Her smile faded and she dropped her gaze, her walk slowing. “I’ll miss you, Cas.”
Two steps this time; he jumped across them and pulled her against him. She always sucked in a tiny breath when he put his arms around her, and it made it impossible not to kiss her. He ducked his head and pressed his lips against hers. He let his hands slide down her back, taking in the shape of her and convincing himself for a moment that he’d never have to let her go.
He wished he’d kissed her before, when they were sleeping in his bed. He would have spent all night kissing her, tracing his fingers over her shoulders, memorizing the shape of her mouth. He’d thought he had all the time in the world then, and now he looked back with exasperation at all the moments with her that he’d squandered.
“I’ll miss you too,” he said when they broke apart. “More than you know.”
She shook her head, brushing her lips against his again. “I know.”
When she looked at him like she was now, it was impossible to think that her feelings were fake, or part of the plan. She looked at him like she never wanted him to let her go, but also like she was about to cry. Like she was desperately, irreversibly sad. He recognized it as guilt, and the worst part of him was glad she felt it. He hadn’t completely forgiven her, and she hadn’t asked him to. She must have known that was an impossible request. He wanted to forgive her, and his father—and himself, while he was at it—but the heavy weight of disappointment was stubbornly sticking to his chest. Clawing it out all at once didn’t seem to be option. Letting it slowly drip away until the hurt became bearable seemed like the more likely scenario. Every time she looked at him, he felt a little piece fall away.
He reluctantly let her go. Selfishly he wanted to ask her to stall, to spend one more night with him under the stars. But neither of them could afford to delay, so he bit back the words.
They walked in silence, occasionally intertwining their hands and holding on to each other.
Voices drifted over the trees, and they both immediately stopped and went perfectly still. Cas couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, as they were speaking softly, but they weren’t far away.
Em crept forward and he followed, letting his hand linger on her back.
A blur of gray and blue flashed through the trees. Cas’s heart leaped and then immediately sank.
Lera soldiers.
“You should go,” Em said quietly.
He swallowed the lump in his throat. She laced her fingers through his.
“You’ll be the best king Lera ever had,” she said, blinking back tears.
He tugged on her hand until her body was against his, her face in his neck. “I don’t know about that.”
“I do.”
He hugged her as tightly as he could and kissed her forehead. “When I find your sister, I will make sure she’s set free. Keep watch on the lodge, when you get there. I’ll send her out the front and straight into the trees. You can meet her there.”
“Thank you.” She gave him a shaky smile as he pulled away.
He pressed his lips to hers, for only a few moments, because he was afraid if he held on for any longer he would grab her hand and run away.
He glanced over his shoulder at her once, but that was all he could manage. He didn’t know if she stayed and watched him go, or if she left after that first look.
He ducked under a vine, and the voices abruptly stopped as his footsteps echoed through the jungle. A man with his blue-and-gray coat tied around his waist suddenly appeared from behind a tree, a sword in one hand and a dagger in the other.
Galo. Cas had to blink back tears at the sight of the friend he’d feared the worst for.
The guard’s eyes widened with shock. “Cas?” he said very quietly, still aware of their surroundings.
The other guards immediately jumped out from their hiding spots, their faces etched with disbelief.
Cas held up his hands since one of the guards still had his bow and arrow aimed at him. He quickly lowered them, a sheepish expression on his face.
“What are you—how did you—” Galo rushed forward. He appeared to be going in for a hug, then seemed to think better of it. “Are you all right, Your Majesty?”
Cas stepped forward and embraced Galo. “I thought you were dead.”
Galo looked like he might cry when Cas released him. “We feared the same, Your Majesty.”
“Please stop calling me that.”
“Sorry.” Galo surveyed him. “Are you injured?”
“My shoulder was reinjured, but I’m fine. Did my mother make it out?”
Galo gestured behind him. Cas followed his gaze to see two guards on horses, their hats pulled low over their foreheads.
One of them looked up, and Cas’s heart leaped into his throat. His mother.
She slid off her horse and ran for him, almost knocking him over as she threw her arms around him.