“Yeah, but let’s be real, she’s probably a ballet dancer or tap or something lame.” She offered up an awkward smile.
“So that means she’s flexible.” I made a face. “Still not making me feel better.”
“Oh, Sally. You really don’t know who she is. What if her photos are like five years old or, even worse, ten years old?”
“I bet they’re not.” I looked into her wide brown eyes. “But thanks for trying to make me feel better.”
“It’s just a first date. Not like they’re getting married.”
“Yeah, but he’s going on first dates and telling me about them. A few days after we nearly had sex.” I looked down to try and stop the tears from coming. “That means he couldn’t care less about me.”
“No, it means he trusts you to tell you about his dates,” Mila said softly.
“I don’t think that that means much.” I half-laughed as I looked back up. “I don’t think Cody is shy about talking about going on dates.”
“Yeah, but he also asked your advice on where he should take her and what he should wear and if he should take her a first-date present.”
“Mila…” I looked at her with narrowed eyes. “Do you think that that’s some sort of consolation prize? Me telling him where I think he should take her? Honestly, I wanted to rip my heart out and throw it on the floor when he started asking me what I thought.”
“Oh, Sally, you’re so melodramatic.” Mila looked at me in concern. “We need to make lemonade out of lemons.”
“It’s a little hard when we have limes.” I glared at her. “Actually, scratch that, we don’t even have limes, we have grapefruit. Big, stinky, sour grapefruit. No amount of sugar can make them as sweet as lemonade.”
“Oh, Sally.” Mila giggled.
“My misery is making you laugh?” I gave her a quick smile. “Really?”
“I’m sorry, I suck as a friend.” She giggled some more and I couldn’t stop myself from joining in.
“It’s fine. I am being melodramatic. It’s not like they’re getting married.” I paused. “But if that fool comes to me and asks me how he should propose, I will kill him.”
“Nope.” Mila shook her head. “If he’s dumb enough to do something like that, I will kill him for you.”
“We can kill him together.” I winked at her and she burst out laughing.
“Sounds like a plan.” She paused. “So what’s the plan for tonight?
“You still want to go out?”
“I’m not letting you go home by yourself to just think about Cody on his date.”
“Why not? It sounds like a delightfully dreadful night.” I bit down on my lower lip. “I can imagine what they’re eating. If they’re holding hands. If he gives her a goodnight kiss. Wait, she might be forward, so maybe she’ll go for the goodnight kiss. Maybe she’ll invite him up for a nightcap. Then maybe he’ll go. And one thing will lead to another and next thing you know, its nine months later and there’s a baby Cody and I’m asked to be the godmother. And then I can just kill myself.”
“Oh, Sally.” Mila looked like she wanted to start laughing again. “I thought I had an overactive imagination.”
“Is it imagination if it’s likely to be true? Especially if he still has blue balls.”
“Shall we go to a club?” Mila suggested, trying to change the subject. “We can dance and maybe flirt it up with some hotties.”
“What would TJ think of that?”
“He wouldn’t care.” She shrugged. “Plus, this is for you.”
“I don’t know about going to a club. I wouldn’t mind dancing, but I do not want to go home and get dressed up. I’m not in a sexy or slutty mood.” I made a face. “And I don’t feel like shaving my legs.” I laughed at the expression on Mila’s face. “Hey, it’s been a few days.”
“No judgment here.” She laughed. “I haven’t shaved above the knee this week.”
“TJ doesn’t mind?”
“TJ knows better than to say anything.” She laughed. “I’m getting a Brazilian for him next week. He can deal with some hair for a couple of days.”
“Ooh, you getting a landing strip?”
“Dunno.” She shook her head. “But most probably.”
“Lucky,” I said wistfully.
“Lucky?” She looked at me like I was crazy. “How is that lucky? Waxing down there is pain I could do without.”
“I wish I had someone to wax down there for.”
“You could do it for yourself,” she suggested.
“Are you crazy?” I laughed. “I love myself enough to not put myself through that pain for nothing.”
“Oh, Sally.” She laughed. “What am I going to do with you?”
“Find me a Prince Charming — anyone who can get my sorry mind off of Cody.”
“So what about we go to a bar, then? We don’t have to get sexied-up, but we can look good.” She grinned.
“I guess I can do a bar.” I nodded. “I can get drunk off of my ass and then dance on the bar top.”
“You’re going to dance on the bar top? Coyote Ugly style.”
“If you get me drunk enough.” I winked at her.
“Oh, I’ll get you drunk enough.” She grinned. “This I have to see.”
“You just want me to embarrass myself.” I laughed.