Zach’s lips graze my ear, and I shiver. “I’m not sure you really want that.”
He’s right. I don’t. Each day that we spend together, I fight my feelings for him. When I’m in his arms, it’s impossible to not give in. It’s like falling back where we left off as kids—the good part. I feel the desire pulse through me when we touch, and it scares me. It would be so easy to lose myself to him. Allow the passion to take hold, but that would be a mistake. One that would leave me even more messed up over him. So, for now, we’re taking things slow.
“Watch it,” I warn as his arms tighten.
We’ve met the last eight nights like this. Under the stars, at the creek that separates our properties. I try to remember that we’re not sixteen, but it’s so easy to forget the world when Zach is here.
“Today at the barn was fun,” he reminds me.
The yearning I squashed is back.
“Yeah.” I let out a small laugh and jab him with my elbow. “It was fun. Maybe we’ll do it again sometime.”
Zach groans. “Maybe?”
“You never know.”
We both fall quiet as he holds me close. I want to move things forward with him. At the same time, I’m enjoying the pace we’re at.
“Sun’s coming up. We should get you back home,” he says against my ear. “Don’t want you to turn into a pumpkin.”
“I need to get some sleep too. I’m exhausted.” Mostly because I don’t want to dream and also because I’m staying up all night to meet Zach.
“Me too,” he confesses. “Felicia was asking yesterday why I looked like shit.”
Just her name causes my mood to shift. “Did you tell her it’s because I’m keeping you up all night?” I say half joking, yet half serious.
Zach pulls back a little. I can tell he’s trying to gauge how to answer this. He told me last night how she’s trying to convince him to try again. He’s also not allowed to say we’re together, so he’s backed into a corner. I hate her. I also know she’s relentless. If she wants him back, there’s not a trick she won’t resort to.
“Pres,” he says with an exasperated breath. “I’m doing what you want.”
“I know.” And I do. He is respecting my wishes. It’s way too soon. Right now things are fun, but what happens when we come back down to earth?
Eventually, I’m going to have to face the unresolved issues between us.
And I don’t know where that will leave us.
“Trust me.” He takes my hand. “I would much rather tell everyone, but you’ve made it pretty clear you’re not ready for that.”
I look away, conflicted. I feel like every single thing in my life is some big secret. It’s maddening. The secrets I keep are better left in the dark. When they come to light, they’ll overshadow everything else. I need more time. “Not yet. I hope you understand, but for now, I want to enjoy this. We have a town waiting in the balance, and what if this goes south?”
“You’re worried about the town?” he questions.
“Not really, I just mean that you’ll have people hounding you, and so will I. Right now, there’s no one up our asses. As soon as we’re sure—”
“I’m sure about you, Presley. Make no mistake.”
I hold up a finger to stop him. “I know that I want to try again. I’m sure that right now, this feels good.” I hook my arms under his and watch his reactions. “I’m not saying we have to keep this quiet forever. But for right now, I want to have time for us . Without outside influence.” I finish with a kiss to his lips.
He leans down, allowing his lips to ghost over mine. “I can wait for you. I can wait forever if that’s what it takes.”
I push on my toes closing the tiny gap. His fingers touch the small of my back as I hold myself to him. It’s a sweet kiss. No tongue, no immense passion, but full of confidence that we’re going to make it. If there’s one thing I know, it’s that Zach can make me happy. I just have to let him.
“You look all sorts of tired,” Wyatt says as he pushes the door open to my office. “Kinda like my brother does.”
I knew it wouldn’t take long for him to be onto us. Especially after the almost incident yesterday in the barn. I’m pretty sure he put two and two together.
I lean back, tossing the pen on the desk. “I’ve been having bad dreams.”
“Still?”
I forgot he knows about them. “Yeah, they’re getting worse.”
“Your husband?” he asks with concern.
I’ve mentioned them, but never gotten in too much detail. “It’s like he’s real. We argue, he says a lot of hurtful things . . . it’s all in my head.”
“It is.”
“But I can’t stop them.”
Wyatt comes around the desk and sits in front of me. “What are you battling, Cowgirl?”
Wyatt has always been someone I can trust, but I already feel like too many people know. “Guilt, I guess.”
“Because of you and Zach?”