“What?” She blinked up at me.
“I just don’t think this is the right thing for us to do,” I said again, my hardness and everything in me disagreeing with the words coming out of my mouth. “I don’t want to lose what we have. Our friendship means the world to me.”
“I see,” she said, and I watched as she pulled the sheet up over her naked body.
“Do you?” I said, looking at her, already regretting my decision.
“Sure.” She nodded and then yawned widely. “I’m drunk and tired, so I should probably just go to sleep now.”
“Sally, I...” I started and paused as she closed her eyes. “Okay,” I said finally and lay back next to her. I so badly wanted to pull her on top of me and let her ride me until the sun came up, but I knew that I had to go with my gut and my gut was telling me that if we had sex, everything would change, and I wasn’t sure I could deal with the expectations she might have of me, if that were to happen.
Chapter 10
Sally
“So, what do you want to do tonight?” Mila asked me eagerly, her eyes alert as she gazed at me. I knew she was concerned about my wellbeing after my not quite hookup with Cody. She had been calling me for the last couple of days and had finally convinced me to meet up with her. I hadn’t wanted to, but she’d said she’d send the police over to my house for a wellness check if I didn’t.
“Tonight?” I responded slowly. I didn’t want to do anything but go home and sleep in my bed.
“Yeah, tonight, as in a few hours.” Mila rolled her eyes at me. “You know what they call the time when the sun goes down.”
“I didn’t know you wanted to do anything tonight,” I continued slowly again. “Don’t you and TJ have plans?”
“No, we don’t have plans. That’s why I’m asking you what you want to do. In fact, I told TJ I didn’t want to go to the movies with him because I wanted to hang out with you.”
“Why did you do that?” I said softly, wanting to scream and shout I don’t want to hang out tonight. I just want to cry away my sorrows at the fact that Cody doesn’t love me. And didn’t even find me sexy enough to make love to me. That part still stung the most, especially considering how close we’d come. My body was still tingling thinking about him and his moves. A part of me wished that I had just pushed him down on the bed and sat on him and taken everything into my own hands, but that would have made everything even more awkward.
“Because I’m not going to let you go home and cry away your sorrows.” Mila gave me a look. “Or think about what an idiot Cody is for not just sealing the deal.” She rolled her eyes and shook her head.
“What?” My face turned red as I looked at her, dumbfounded. “Can you read my mind?”
“No, of course I can’t read your mind.” She laughed. “But I have been where you are.” She made a face. “I know Cody hurt your feelings.”
“I don’t care about Cody.” I made a face back at her and then grimaced. “Okay, obviously that’s a lie, but what can I say?”
“That he’s a dumb fool.”
“I just don’t understand,” I whined. “We were this close to having sex. I thought we were both into it. He was practically inside of me.” I made a face at her. “Sorry for TMI.”
“Ha-ha, can we ever have TMI?” She grinned. “But yeah, he’s an idiot and he probably ended up with blue balls.”
“Shit, I ended up with blue balls.” I groaned. “I’m just so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.”
“I’m embarrassed and hurt.” My voice lowered. “Am I that grotesque and ugly?”
“Of course not.” Mila frowned at me. “You know that, right?”
“I know nothing.” I shook my head. “And then for him to randomly text me yesterday and tell me he was going on a date. Like, how could he? Is he trying to stab me in the back?”
“I think that he’s just trying to make sure everything is cool with you guys.” Mila sighed. “He is a guy and he seems to be a bigger idiot than most of them.”
“Yeah, I guess he wanted to let me know ‘Hey, the other night meant nothing and I’m moving onto bigger and better’. He’s going to end up with some hottie that he does want to sleep with and marry. Unlike me, who turned him off.”
“It’s just a date, Sally, it doesn’t mean anything.” Mila touched my arm. “He’s not moving on to anything. He probably didn’t even realize how hurtful he was being. I’m sure his call meant nothing. The date means nothing. Trust me.”
“It means a lot.” I gave a big sigh. “Did you see her photos? And did you hear how he talked about her and how much he showed us of her profile? He’s really into her. Like he thinks she is his perfect mate or something. I’ve never received so many texts and screenshots from him in my life.”
“He’s a guy and he’s just into the fact that she said she takes dance classes. He’s probably hoping she’s a stripper or something.” Mila made a face.
“That doesn’t make me feel better.” I groaned.