“It’s not you, Noelle. Not at all. I promise you it’s not. You are absolutely perfect, princess. I want you now more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life, and I will have you— just not tonight.” I prayed she would just take what I said and listen to me for once.
She just stood before me completely bare and told me she was pure; untouched by even herself. She willingly handed herself to me on a golden platter, add to the fact that she thought she did something wrong or that she wasn’t good enough. My precious angel had no idea how special she was. She was that juicy red apple hanging from the tree in the Garden of Eden. It would be a sin to reach out and take a bite, but it would kill me not to.
Noelle was fucking killing me.
“Okay…” She grabbed her clothes from me, her shoulders slouched forward as more sadness and hurt consumed her like I’ve never seen before. I should have stopped her, wrapped her up in my arms and told her how perfect she was, but I couldn’t. Instead I watched with defeat as she turned around and walked right out of the bathroom and away from me, not even once turning back to look at me.
I stood in that bathroom staring at myself in the mirror— forcing myself not to cave, not to rush after her— knowing that if I did I would destroy her, and in doing so I could never live with myself if I ever did that. Even with her thinking I was rejecting her or that she wasn’t good enough was better than me losing myself in her right now. I was saving her from myself, and it was killing me.
It was then and there as I stood hating myself that another unwelcome thought smacked me right in the face.
I was starting to fall for her, even if I didn’t want to.
I was falling in love with Noelle.
I was falling in love with my stepsister.
Noelle was like that stupid red apple. She was tempting me, dangling herself right in front of me. Begging me to take just one single bite. I would sin a million times over just to get another taste of her. A hundred tastes of her.
She was my craving.
My addiction.
Chapter Twenty
-Noelle
I was stupid, so very stupid to think that we could’ve gone further than we have. I felt used, and worse than that I felt like my mother truly was right about Royal, even if he gave me a glimpse of the person he was underneath all the glamour.
He was hurting, spiraling out of control, and I wanted to be the one person to anchor him to this world. To keep him sane when everything else was falling apart around him.
The look on his face when I told him I had never come before was burned into my memory. I thought he would’ve understood that I was a virgin when I told him that he was my first real kiss. Instead, it all seemed to blow up in my face. I hated that he thought I deserved better than what he could give me. I deserved whatever I felt I deserved, and that was not Royal’s choice to make.
The walls around me were crashing to the ground, crumbling with every single breath I took. I was suffocating in the aftermath of what happened. My mother destroyed my life, ripping me to pieces, and Royal picked up those pieces helping me put the puzzle called my life back together.
As soon as I crossed the threshold into my bedroom I slammed the door and locked it. There were so many different emotions swarming me that I didn’t know which ones to reach out and hold onto. I stood in my bra and panties, staring at the items in my bedroom. The beautiful four-post white bed, the six-drawer dresser, and the numerous knick-knacks that lined the walls along with photos that I didn’t really care for. It was all a mask of fakeness that coated my entire life in a lie.
A lie that I wanted to destroy with the snap of my fingers. Royal was right about one thing. The way I was living my life wasn’t the way that I wanted to be living it.
Somewhere inside my head a switch flipped. I couldn’t end the fake scheme that my mother set fourth for others to see, but I could ruin the facade that she laid out before me. I was done being her puppet, her little doll that moved on her command. Gritting my teeth, I went over to my dresser and ripped out a pair of jeans and t-shirt slipping them on.
Then I grabbed my cell hitting Jordan’s name on the screen. The ringing tone sounded on the other end, and then she answered.
“What’s up?” she asked.
“I need out. Meet me at the falls with a bottle of Jack in ten-minutes tops. I have a sick desire to fuck shit up tonight.” I didn’t give her the chance to ask questions, nor did I let her respond even with a yes or no. I simply hung up, grabbing a bag from my closet so I could shove my shit in it.
There was no way I could stay in this fucking house with Royal and not be lying in bed next to him at night. Maybe that’s why my mom hated him so much. He was technically my stepbrother, and if I slept with him then I was messing up her perfect little picture.