"You nearly ready, Sally?" Cody's voice was warm as he stood in the doorway looking at me. "I told TJ and Mila we'd be there at seven and I still have to pick some other friends up."
"Yeah, gimme a minute." I gave him a weak smile and looked back at the computer screen. Cody had left open his OkCupid dating account on the screen and I could see all the women he'd been exchanging messages with. I scrolled through the page to see what they looked like, unable to stop myself, even though I knew I shouldn't. I then clicked to see the girls he'd liked. My stomach dropped as I stared at all their beautiful faces. They all looked the same: long, dark, straight hair, big blue eyes, fine beautiful features, all were skinny and all had that “I'm cool, look at me” look on their faces. I could feel embarrassment sweeping through me as it hit me, maybe for the first time, that I was just not Cody's type. Not at all. Nothing about me fit what he was looking for in a woman. I wasn't sure how I'd missed that fact. I knew I shouldn’t read the messages, but I couldn’t stop myself.
“What movies are showing?”
“What?” I blinked up at him.
“Aren’t you looking up movie times?” He walked towards me and my heart stopped as I clicked on a new tab and typed in “movie times” quickly into Google.
“Yeah, yeah, sorry, I put in the wrong zip code.” I said lamely. “Let me check the right one now.”
“Okay.” He nodded. “Let me go and call TJ and tell them we’re running late.”
“Sure, and sorry about the delay. My head has been all over the place lately.”
“Hey, no worries, Sally.” He gave me a huge smile and my heart melted, even though I was in a really low place. “We’ll get there.”
“Yeah, we will.”
“And you know I’m here to talk if you ever need someone, right?”
“Yeah, I know.” I nodded. “Thanks.” I watched as he headed out of the room and I tried not to cry. This whole situation was a lot harder than I’d thought it was going to be. I was getting to know Cody on a deeper level and I was falling for him harder and harder. Only, he wasn’t falling for me. Yes, he was growing closer to me. Yes, I knew he saw me in a different light now, but I also knew that wasn’t a romantic light. I just wanted him to pull me closer to him. I wanted him to kiss me, to touch me, to want me; yet, he seemed to have no interest in growing closer to me in that way and that killed me. And I knew that if it didn’t kill me, it would just leave me empty and alone. I wanted to slap myself. I needed to get some self-respect. I needed to grow some self-esteem. I needed to love myself enough to accept that he just didn’t want me that way and I needed to move on with my life. Or at least stop whining to myself. I was getting fed up of my own tears and heartache. I just needed to get over it already.
* * *
“How did we end up choosing a horror movie?” I whispered to Mila as we walked into the movie theater ahead of the guys. “You know I hate horror movies. I’m going to scream and embarrass myself.”
“You won’t.” She gave me a sly grin and my eyes narrowed.
“You chose the movie, didn’t you?” I growled under my breath. “Mila, how could you do this to me? You know I wanted to see a rom-com or something.”
“The guys don’t wanna watch a rom-com. Plus, if we do a horror, whenever you feel scared you can grab ahold of Cody and he can protect you.”
“Mila.” I groaned. “That’s not about to happen.”
“You never know.” She shrugged and smiled. “You need to up the stakes.”
“I don’t want to up the stakes.” I sighed. “This is too much already.”
“What are you two whispering about?” Cody came up from behind me and nearly made me jump.
“Nothing,” I said quickly and then paused. What if he’d heard some of what I had to say? “Well, I was just complaining that Mila chose a horror movie and she knows that I hate them.”
“I’m here to protect you if you feel scared.” He grinned at me and my heart fluttered. “Just sit next to me.”
“Aww, thanks, Cody,” I said, my heart racing. Maybe he really was coming around?
“No worries, that’s what friends are for.” He grinned at me and overtook Mila and I and walked into our theater. “Let’s try and get some seats towards the top. I hate being too close to the screen.”
“Sure,” I mumbled as I gave Mila a small glare, my stomach sinking at his use of the word “friends”.
“It’ll be fine,” she mumbled, smiled and then reached behind to grab TJ’s hand. “Honey, will you protect me as well, if I get scared?”
“I’ll protect you any day of the week. Any second of the day.” TJ pulled her towards him and kissed her cheek. “I’ll protect you from the grave.”