07 Aug 23.50
She won’t be pleased you already spoke to him about her What if he doesn’t put her on medication?
07 Aug 23.50
He wil . I’ve told him she’s paranoid and highly strung Hopeful y her behaviour will confirm it
From the Baby Boutique I head out to the school where I used to work, arriving just as the lunch break is under The Breakdown
353
way. I think of John and my face flushes with guilt at
how quickly I’d accused him, even to the point of him murdering Jane. But I still don’t know how innocent he is – he met with Rachel, didn’t he? Jane’s face appears in my mind and the sadness I always feel comes back.
But I can’t think about her now, not just yet.
I push open the door to the school’s reception area.
The corridors are empty and as I walk along I realise how much I miss it all. I arrive in front of the staff room door, take a deep breath and go in.
‘Cass!’ Connie leaps to her feet, knocking her salad onto the floor, and gives me a huge hug. ‘Oh my God, how lovely to see you! Do you know how much we miss you?’
Other colleagues crowd round, asking how I’ve been and telling me how pleased they are to see me. After I’ve reassured them that I’m fine I ask where John and Mary are.
‘John’s on canteen duty and Mary is in her office,’
Connie says.
Five minutes later I’m on my way to see Mary. She
looks as delighted to see me as everyone else was, which is reassuring.
‘I wanted to apologise for letting you all down,’ I explain. ‘First of all, over the Inset day.’
‘Nonsense,’ she says, smart as ever in a navy suit and pink shirt. ‘Your husband gave us plenty of notice so it wasn’t a problem. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t see you
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when I popped round in the evening with the flowers.
Your husband said you were asleep.’
‘I should have written to thank you,’ I say guiltily, because I don’t want her to know that Matthew never gave me the flowers.
‘Don’t be silly.’ She looks cautiously at me. ‘I must say, I didn’t expect to see you looking so well. Are you quite sure you’re not up to coming back? We miss you.’
‘I’d love to come back,’ I say wistfully. ‘But as you know, I’ve been ill. In fact, I think you noticed there was something wrong with me last term.’
She shakes her head. ‘I never noticed anything at all, I’m afraid. If I’d known you felt under such pressure I would have tried to help. I do wish you’d spoken to me.’
‘But didn’t you tell my husband that you’d noticed me not being on top of things?’
‘The only thing I told your husband, when he phoned to tell me you wouldn’t be coming back, was that you were my most organised and efficient member of staff.’
‘Did my husband tell you why I wasn’t coming back?’
She looks at me candidly. ‘He said you’d had a nervous breakdown.’
‘I’m afraid he exaggerated a little.’
‘I thought he might have, especially when your
medical certificate only mentioned you were suffering from stress.’
‘I don’t suppose I could see it, could I?’
‘Yes, of course.’ She goes over to her filing cabinet and flicks though the folders. ‘Here it is.’
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I take the paper and study it for a moment.
‘Could I have a copy of this, please?’
She doesn’t ask why and I don’t offer any more information. ‘I’ll get it done for you straightaway,’ she says.
16 Aug 23.52
Good news
I did as you suggested and cut through the woods on the way to Chichester She had complete breakdown
Cal ed out doctor, he said she must take the pil s regularly 16 Aug 23.52
At last!
16 Aug 23.52
There’s more
Says she doesn’t want to go back to work Think we’re on home straight 16 Aug 23.53
Thank God
Time to get down to final part Think I can get into house tomorrow?
16 Aug 23.53
Will try and knock her out with pil s But be careful
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*
17 Aug 10.45
I’m at the house, she’s completely out of it How many did you give her?
17 Aug 10.49
2 in orange juice + 2 prescribed Wondered why she didn’t answer phone Where is she 17 Aug 10.49
Crashed out in front of television Have ordered couple of things from shopping channel 17 Aug 10.49
Why?
17 Aug 10.50
Make her think she ordered them You said she already ordered me earrings so why not 17 Aug 10.50
Don’t overdo it
17 Aug 10.50
?
*
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20 Aug 14.36
You at house?
20 Aug 14.36
Yes, have tidied up a bit
Hopeful y she’l think she did it If not you can say you did before work and make her feel bad 24 Aug 23.49
Phoned Head this afternoon and told her about nervous breakdown Said not to expect her back
24 Aug 23.49
What did she say?
24 Aug 23.49
Feels bad that she didn’t see it coming Wants a medical certificate *
26 Aug 15.09
How’s life?
26 Aug 15.10
Would rather be in Siena
Machine not delivered, they’ve said Tuesday now
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