“I couldn’t do it,” he said. “I can’t do it.”
Mandy wept as she held his face. She checked him over, from neck to waist, then did a pass over all of him. He was whole and unharmed. What a blessed, sweet sight. “I’m glad.”
Kit palmed his phone. “I’m calling Kimble.”
“No,” Rocco said, his voice like gravel. “Not tonight. I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
“Rocco—” Kit started.
“Not tonight, Kit,” Rocco said.
“We got him tonight,” Angel said, putting a hand on Rocco’s shoulders. Angel hugged him again. “You didn’t do it. Goddamn, Rocco.”
“I couldn’t. There were too many angels in the way. I was shouting at them to leave, but they wouldn’t. Just more and more came. Didn’t you see them?” he asked, looking around at everyone.
No one said anything. Mandy bit her lip, but her choked breath still made a loud sound.
Rocco wrapped his arms around her. “I’m done, Em. I’m done.”
“What does that mean, Rocco?”
“It means I’m going to find a way to live. I’m leaving the dark behind.” He looked over at Kitano, who was watching him by the fence. “Kitano and I both are leaving the dark behind.”
Mandy lowered her head against his chest and wept. He wrapped his arms around her head. “I’m sorry. For this. For everything. Every fucking thing.”
She looked up at him. “You have nothing to apologize for. I only ever wanted you to begin healing.”
Rocco nodded, then kissed her forehead. “I’m ready to start that.” He looked into her eyes. “Will you give me another chance?”
She huffed a laugh and caught his face. “There isn’t any number of chances that I’ll give. Not one or two or a million. I am always in your corner.”
Tears slipped down his hard cheeks. He yanked her close and squeezed her. “Thank you.”
Kit came over and set his hand on Rocco’s shoulder. “Let’s head back to the house.” He leveled a hard look at Rocco. “I have your gun.”
“Good. Put it with the others in the bunker. I’ll bring over the rest of the ammo tomorrow.”
Rocco took Mandy’s hand as they started for the house. Kitano walked with them as far as he could in his pen. Rocco walked over to the fence. Kitano didn’t run away. Rocco reached up and scratched his neck then patted his withers. “Is he going to be okay?” he asked Mandy, who also reached up to stroke the horse. “I didn’t set him back, did it?”
Mandy smiled. “Look at him, Rocco. He’s not afraid of us anymore. I think you helped him break through, too.”
“I think he saved my life.”
“I’ve never seen a horse do anything like what Kitano did for you tonight. He kept us away from you, then stood over you and protected you. Let’s see how he reacts to you tomorrow. Maybe we can have you ride him soon.”
“I’d like that.”
Kit kept his hand on Rocco’s shoulder the whole way back to the house. Rocco looked around at the somber group surrounding him. The walk back to the house was sort of like a funeral procession, but in reverse. His friends weren’t walking him to his eternal rest but back to the rest of his life. They were his blood and flesh angels. He smiled, humbled by the realization that he had such friends. He lifted his arm and wrapped it around Kit’s shoulders. Kit frowned at him, but Rocco only smiled back.
“Hey, guys, thank you.”
“For what?” Angel asked.
“For coming out to watch me die.” Rocco met Angel’s eyes. “For holding my woman through all that.”
“Is it over, Rocco?” Blade asked.
“I think so. The angels made it clear that I have something still to do here.” He looked at his friends. “Did you guys really not see them?” They all shook their heads or said “no” in their deep, calm voices. He met Kelan’s eyes.
“I didn’t see them, but I felt a powerful energy with you in that field,” Kelan said. “I think Kitano felt it, too. Otherwise, how would he have known to do what he did?”
At the house, Kit stopped. The guys went inside the living room. Kit’s hand tightened on Rocco’s shoulder as he looked at Mandy. “I need a few minutes with Rocco.”
Mandy checked with Rocco, who nodded. She hugged him, then her brother, and went inside.
“Jesus Christ, Rocco. This was the worst night of my life. Worse than when we thought you were killed in Afghanistan.”
Rocco nodded. There was nothing he could say. He couldn’t undo what had just happened.
“You’re off duty until Kimble says you’re fit for work.”
“Good. I can use that time to put my family back together.”
Kit studied him. “I don’t want lip service. Don’t fuck with me. Or my sister. You took years off her life tonight.”
“I did. And I’ll spend my life giving them back to her.”
“Kimble will be here at 0800.”
Rocco nodded. “Good.”
Kit put his hands on his hips and studied Rocco. “I’ve never lost a man, Rocco.”
“You didn’t lose me.”