“Noelle…” I barely got her name out as I leaned over the sink, my forearms digging into the marble vanity. It pained me to say her name, almost like it was a sin to speak of something so pure, from such an evil mouth.
Trying aimlessly to release myself of the war I was waging inside myself, I allowed the tension of it all to fill my body, every breath reminding me of the raging inferno that boiled deep inside my heart. It was so hard to keep hold of my anger with her standing so close to me. Just being near her caused a calmness in me that I’ve never felt before. I wanted to give into that goodness, but couldn’t allow myself that indulgence.
“I’m not leaving you here, Royal, and there is nothing you say or do that will change my mind about it.” She didn’t sound weak, and the challenge in her eyes terrified me told me I would have to force her out. Hurt her, just to prove my point. A deep ache formed in my chest. It felt like someone was stabbing me with a blunt knife, twisting and turning without a care in the world to the pain that I would feel.
“Noelle,” I repeated her name again, this time with much more force, and more pain echoing from her name.
“If you want me to leave then you’re going to have to force me to leave.” I lifted my fist without warning or thought, slamming it down, trying to relieve some of the pain inside of me. Trying to push her away, to scare her, so I wouldn’t have to end this.
The thought, made me want to…
“I know you won’t hurt me, Royal. I believe in your ability to protect me. You wouldn’t hurt me.” Her voice was so warm, so convincing. She wasn’t convincing me, though, she was convincing herself. I felt her soft small hand slide up my back, my entire body tensing as her fingers splayed across my shoulder. I knew she was just trying to calm me, to reassure me, but I couldn’t handle that right now. Her touch alone was like sticking my hand into a burning flame, wanting to play with the delicate flickering light, but knowing that it would burn, the pain of it searing through my soul.
I squeezed my eyes shut, the tightness causing a blackness to cover my mind. Even if it wasn’t what I wanted to do, I had to end this. End it before I made things worse. It would be for the better for both of us, no matter what way you looked at it. I couldn’t make things better for Noelle, being the person I currently was. I was far too fucked up for someone as good as her. I just didn’t get why she was the only one that didn’t see that. Everyone she knew told her to stay away from me, Including myself. She was just so fucking keen on breaking the rules. Being a rebel.
I whirled around on her, and I could tell she wasn’t expecting it. The sound of her shallow intake of breath met my ears, followed by a squeal as I grabbed her by the wrist which told me I caught her off guard.
Why didn’t she just stay away? Why did she have to fight me tooth and nail?
“Unless you want me to fuck you like an animal, hard and rough, completely dominating every inch of that virgin body of yours, then I suggest you turn your sweet little ass around and walk the fuck out of this bathroom. If you don’t, I won’t be held responsible for what happens. I fuck hard, Noelle, can you handle that?” My grip on her was firm — it told her I meant business. Still she looked at me as if she was bored, as if she wasn’t bothered by me at all. She wasn’t scared, not even a little bit. I wanted to cackle out loud like the sick asshole I was because she should fucking be afraid. Fuck, the things I wanted to do to her body would be anything but gentle, anything but what she deserved.
“I’m not scared of you, Royal, If you need to dominate me to make yourself feel better, then do it. I can handle it. I can handle you. I know you would never intentionally harm me and you care about me.” I could see the jump in her pulse, her breaths coming in far faster than they were a moment ago. She had to be lying to me, there was no way a virgin like her could be getting excited about all the dirty things that I was saying. Right? No, it had to be fear I was sensing.
“You deserve more than this, Noelle. Don’t you get that? Don’t you get that you deserve so much more than a hard fuck. To be used just so I can get over my anger, to lose that once special piece of yourself to the monster in me.” I released her wrist like it was burning a hole in my hand. I couldn’t touch her skin without wanting so much more. Like wanting to lick a path over every inch of her.