Looking down the highway at the motel, my breath shortens, my feet stop, and I stare ahead. I don’t need light to recognize the silhouette and that motorcycle parked out front. The stars provide enough light, and my body is instinctively drawn to him. Without waiting for an internal nod of permission, I start walking again.
Alexander stands, his arms uncrossing when he sees me. I want to run into his arms and pretend none of the past year happened, but we both know that’s not possible. So my pace stays steadier than the beating inside my chest. When I reach the motel, his face comes into view. Those blue eyes I love so much trained on me as if I had the strength to run away twice.
“Alice?”
I turn back, and Eric is jogging toward me. No. No. No. No.
“Sara Jane?”
Closing my eyes, I don’t know what to do. When I open them, I head back to Eric. I’ve got to make him leave. Alexander won’t understand, just as Eric doesn’t now. He looks over my shoulder at Alexander when he approaches. “I wanted to make sure you made it back safely.” Nodding in Alexander’s direction, he asks, “Everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine. Thanks. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure. I’m working all day.” His eyes narrow, not satisfied, my nonchalance not believable. “You sure you’re okay?”
I plaster on a fake smile I’ve mastered and am about to placate him when we both hear, “She’s fine.”
Shit. Pleading with my eyes, my tone reflects my panic as the words rush out, “I’m good. I promise.”
I hear the crunch of the rocks under Alexander’s boots. “Go back to the bar and mind your own business.”
Eric’s eyes dart from me to Alexander and back again. Time ticks like the rush of blood with each heartbeat. When he steps closer, panic rises inside and is reflected back in his eyes. “My name’s not Eric. It’s Jason, and I’m not from anywhere near here.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because if you’re not here tomorrow, if I never see you again, I want you to know my real name.” When he speaks, my breath halts in my throat. I can feel Alexander within a few feet of me, but I don’t look back. Not yet. Jason continues, “We’ve all come here to escape something. You can stay. We can go somewhere else. You don’t have to go back. I can help you.”
Good. He’s so good. Looking into the comfort of his eyes, maybe I should have taken that offer for the dance. But standing between the two of them, I will always choose Alexander. “I may have been escaping but it wasn’t from him. He won’t hurt me.”
Jason stares into my eyes, and when he finds what he’s looking for, he glances back at Alexander. I see the relief in his forehead as the lines smooth. The war was over long before this battle ever began. He’s knows which side I’m on without having to ask. “Okay.” He acknowledges Alexander with a nod, then says, “Take care of her.”
Taking a deep breath, I look back over my shoulder at Alexander. He’s staring at Jason, but there’s no animosity. An understanding passes between two men who appear to be on the same side. The name feels foreign, and makes him vulnerable, but he trusted me with it, so I give him the same respect. I exhale, and say, “Take care of yourself, Jason.”
“I always do.” He shrugs, gives me a wink, and heads back to Growly’s.
When I face Alexander, his arms—the arms I’ve missed each night as I’ve gone to bed—go out wide, and I embrace him fully. Home. The tears come easily and I break down under the stars I was too blind to see before tonight. Letting my love pour out, I say, “I love you.”
Whispering into my hair, he kisses my head, and says, “I know, but do you know how much I love you?”
Leaning back, I nod. “I’m sorry for leaving.”
“Don’t be. I was proud of you.”
“You were?”
“It was a long time coming.”
The wind picks up along the deserted highway, and I shiver. “Want to come in?”
“If you want me to.”
“I do.” I take his hand and we go in together. He looks around the small room, a disapproving expression coating his handsome face. He’s nice enough to not voice his real feelings on the matter.
I shut the door and lock it. “It’s not the manor.”
That makes him laugh. “You got out.”
Tossing the keys on the dresser, I sit on the edge of the bed. “I took a break. That’s all, Alexander.”
“You could have taken me with you.” He leans against the dresser and looks right at me. “Or was I what you were taking the break from?”
“It wasn’t because of you. You were the only thing keeping me there anymore.”
“What about school?”
Swallowing my disappointment and the credits I’ll lose, I reply, “It’s just a break.”
“What about that guy outside? You can tell me, Sara Jane.” Not Firefly. “I’ll still love you. Is he just a break too?”
“He’s nothing.”
“He seemed to really care about you for someone who’s nothing.”
I stand and walk to the dresser, leaning against it with space between us. “I’ve been here a month, and I just learned his name today. So when I say he’s nothing, I mean it. He’s just a nice guy caught up in my mess.” I step closer. “I expected you sooner.” I hoped deep down.
His eyes focus on mine, trying to read my thoughts. “I didn’t know if you wanted to be found.”
“I’m still not sure.”
“You don’t have to be. I just needed to know you were okay.”
His heart was always bigger than the both of us. I close the distance and lean my head against his chest, our arms remaining by our sides. Raising my hands, I rest my palms on the front of his shirt, inside his leather jacket. “Are you okay?”
“No.” His response comes quickly, then he holds me, and kisses the top of my head. “Not without you, so you need to tell me how long this break is going to last, or if I need to come to terms with losing you forever.”
I lean back, the passion I always felt for him in full effect. “Can you? Can you come to those terms? Because I can’t. Not when it comes to losing you.”
“I told you once that there is no one else. You’re it for me. So if this break turns into forever, I’m not moving on like you didn’t change my life.”
Lifting up on my toes, I kiss the lips I’ve missed so much, the lips that speak words of love and forever so naturally with me. Those soft kissable lips that embrace mine, showing me that I’m his whole world. And he kisses me back telling me I am his. Forever.