Kit was coming over to the buffet. Whether for food or because he’d caught their whispers, she didn’t know. She turned her attention to filling her own plate, though she had no appetite now.
She would need to find a quiet minute later to explain to Rocco why his son was now calling her Mom. She quietly sat next to Zavi, wondering what she was going to say to Rocco…and when. He did everything he could to avoid her. She looked across the table to find Angel sitting there, watching her. His face was bruised, too. She looked from him to Rocco, who took a seat next to his son, though he was about a million miles away from him, too.
She’d just decided to pull Angel aside later and ask him what was going on between him and Rocco, when Kit did it for her, right then and there.
“You and Rocco got a problem?” Kit asked, looking at Angel.
“Nope.”
“Why are you fighting?”
Angel answered for the both of them. “We’re not fighting; we’re sparring.”
“Well, knock it off. I need both of you in one piece, not so banged up you can’t think.”
A muscle bunched in the corner of Angel’s jaw. “Copy that.”
Kit looked at Rocco and lifted a brow. Mandy looked at Rocco, too. “Sounds like a plan,” Rocco said without looking at anyone.
He was doing the same thing to them that he was doing to her: freezing them out. Why? Was this part of his PTSD? Did he blame them all for what was happening to him? Or was it something worse than that?
She’d seen something similar happen with horses when they knew they were dying. They separated themselves from the herd, quit eating, quit everything. Just like Rocco was doing. She checked if Kit was seeing what she did.
The blue eyes that met hers were somber.
He knew.
*
Mandy went down the hall from the kitchen as Kit came out of the den—just the person she wanted to see. He smiled and wrapped a heavy arm around her shoulders, then leaned over and kissed her temple. “How goes it, sis?”
A big sigh was her first answer. She faced him.
Instantly, the humor left his face as he read her expression. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you think it’s safe enough now for me to move back to my house?”
He took her hand and led her into the sitting area of his suite of rooms, giving them a bit more privacy. “Why do you want to do that?”
“I think Rocco needs some space. He doesn’t eat with us anymore. He doesn’t sleep with me anymore.”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
“It’s kind of hard to do when he avoids me at every turn. I thought maybe I’m somehow causing him to go deeper into his hell.” She put her hand on her stomach. “Me and the baby. Maybe I’m too much of a reminder of Kadisha. I just want to give him some room for a while.”
Kit frowned. “I don’t like it. What about Zavi? He’s come to depend on you.”
“I’ll be over every day. I can stay and put him to bed at night. But maybe if I’m out of the way, Rocco will be more willing to interact with his son. It’s like he’s abdicated that job to me and won’t talk about it.” She sighed again. “It isn’t that I mind helping with Zavi. I love him—he’s a great kid and fun to be around. It’s just that I don’t understand why Rocco has left us. I think he and I need some space to figure things out. And maybe, if he’s forced to spend more time with his son, he’ll remember what really matters. I think in helping out, I’m enabling him to be absent.”
“Zavi’s started calling you Mom.”
“I know.” Tears made her choke on her next words. “Moms leave sometimes.”
Kit pulled her close for a hug. She fisted his tee as she wept. This was a logical step for her, for Rocco; they had to figure things out pretty quickly if they hoped to move forward as a family.
“If you think this is the right thing, then yes. It’s safe enough. Ryker’s there in the bunkhouse. And I’ll send Selena to stay with you. I’ll keep an eye on Rocco for you. And Zavi.”
Mandy pulled away and nodded, then went over to the side table to grab a couple of tissues. “I’ll be over every day. He practically won’t know I’m gone.”
“Unless he has a bad dream one night and Rocco is AWOL.” Kit pressed his lips together. “Ivy and I are just downstairs. It’s not like he’ll be alone. I’ll show him how to use the house phone to call me if he gets scared.”
The thought of Zavi alone and scared at night caused Mandy to cry all over again. “I’ll tell Rocco that he has to be there, since I won’t be.”
Kit gave her an intense look. “You sure about this, sis?”
“No. I’m not sure about anything anymore.” She looked past Kit’s shoulder, then up at him again. “Except, maybe, that I don’t think I can take too much more heartbreak.”