“I didn’t choose. I had no say in the fucking matter, believe me.”
I watched the left side of his mouth twitch before he eventually broke out into a smile.
“That would be almost sweet if you weren’t being such a little pussy bitch about leaving her for two days.”
“A pussy bitch? Is that right, you prick? You wanna watch your mouth. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at Sasha, but never grown balls big enough to say or do anything about the way she’s got you all twisted.”
“Fuck you.”
“You’d like to.”
We were both quiet for a few long moments, lost in our thoughts. I knew he was pissed off that she was seeing Shain and had spent Christmas with him, but he never said a thing. I got nothing.
I stared at the photo on my desk of Sarah and me. It was taken at Hilary’s, a boat harbour, in Western Australia last year. She looked so happy and healthy. Her freckles were out in full force because of the sun, and her one-dimpled smile was on show. It hit me hard in that moment just how unwell she’d been looking.
“She’s so fucking sick, Luke. It’s not even funny. I just hate leaving her again so soon,” I told him very quietly.
He tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling.
“I know she’s been sick. It’s only two days, though. Don’t try to make me feel guilty.” I stayed silent, knowing he would eventually cave to some sort of compromise. He’d been as worried about Sarah as I had. He just hadn’t seen her in person for a couple of weeks and was unaware of the effects the constant throwing up was having on her.
He dropped his feet to the floor and let out a low groan. “Fine, I’ll go and stay with her the first night you’re away, but my flights at one the following day.”
This was why we worked so well together. We were more like lovers than business partners—in a very blokey, nonsexual way obviously.
We would shout, scream, and hurl abuse at each other one minute, but once a solution was found, neither of us held grudges and it was back to business as usual.
“How about this then: I fly up in the morning and come back in the evening after the meeting. I don’t need to stay there and wait for their answer. A call will be enough.”
“The same day?”
“Yeah.”
“I just said I’d stay with her.”
“But I’d still be happier if I came home.”
He stared at me as if I were an alien for a few seconds and then shook his head.
“You are seriously fucked where my sister’s concerned. You know that, right?”
“I’m all too aware of how fucked I am where your sister is concerned. I love her. Nothing else matters.” I shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to get into a D and M about his sister at the end of our working day.
“You do realise that you’re gonna be completely fucked if this baby’s a girl, don’t ya?
“And you’re not?”
He grinned.
I grinned.
“What if they don’t get done talking till midnight? What if the talking carries on for two or three days?”
“That’s a chance I’ll take.”
“Well, I still think you’re fucking mad, but if that’s what you wanna do.”
“It’s not what I wanna do. What I wanna do is stay home and look after Sarah, but I’m about to become a father, so I need to make this business a success. If doing that means flying up and down the country for a few days, then so be it.”
***
When I got home later that night, Sarah was already curled up in bed with a book. I watched her from the doorway of our bedroom, taking in the paleness of her skin and the dark circles beneath her eyes. Her cheekbones looked sharper and more prominent than I’d ever seen them before, even her pre wedding diet hadn’t made her look this slim. As much as I loved the idea of her being pregnant, I hated the toll it was taking on her, and her frailness worried me.
She must have sensed me standing there, because she opened her eyes and looked up. The smile that lit up her face still had the ability to bring me to my knees, especially when that one dimple appeared.
“You’re home early.”
“It’s almost nine thirty, I wouldn’t call that early.”
She sat up slowly, which I knew took her more effort than she would ever admit. “It’s early for you. I love it when your home before I go to sleep.”
I couldn’t move. Her words almost floored me. Something most other couples took for granted, she considered a treat, a rarity. It was Thursday, and I hadn’t eaten dinner with her once this week. Nine thirty was the earliest I had been home. My fucking heart broke for her right then. I promised her I’d do better, but I was still working long hours and now I was gonna have to fly up to Scotland for a day and leave her again.
I made the decision right then that as soon as I was back, we were taking on more staff. The only reason that we hadn’t was because we’d been too busy to set aside time for interviews. I would make time. As much as I wanted the business to succeed, I knew that I needed to be home more. I needed to be a better husband.
Very soon, I would need to be the best Dad.