“Viviana lied to me. She told me that we slept together, and with the amount of liquor I apparently had to drink and waking up undressed in bed with her with no memory, I had no real reason to doubt her. Then a few weeks later after I had told your mother what happened, she came to me telling me that she was pregnant with my baby and that was the last straw for your mom. She asked me to leave that day and after everything I put her through I couldn’t deny her request by asking to stay.” There was a pause, and I wasn’t sure what to think of what he was saying. Could I have been wrong about him all along? Was Viviana really to blame? The web of tangled lies seemed to grow tenfold.
“I didn’t know what to think about Viviana being pregnant. On one hand I was elated. Even though I lost your mother’s trust, I still vowed to try and be an active part of your life… Your mother couldn’t handle the pain, though, so she cut herself off from me. When Noelle was born I knew she wasn’t mine. I could just tell. By this time Viviana and I had already gotten married, and things were looking up. You have to understand Viv was a different person back then; she put on a good act.” My eyes locked on his as I waited for the rest of the story to be spoken.
“Noelle isn’t yours though right?” I asked without hesitation. I had to make sure she wasn’t. He shook his head, a smile lingering on his lips.
“God no. Not that I wouldn’t mind having her as a blood daughter, but she isn’t. Viviana trapped me, telling me Noelle was mine when she wasn’t. We were already married and divorcing would give her access to everything I worked hard for and accomplished over that one year of time. There was nothing else I could do but move on from what happened, putting the past behind us and moving forward.” Sadness radiated from him. I could tell that he was hurt and filled with regret by the events that had taken place.
“She tricked you! That bitch ruined my life with one single fucking lie?” I swear fire was shooting out of ears. I was so angry hearing what he said. I no longer felt anything but placid anger toward Viviana. She was a monster, and I wanted her fucking gone from our lives.
“It was my fault too for believing someone I had just met when I should have believed and trusted in myself. I didn’t trust myself, though. What she said seemed so real, so damn true. I woke up naked for god sake in bed with another woman.” I could see defeat and humiliation in those somber eyes of his. It was as if he finally realized that he failed my mother and me.
“You wouldn’t have believed anything if the bitch never targeted you. If she was never a part of your life. If she never walked through that fucking door… If she never lied, then you wouldn’t be here right?” I stood from the plush chair I was sitting in, ready to give that whore a piece of my mind. She was a homewrecker no matter which way you looked at it. She took everything from the people I loved most.
“Royal, the past is where it needs to stay, in the past. You can’t go around fighting for the past when the future is right here within your grasp. You just learn to let go and adapt to the changes that come with it. Attacking her for something that happened seventeen years ago will do no good. We can’t change the past no matter how badly any of us might want to.” Was he trying to cover this up, now that he finally told me the truth? The words were already said. There was no taking back the things that happened.
“Listen here, Mark.” I slammed my fist down on his desk, the rational part of my brain shutting down. Nothing about what I was about to say was rational.
“I listened to my mother cry almost every day for a year. I’ve watched her slip in and out of depression since before I was even old enough to know what the fucking word meant. The past is very much still a part of my life. Maybe you have been able to move on from it, but I haven’t, not when the repercussions of her lies destroyed my life.” Everything inside of me told me to go downstairs find Viviana and tell her just how I felt about her. To rip her heart out, and make her endure the pain that my mother and I had; to tarnish her perfect image. To rip away every single thing she loved in her life.
“If I could go back and change things I would, damnit would I ever, Royal.” I wanted to believe the look of guilt and sincerity in Mark’s eyes, but I couldn’t help but wonder why he was gone for so long if he knew it was all a lie from the start. Why didn’t he fight harder for my mother? Why didn’t he just come home and tell her the truth?
“What happened between you and Mom then? Did you tell her it was a lie? Why didn’t you come back for us?” I questioned, a warning to my words. Let him lie to me. Let him, because then maybe it would be easier to look at Noelle every day and not hate the part she played in ruining my life. I knew how stupid it was to hate someone for something that they had no control over but still. If it hadn’t been for her, my parents would still be married. I would still have a family and maybe I wouldn’t have been so angry all my life.
Then you wouldn’t have her. A voice echoed loudly in my head.