He would make my already severely lacking social life that much more nonexistent. I couldn’t stand them here, so if I had to deal with them in the comfort of my own home then I would for sure lose my shit. That was the only safe place I had.
“That much is obvious. He’s with Sasha Master’s; it’s kind of self-explanatory when she basically throws herself at him without knowing him but a second.” The mere mention of her name off my lips made me want to commit murder. The girl was on my last nerve at every turn. I didn’t like Royal anymore then he liked me, but I didn’t want him getting caught up in the wrong crowd.
“Look at me,” Jordan ordered, forcing me to avert my attention from Royal and back to her instead. A giant smile began to form on her face, her hazel eyes glimmering with mischief. Yeah, I was positive she was up to no good.
“What Jordan?” I raised an eyebrow in questioning, not sure I wanted to hear what she had to say on the matter.
“Nothing that happens today, tomorrow, or a week from now in this place will matter in the long run. None of the people that are here right now will be a part of your life after high school... well, except me,” she added with a wink then continued on.
“Therefore, none of these people really matter, and nothing that takes place here will matter either. For instance, what you’re wearing today or how you act and talk tomorrow. None of that shit matters. Nothing from the past will be of any value; it will be nothing but a brief memory in time.” Jordan gave me this whole speech more than once. Just because you had money and the look, didn’t necessarily mean you fit in with the right crowd.
“I totally get that. I just hoped for more from him. Not to instantly fall into the wrong crowd, and slide straight into Sasha’s vagina all within one day.” I couldn’t even talk about this right now. No matter how much I tried to look anywhere else but at him, my eyes always betrayed me, slowly finding their way back to him in the mass of students.
The one single time that I didn’t try and hide my feelings, or force my stare away was of course the one time I caught him staring back at me. A moment seemed to pass between us. Unsaid words lingered, and in his eyes I could see the same anger that stirred inside of me, boiling deep inside of him.
“You thought he would be different, and he isn’t. Plus, it doesn’t help that your heart is made of gold, and we both know you don’t deserve to have to watch someone crash and burn,” Jordan finished my sentence for me. I did have a heart of gold, and I desperately wanted to see the good in Royal. I wanted it so badly that I could taste it.
I knew there was more to him than a criminal record and a bad attitude. You just had to be able to stick around long enough to get underneath all of that. He was like an onion; he had the power to make you cry as you peeled back each layer exposing something you never knew about him.
“No.” It hit me then that if I wanted to truly see the person Royal was, to really see him in his most vulnerable place, to get there I would have to stick through the hate and pain. I would have to endure his remarks, his obscene sexual gestures, and his hateful looks. I would have to break down his walls until I made certain he understood that I wasn’t just going to give up and disappear. That I wasn’t going to walk away from him. I wasn’t a quitter, and I wasn’t about to give up on him. I wasn’t his Dad or any other sorry soul on this planet.
“Oh no. I know that look; what have you thought of now?” Jordan spat the words out, along with a piece of cupcake that she started chewing on while she waited for me to get out of my own head. I looked down at it and then back up to her, pursing my lips.
She shrugged her shoulders. “Sorry, now answer me. The bell is about to ring and then I’ll have to sit in class for the rest of the day trying to figure out what you’re thinking inside that crazy head of yours.”
“I know how to get underneath his skin and break through the barriers that surround him,” I rushed out, knowing she probably wants to stop me before I even get started. I held up a finger and pleaded with my eyes for her to listen.
”He’s so used to people walking away, so used to them assuming the worst of him or not even giving him a chance to prove himself.” I paused watching as everything was clicking in Jordan’s mind.