if it didn’t work with Gabby, who you were married to, why would it work with me?”
“I feel more for you that I ever did for Gabby. You’ve changed the way I look at the world. You think six months ago I was dancing cheek to cheek in Berkley Square? Or spending lunchtimes in museums? I did neither with Gabby or any other woman.”
She laughed. “Oh, that’s my bad influence, is it?”
“It’s your very good influence.” I paused. If I’d thought for one moment that I’d be sitting here asking a woman to cross a continent for me just a few months ago, I would have assumed I’d lost my mind, but far from it. Violet had helped me find it. “You could always apply to some London schools and see what happens between us over the next few weeks. They all require the same entrance exam anyway.”
She grinned at me. “They do, do they? Have you been doing some research?”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted.
She twisted the stem of her wine glass. “I could fill out the application forms. See who, if anyone, accepts me.”
“And we can spend some more time together, and I can show you I am the man I say I am. You don’t have to decide right away.”
“I’m nervous,” she said, looking out from under her lashes at me. “This feels serious.”
I nodded. “It does. But doesn’t it feel right too?”
“Being with you right here and now feels right, and I don’t want it to stop.” She shook her head. “But looking into the future is never easy. It scares me. I don’t want to get hurt again.”
“It scares me too, but I’m really good at working really hard to be the person I want to be. I’ve just always wanted to be the best barrister. Now I want to be a man you deserve.”
“And the best barrister?” she teased.
“Well, yes, of course I want both.”
“And if anyone is capable of having everything they want, it’s you.”
“That’s good to know. Because I want you.” I reached out for her hand across the table.
A pink blush bloomed in her cheeks. Violet rarely got embarrassed, and there was something rather adorable about a woman so beautiful, charming, and clever being embarrassed by a man like me wanting her so openly.
“Let’s take this slowly, okay?” she said.
“I’ll follow your lead.” It was the first time we’d talked about our relationship. The first time that we’d discussed more than what we were doing tomorrow. Adrenaline spread through my body. I was excited. Not about a new case I’d been assigned. Not about a courtroom win, but about my future with a woman. For the first time in my life I wanted more than to be the best at the bar. I wanted Violet King.
Thirty
Violet
“I think I’m in love with Alexander Knightley,” I blurted out as soon as Scarlett answered the phone.
“Of course you are. I think I’m in love with Alexander Knightley,” she replied. “He’s so charming, Violet.”
I sighed and collapsed back on my bed. “I’m being serious. This is a disaster. You need to talk me out of it or recommend something I can get from the pharmacy to cure me.” I’d been floating on cloud nine since Saturday, and I couldn’t stop smiling. It seemed, without realizing it, I’d been waiting for Knightley to say he wanted more, that he didn’t want me to leave. Dancing with him in the park, him talking about how he wanted me, it had allowed this rush of feelings to burst out of me. As though I’d been waiting to admit to myself that I was in love with Alexander.
Scarlett laughed. “I think it’s wonderful.”
“He danced with me in Berkley Square, the asshole. He said we had to listen for nightingales.”
“Oh my, you mean like the song?”
I sighed. It had been the most romantic night of my life, and one I’d never forget. “He told me I was smart and beautiful and that I’d ace the entrance exam for Columbia.”