***
I woke up to an empty bed and the sound of Sarah throwing up coming from our en suite.
She was quite literally hugging the toilet when I walked into the bathroom. She was kneeling down with her arms are draped around it and her back strained and arched over so that her head lowered into the bowl as she heaved.
I rinsed out a face cloth under the cold tap and placed it on the back of her neck.
“You want some water?”
She nodded her head without looking up at me.
“Please.”
I ran down the stairs, collected a cold bottle of water from the fridge and a couple of the rice cakes she liked, and was back at her side in less than a minute. I hated seeing her like this and would take it all away if I could. It was even worse that I was reduced to only being able to get her water and shitty rice cakes. I’d tried them; they tasted like cardboard. I wanted to feed her a roast dinner or fish and chips, something that would fatten her up, but I knew she couldn’t keep anything like that down. I just felt so bloody helpless.
I threw the food on to the bed and headed into the bathroom with the water. She was sitting with her back against the cupboards beneath the sink and had the face cloth covering her entire face.
“My head hurts,” she said very quietly, and I knelt next to her and lifted the cloth away.
“I know, bub.” My voice was quiet in the small room as I unscrewed the cap and held the bottle up to her lips. “Here, drink this.”
She took a few small sips before slowly opening her eyes.
“You okay?”
She gave a small nod but looked far from okay.
“This is fucking ridiculous. There must be something they can give you.”
She shrugged her shoulders. “They did, I don’t wanna take it.”
“Why? Because of some fuck-up from the fifties or sixties? Things are different now, babe. The testing is much more stringent. They’d never let something like that happen again.”
“I’d rather throw up for nine months than take that chance.”
She took the water from my hand and gulped down a few big swigs. Thirty seconds later, she barely made the crawl to the toilet in time.
Kneeling behind her, I held her hair away from her face and rubbed her back. Other than that, I had nothing else I could offer her. I felt helpless and so fucking useless.
By the time she finished, her face was ashen, her skin was clammy, and her entire body was shaking.
“You can’t carry on like this, bub. You need to go back and see the doctor.”
“It’ll pass soon. It’s already getting better. I’ve not been sick after about ten for the last two days now. It’s just the early mornings that are still bad.”
“Are you managing to eat anything at all? Is anything staying down?”
“Toast,” she offered with a sad smile.
“Fuck. I don’t know how you can smile about this.”
I wrapped my arms around her, and she buried her face against my chest.
“Why are you here?”
“I’ve missed you. I have to fly to Scotland early tomorrow morning, and I won’t be back till late tomorrow night, so I took some time to spend with you today.”
I could feel her smile against my chest.
“I’d kiss you, but I have upchuck breath.”
“Upchuck breath. That’s a new one.”
“They should bottle it and make teenagers smell it. The girls at least would never go without contraception again if they thought that delightful stench was what they had to look forward to. It’d soon put an end to unprotected teenage sex and unwanted pregnancies.”
“Sarah Delaney, controlling the population boom where the pill and condoms failed.”
She slapped my arse.
“I feel disgusting.”
“You feel fine to me, baby.” I ground my hips into her as I spoke.
“Seriously? You’re gonna go there right now? I have upchuck breath, upchuck hair, and sweaty pits. I heaved so hard that I think I may even have wet myself just a little, and yet you’re still getting hard for me.”
I held on to either side of her face and forced her to look up at me. I kissed each of her eyelids, her nose, and then her mouth.
“You could be covered in upchuck from head to toe, Sarah Delaney, but I will still love you a lottle. You will forever remain my pretty girl, and I will have an eternal hard-on whenever you are near.”
She burst into tears.
***
I ran a bath, added bubbles, and we sat and soaked in the warmth while eating toast and sipping tea.