“The Naked Baker?” Sky’s jaw gaped. “Holy shit, Lizzie.”
Lizzie buried her face in her hands. “I’m not naked. Just watch five minutes of it—you’ll get the idea.” She turned away as Sky clicked play. When her voice sounded, it felt foreign to her. She could clearly hear the difference between the put-on sensuality on the video and the real emotions that accompanied the things she’d said to Blue when they were intimate—the things that came straight from her heart.
A minute later Sky closed the laptop. “I can’t watch any more,” she said softly.
Lizzie waited for Sky to give her hell, and when she said nothing, and gently placed a hand on Lizzie’s shoulder, it pulled more tears from her eyes.
“Did Blue see these?”
Lizzie nodded without turning to face her.
Sky wrapped her arms around her from behind and rested her cheek against her back. “It’s gonna be okay.”
It was all Lizzie could do to shake her head as more tears fell.
“It really will be okay,” Sky reassured her.
Lizzie turned in to Sky’s embrace, and she cried on her friend’s shoulder. She was at no loss for reasons for her tears. She cried for keeping the truth hidden from everyone she loved, she cried for the demeaning things she’d done to earn money, and she cried for the man she’d never meant to hurt. And then, when she thought she’d cried all the tears she could possibly shed, she leaned back and looked into Sky’s eyes and she cried for the friendship she truly, desperately needed and the woman she hadn’t been fair to.
“You don’t hate me?” she asked.
“Hate you? You didn’t do anything to me, other than not trust me with your sexy little secret. No, I don’t hate you.” She wiped Lizzie’s tears away and smiled. “In fact, I think I love you even more knowing you’re not the Goody Two-shoes you appear to be.”
They both laughed at that. Lizzie swiped at her tears, thankful that she hadn’t lost her best friend, too. “I’m sorry, Sky. I’m sorry I lied to you about everything, including Blue asking me out. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh. It’s okay.” She pressed her hand to the laptop. “So Blue saw the videos? How many are there?”
Lizzie closed her eyes as she answered. “Two per week since my sophomore year of college.” She opened her eyes, and Sky’s hand was covering her mouth.
“Oh, Lizzie. And he…what? What happened?”
She filled Sky in on what happened with Blue and felt the weight of the world fall from her shoulders. She hadn’t realized how much effort it took to keep her secret.
“I’m going to tell my family this weekend when I see them.”
Sky touched her hand. “I don’t know if I’d do that. Your parents definitely won’t be cool with this.”
“I know, but Blue’s right. I’m hiding this from the people I love most, and while I’m embarrassed by it, I don’t really believe they’d turn me away because of it.” She wasn’t as confident as she sounded, given her staunch upbringing, but saying aloud that they wouldn’t gave her a kernel of hope.
“Lizzie, Blue doesn’t know your parents like I do. I think he’s wrong to push you to do that, and I think you know that.”
“He didn’t push me. He just opened my eyes.” She reached for her laptop. “I want to show you something else.” She pulled up the email she’d read the other night before leaving the shop and opened the query from the Food Channel Network, then turned the computer so Sky could read it.
“It sounds like they want to turn it into a cable show,” Sky said excitedly. “The Naked Baker on television? Oh my God! What are you going to do?”
She shrugged. “There isn’t exactly anything to do yet. It’s an inquiry, probably just a form letter or something. I haven’t even had time to think about it. Besides, it’s not really a possibility. I mean, a webcast is one thing, but doing that as a full-time job? Giving up my shop? Moving away from the Cape to wherever they’d want to film it? No way. That was never my plan. It’s one email. Who knows what they really want, but if they do want to make it into a show, I can’t see how it’s something I could even consider.” With all of her relationships being put to the test, that email was the least of her concerns.
“Does Blue know?”
“No. It would just add pressure to an already untenable situation.” Not to mention that she’d told him that she regretted being with him, which wasn’t really true. She regretted not being with him, but hurt had twisted her thoughts.