Rocco and Mandy: A Red Team Wedding Novella (Book #6.5)
Elaine Levine
Dedication
For everyone who’s ever wondered if angels are real…they are.
For Barry, my own angel.
A Note from the Author:
We begin Rocco and Mandy: A Red Team Wedding Novella at the point where War Bringer left off. To maximize your enjoyment of this serialized story, I highly recommend reading the series in order, starting with The Edge of Courage and including the Red Team wedding novellas, before beginning this book!
When we last visited the Red Team…
Here’s a refresher for those of you who have read the previous Red Team books (skip this and go read them if you haven’t yet!).
* SPOILERS! *
Fiona has been safely returned to the team’s compound in Wyoming.
Mandy and Ivy are pregnant.
Rocco asked Mandy to marry him, but she said no.
Rocco’s battle against PTSD has taken a bad turn.
Rocco and Mandy have hired Wynn Ratcliff as a teacher/babysitter for Zavi.
Kit asked Val to look into Ivy’s new waitress, Ace Myers, who has a mysterious background.
It’s the end of September, and the team is in their fourth month of investigation.
And now, we continue with Rocco and Mandy’s wedding novella…
Chapter One
The closer Rocco got to the room he shared with Mandy, the worse he felt. The house was quiet and dark. He forced himself to go forward, trying to push through his deepening panic. He paused when he reached the suite of rooms he shared with her and his son. Rather than going into his room, he stepped into Zavi’s room.
The little nightlight in the wall near the bed showed his boy sleeping peacefully. Rocco smoothed a lock of Zavi’s dark hair from his face, then bent down to kiss his forehead. Three books were stacked on his nightstand. Rocco had a sinking feeling Zavi had asked Mandy for story after story while they’d waited for him to make an appearance.
He left Zavi’s room and went into his. Mandy was lying on her side, well away from his half of the bed, giving him room even in her sleep. He stood still and listened to the sound of her breathing, strong and slow. The room was too dark to see the copper color of her hair where it spilled across the pillows, but he knew it by heart, would know it across lifetimes. He wanted—so much that he shook—to get into bed with her, pull her against his side, and know that he was safe and she was safe and they were solid.
But he wasn’t safe. It was as if the black, burned skin that he used to see covering his own had somehow slipped inside him to blanket his soul. But unlike the unnatural skin he once feared was visible to others, this time he knew no one could see it inside his soul. No one could tell him it wasn’t there. Even Mandy, with her infinite goodness, couldn’t help him now.
The scarred flesh was as real in him as their child was inside her.
He shut his eyes and thought about their baby. His first wife, Kadisha, had been about as far along as Mandy was now when she killed herself. Tears pooled in his eyes. Why had she done it? She had shunned Zavi by that point. Had she also hated the baby they’d made because it was of his flesh? Or had she loved it so much that she wanted to save it from the pain she was in?
It mattered, that difference. It fucking mattered. He couldn’t bear thinking that his baby was alone in heaven.
Mandy kept her breathing slow and regular as if she were really asleep. She had heard Rocco come into their room—she’d been listening for him, too upset to sleep. He’d taken off before dinner, then stayed in the gym for hours. His brutal workouts had become part of his nightly routine.
She was running out of ways to reach him. Helping him was so much harder than helping an abused animal. Not only was his mind far more complex, but her heart was tied to the outcome—she couldn’t be dispassionate about her approach.
She listened for Rocco again, wondering why he wasn’t getting into bed. After a few minutes, when she heard nothing at all, she rolled over to see what he was doing and realized he was gone. She sat up. “Rocco?” she whispered, thinking he’d just stepped into the closet or the bathroom. He didn’t answer.
She got up to look for him. Maybe he went back into Zavi’s room, but only Zavi was there, sleeping soundly on his bed.
Rocco couldn’t even bring himself to sleep with her anymore. She held her arms around her stomach and started to cry—the silent tears she’d gotten so good at crying so no one would know she wept.
*