the moment, it’s something I don’t know.
I get slowly to my feet, feeling as if I’ve aged a hundred years in the last couple of hours. Rachel’s phone is still in my hand and I know I have to hide it before Matthew comes back. He isn’t out with Andy, he’s out with Rachel helping her look for the little black mobile that holds so much incriminating evidence. I scan the room and my eyes fall on the orchids lined up on the window sill. My mobile is still hidden under one of the plants. I walk over, lift a different plant out of its pot, place the phone in the bottom and put the orchid back.
And then I go to bed.
*
It’s only when I hear Matthew’s car pulling into the drive that I realise the danger I’m in. If Rachel and Matthew have managed to trace the French students, they’ll know I have the phone. I throw the covers off me and leap from the bed, hardly able to believe that I came up to bed instead of taking the phone to the police. But I had been in such a daze, and so distraught, that I hadn’t been thinking straight. Now it’s too late. Without my mobile, and the house phone downstairs, I have no way of calling them.
The sound of the car door slamming propels me into the bathroom, looking for something to defend myself with. I fling open the cupboard; my eyes fall on a pair
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of nail scissors but they don’t seem enough of a weapon.
Matthew’s key rattles in the lock and, in a panic, I grab a can of hairspray and run back to the bedroom. Climbing into bed, I slide the hairspray under my pillow, easing off the top off as I do so. Then, lying down facing the door, I close my eyes and feign sleep, my hand gripping the hidden can tightly. And like ticker tape running through a machine, the text messages hurtle through my brain.
20 Sep 11.45
I’m bored
20 Sep 11.51
Why don’t you drop in and see coffee machine in action New one in place
20 Sep 11.51
Real y?
Thought you didn’t want us meeting up 20 Sep 11.51
Wil ing to make an exception
Also need you to dig
20 Sep 11.51
For what?
20 Sep 11.52
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321
Why she’s OK at weekends when she’s crashed out
during the week
20 Sep 11.52
OK, what time?
20 Sep 11.53
2 p.m.
20 Sep 23.47
Big risk kissing me in hall this afternoon 20 Sep 23.47
Worth it
Find out anything?
20 Sep 23.47
She doesn’t take her pills at weekends Doesn’t want you to know how much they affect her So hides them in drawer Which means she only gets the 2 you put in her orange juice
20 Sep 23.49
Did she say which drawer?
20 Sep 23.49
Bedside
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b a paris
20 Sep 23.49
Hold on, going to check
20 Sep 23.53
You’re right, found 11
Have a bril iant idea
20 Sep 23.53
You’re getting me excited
20 Sep 23.54
Will use them for overdose
20 Sep 23.54
No!!! You can’t!!!
20 Sep 23.54
Make it seem like suicide attempt, make her seem unstable 20 Sept 23.55
What if they kill her?
20 Sept 23.55
Our problem would be solved
But they won’t. Will research properly, don’t worry I hear his soft tread on the stairs and with each step he takes my heart thumps a little louder, the beat of a drum heralding his arrival. As he comes to a stop at the foot The Breakdown
323
of my bed, it reaches a crescendo and I can’t believe he
can’t hear it, or see my body shaking underneath the quilt. Surely he can sense my fear, just as I can sense him standing there looking down at me. Does he know I have the phone? Or am I safe, at least for another night?
The waiting becomes unbearable, then impossible. I stir slightly and half open my eyes.
‘You’re back,’ I mumble sleepily. ‘Did you have a good time with Andy?’
‘Yes, he sends his love. Go back to sleep, I’m going for a shower.’
I close my eyes obediently and he leaves the room.
And as his footsteps disappear down the hall, the ticker tape of messages continues to scroll through my brain.
21 Sep 16.11
We have problem
She knows you were in the house earlier 21 Sep 16.11
How?
21 Sep 16.11
Don’t know, have cal ed police 21 Sep 16.12
What? Why?
21 Sep 16.12
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Because she wanted me to
Would have looked suspicious if I refused Going home now, hope I’ll be able to cover for you 21 Sep 23.17
Can you get back to me asap
Real y worried, need to know what happened this afternoon 21 Sep 23.30
Don’t worry, all OK
21 Sep 23.30
How did she know I was there?
21 Sep 23.30
You put her mug in dishwasher She noticed
21 Sep 23.31
Did I? Don’t remember
21 Sep 23.31
Who has eod now?
21 Sep 23.31
You seem very cheerful considering near miss 21 Sep 23.31
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Everything has worked out for best
21 Sep 23.32
How’s that?
21 Sep 23.32
After police left I told her she was paranoid and eod She stormed off, took 2 pil s
21 Sep 23.33
So?
21 Sep 23.33
So will add 13 in drawer to orange juice tomorrow morning + 2 she takes