I was within a second of lurching across this table and making him eat his words. The tension that filled my muscles begged me for some type of release. I needed to release the aggression, to suppress the anger. I had no other option. If I didn’t, people would get hurt. People I cared about.
“I didn’t have you come in here to fight with you or to try and compare us, so my apologies. I simply wanted to let you know of the plan your mother and I have come up with. We feel it will benefit everyone involved especially you. I know it was a struggle for you and your mom growing up, and I’d like to fix that now.” HA, what a fucking joke. I almost laughed. I’m almost fully fucking grown and now he suddenly wants to fucking man up and help with finances? To pretend like he cares because I was shoved on him, because my mom forced him to finally take some responsibility for the night where he fucked her and just left.
“I will provide you with a car, whatever make and model you want, a college education if you would like one, and an endless supply of money so long as you keep yourself out of trouble.” What the fuck? He couldn’t actually be real about all this bullshit that was filling the room. Let’s hear the strings that are attached because I know he’s not just going to give me all this shit for nothing. There’s always a fucking price to pay, and I’ve been the one paying for the last seventeen years.
“Go ahead. I know there’s more. You haven’t done shit for me and Mom in seventeen years, so I know damn well you aren’t you going to give me all this shit for nothing. What are the strings attached to this fancy offer? Say something that will set me off. I’ve been contemplating laying your ass out my entire life.”
Mark didn’t seem to care about what I had to say. It was as if he actually expected me to act the way that I was, as if it was just a reaction that would never change.
”Hate me all you want but the offer will always stand; no matter what you think or how you feel about me. There are no strings attached because the things that I want you to do are things that you should be doing anyway…” He raised an eyebrow up at me, getting ready to ramble off his list of bullshit.
“For instance, going to school and staying away from any illegal activities. I get that fighting is an outlet for you, but there are other ways to help with your emotions. Fighting isn’t something you can do for the rest of your life.” That was a ballsy response.
“You hope I can’t do it for the rest of my life, but the truth is I’m my own keeper and if I want to head down a destructive path then I will,” I said, correcting him. I cracked my knuckles as he rolled his eyes at my response.
“Whatever you say, son, just know I’m more than willing to build a gym here at the house or we can get you a membership somewhere so you can rid yourself of that hateful tension.” I allowed him to finish speaking because even if I didn’t want to admit it I wanted to know what else he had to say.
That and I wanted to take the entire offer and shove it back down his throat. I didn’t need shit, and I most certainly didn’t want his money. I wanted nothing from the man I knew only as a sperm donor. If he thought he could glitter me with gifts and I would listen, he was in for an enormous wake-up call.
“I can’t be bought. I can’t be told what to do. I make my own choices, Daddy… You’re going to have to do better than that because nothing you say or want from me is going to happen.” I couldn’t help my reaction to what he said and done. Comparing me to himself, and then thinking I could be bought into servitude. Fuck him and his perfectly perfect lifestyle. He might be able to buy other people, but I wasn’t one of them. Not now, not ever.
No fucking way! A ripple of rage hit me, and I kicked the chair over that was behind me, and then I raised my already battered fist to his bookcase, slamming my knuckles against the solid wood panel.
“Royal!” my father bellowed out for me, and I ignored him, walking out of his office, my fist slamming into the study door. I needed more than what he could offer me; hell I needed more a long time ago. There was no saving me from myself, and trying only made me want to squish you that much more.
I needed to call my mom and find out if she really was part of all this bullshit. Part of me didn’t believe she would side with Mark and try and buy me into listening with a bunch of expensive shit that I didn’t need. Then again, the mother I knew my entire life also wouldn’t send me hundreds of miles away to live with the loser that left both of us for this perfect life that he now had.
His voice was still calling out to me as I walked down the hall with heavy footsteps, each one landing precisely against the wooden floor. Air filled my lungs, each breath coming out in a pant. My vision blurred, and all I could see was the need for vengeance, a resonating urge to destroy everything in my path.
“Are you okay?” Noelle’s eyes were huge, and in them I could see worry. It stuck out to me more than anything else on her. I looked down to where it was she was staring. Blood dripped from my fist and onto the pristine white carpet. How didn’t I notice that before?