“Yeah, we had another little tipple, hair of the dog, ya know? We were both feeling a bit shabby this morning.”
“Lucky shabby. I’ve felt nothing since Monday.”
“Are you two for fucking real? I’m stuck standing here on a tree. I don’t need to be hearing this shit.” Luke complained again.
“You’re on a chair.” Sasha corrected him.
“What?”
“You’re on a chair, you said you were ‘on a tree’, but you’re on a chair holding the tree. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you’re not pretty enough to be a fairy, not famous enough to be a star, and something tells me you lost your angel wings a very long time ago.”
My brother was silent for a few long moments and just stared at Sash. I watched his Adam’s apple move as he swallowed hard. My brother looked lost, sad almost, and the silence became uncomfortable as he and Sash continued to stare at each other.
“Help him with the tree,” I told Liam before kissing his cheek and stepping away.
***
It felt like it had been forever since the four of us hung out but that was exactly what we spent the rest of Saturday doing.
The boys finally set the tree straight and then headed off in search of beer while Sasha helped me decorate. By decorate, I meant I allowed her to pass me things while I placed them on the tree. There was an art to these things, and Sash had neither the artistic direction nor the patience. So, I knew if I let her near my tree, I would only end up taking it down once she left and redoing it.
“You okay up there, Mrs Smiley Face?” Sasha asked. She had stopped handing me things about a half hour ago and was siting on the couch cross-legged with my red-and-gold Christmas tree beads wound around her neck. There were also two big gold bows clipped to her T-shirt, right in front of each of her nipples.
Trying to deflect, I looked down at her and laughed, asking, “What are you doing with my decorations?”
“Playing dress up. Why are you smiling so big?”
I paused what I was doing and smiled down at her.
“I’m happy, Sash. This is our first Christmas in our new home as a married couple. I know Nan and Grandad won’t be here and neither will you, but I’m really looking forward to having Liam and Luke all to myself for a few days, just chilling and doing nothing.”
“D’you think I’m doing the right thing, flying all the way over there to spend Christmas with Shain?”
I climbed down from the stepladder I had been standing on—the chair Luke had been using didn’t add enough height for me—and sat on the sofa opposite Sasha.
“Is Australia where you wanna be spending Christmas?”
“Not really, but it’s where Shain is, and I wanna spend Christmas with him.”
She passed me her wine, and I pretended to take a sip before passing it back.
“Well then, there’s your answer.”
“Yeah, but it’s costing me so much money, and I have to take part of my leave unpaid.”
“But you just said you wanted to spend Christmas with Shain. If you’re taking the cost into account . . .” I trailed off and shrugged my shoulders.
I knew my situation was a little different when I flew over to Australia to surprise Liam, but I would have paid my own fair if Luke hadn’t booked my flights using the company card. I missed Liam that much, and money never entered the equation.
“What? Finish what were gonna say,” Sasha snapped at me.
“I gave up my job to go and be with Liam. I gave up my job, got on a plane, and went to Australia without even knowing when I was gonna be back. I did it because I love him. Nothing else mattered.”
“It was different for you, you’re married.”
“That doesn’t change how much I love him.”
“Exactly, you love him. We haven’t even got to that stage yet. I like him a lot, and I miss him, but I’m not in love with him, not yet.”
“D’ya think you could be eventually?”
Luke appeared from around the corner, and Sash fell silent. I watched her eyes roam from his feet, up his jean-covered legs, over his T-shirt, and up to his face.
She was still in love with Luke, which was what her problem with going to Australia was all about. I wasn’t sure if she was doing it just to make a statement to my brother or if she really had feelings for Shain, but either way, the electricity bouncing between those two was enough to make my hair stand on end. It was the way Liam and I looked at each other.
“I’m starving, you cooking?” Luke asked without taking his eyes from Sasha.
I shook my head, and he finally looked in my direction.
“There’s some of that smelly cheese you and Liam like in the fridge and some pate.” I turned towards Sash.
“You wanna go plate up some nibbles, and we’ll order takeaway once I’m finished.” She nodded and headed to the kitchen, careful not to brush against Luke as she passed him.