Still I scarfed the rest of my cereal down and placed the bowl in the kitchen sink. Before I got here, I considered this place to be a shit fucking hole, but now, now I was starting to wonder if this place was really all that bad. It seemed more like a lap of luxury, like a vacation that I never received growing up.
I marched up the stairs and toward the study stopping right before I hit the top of the landing. I could hear hushed voices down the hall.
“You need to stay away from that boy, Noelle.” A bubble of laughter filled my throat, threatening to escape. That boy. Like I was some bad habit or something.
“He’s my stepbrother, how can I stay away from him? We have almost every class together, and if we aren’t sharing classes he lives here, or have you forgotten that?” Noelle’s voice sounded broken and deflated. Was I really being that big of an asshole? If you ask me, it’s her that’s being the asshole.
“You need to stay focused on your grades, on your studies, and whomever Mark and I see fit for you to date. Do you understand me?” There was moment of silence. I was praying Noelle would say no and shove the words back at her mom with force, but instead I heard nothing. There were no further words said between them.
Was Noelle drowning in misery, just like I had been for the better part of my life? Maybe I misjudged her? Maybe she wasn’t some spoiled princess like I assumed she was? Perhaps, we were more alike than I realized.
Viviana, Noelle’s mother was the woman my father married after leaving my mother, and she was a total bitch. Thus more, it turned out she even treated her own daughter like scum of the earth.
I wasn’t going to hide from either of them anymore, so I continued my walk to the study, passing Viviana as I walked down the hall.
“Royal,” she said my name like it took her effort to do so. I wondered if there was more that she wanted to say but stopped herself.
“Bitch.” I tilted my head at her, signifying that I didn’t give a shit what her name was.
I would call her whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted.
I watched her green eyes fill with murderous rage. Her anger toward me didn’t bother me one bit. It just added to the fire that was already blazing inside of me. Plus, I knew the type of woman she was— the money hungry, I take whatever I can to better myself kind of person. She was nothing but a piece of garbage in my eyes. Why he threw a precious stone away like my mother for a dirty piece of coal, I didn’t know. My thoughts trailed off as I stopped right in front of the door to the study. Lifting my fist, I beat it against the door, my father’s deep voice ringing out.
“Come in, Royal.” He sounded pleased that I finally listened to him.
“I still don’t like you. I probably never will, so don’t try and make an effort to be something we both know you’re not.” I wasn’t smug about anything I said, just truthful, because let’s face it, it took more than money and a few visits here and there to be a dad. Anyone, could be a dad if that were the case.
I was taken aback as his laughter filled the room. What the hell was he laughing about? I wasn’t making any kind of joke. He pursed his lips, slipping on a pair of thick, stylish glasses as he pulled out a thin stack of papers.
“Ahhh. Look, son, I know I screwed up big time as a father, and I am sorry,” my father said with a look of genuine regret on his aged but still handsome face. “There are a lot of things I know we need to talk about and work through. Unfortunately, there really isn’t anything I can do to turn back the clock and change how things ended between your mother and I.” I rolled my eyes at him, getting tired of this conversation already. Mark shrugged his shoulders as if telling me it is what it is. That just annoyed me even further.
It’s like he felt no guilt or responsibility for the role he played in me being fucked up. Didn’t he realize what it felt like to be abandoned and what a toll that took on a person?
“Listen, Royal, I didn’t call you in to talk about the past; we’ll get to it sooner or later, but right now there is something else we need to discuss.” He paused, before continuing on.
“I wanted to tell you that I spoke with your mother before you came out here.”
The mere mention of my mother pierced my heart like a dagger was being shoved into it. I hurt her in so many ways, disappointed her, and made her feel guilty for things she shouldn’t. All because of the man in front of me.
Truthfully, I never meant to be the cause of any more pain or stress for her. Guilt ripped through me, seizing me in a vice of pain. The feeling was so strong I felt like it would consume me if I allowed it to.