A moment’s pause.
“If you knew that little boy....” My heart wrenched.
Asshole.
I didn’t need to explain myself to him.
My eyes slid down to the ground and I held them there. I wasn’t daring enough to look at Tama, whose eyes were boring holes into me. Those laser beams prepared to blind me with violent, volatile rage. I wasn’t strong enough to fight him or the affect he had on me, so like the coward I was, I pretended to ignore him.
After the longest eight minutes of my life, the bell sounded and we got into position. Tama stood tall, his arms crossed over his chest, and Hemi mirrored him. I stood between the two giants, pulled my sunglasses down from my forehead, and leant my shoulder against Hemi’s massive frame.
We were an alarming sight. It was almost a shame to waste such a picture on a bunch of five-year-olds.
It didn’t escape my notice that A.J. was the first to leave his classroom, head down, face solemn, rushing toward the gate we occupied.
Oh, sweetheart. What has she done to you?
I wouldn’t run to him. I wouldn’t comfort him, not until we were out of view of everyone else. I wasn’t here to play. This was serious shit.
He looked up a second, then did a double-take. He stood there a long moment, long enough for his classmates to gather and pause in their tracks as they openly stared at us. Some kids’ mouths dropped. I noticed Zoe Braemore was one of those kids.
A.J.’s eyes widened comically, and his reaction to these scary-looking dudes surrounding me was priceless.
He smiled.
The little shit.
God, I loved him. He was fearless where it counted. A warrior at heart.
Picking up pace, he started to run toward us, his school bag slapping his back harshly with every stride. When he reached us, I held out my hand to him but was rudely interrupted when Tama snatched up my ward, lifting him high, clutching him to his side. And Tama glared at him.
It wasn’t personal. Tama just hated everyone. Yet even though I knew this, my inner mum had me on the defensive. I knew Tama would never hurt a child, but when it came to this child, I would never give anyone the chance.
A.J. lost his smile and stared back at Tama. A fierce protectiveness lit inside me, even wilder than before, and just as I went to warn Tama to put him down or lose a limb, A.J. reached out with little hands and touched his tiny fingertips to Tama’s tattooed nose. He spoke and my heart ached.
“My daddy has tattoos. Lots of them. Not on his face though. When I’m older, I’m getting them too, just like him.” He pawed Tama’s face without fear, looking closely at the artwork there. “Did it hurt?”
I watched the ice melt in Tama’s eyes. The sternness on his face, however, remained unchanged. “Yeah.”
Hemi stood unmoving. Without looking at A.J., he said loudly, “Hey, A.J., know what I hate?”
A.J. twisted his torso to look back at Hemi. He shook his head. “No.”
“Bullies.” Hemi’s mouth twisted. “Hate me some bullies, bruh.”
Okay then.
It took every bit of strength I had to not laugh.
I’d planned on being discreet, but Hemi didn’t know how to spell the word, let alone depict it.
Zoe’s eyes widened as she tried to walk past. I placed my hand on her little shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. I leant down in her cute little face, brushing a gentle hand over her curled pigtails. I spoke, but it wasn’t to Zoe.
“Is this her, A.J.? Your friend Zoe?”
She looked over at Tama and her eyes wandered over to Hemi before snapping back to me.
Zoe Braemore looked ready to denounce her own name.
“That’s Zoe.” I didn’t look back at my boy, but I could hear the curl of his lip. “But we aren’t friends.”
“Can you help me, Zoe?” The little girl nodded, slowly, wide-eyed. I leant in and looked left to right before coming in close as if the favor I was about to ask was some big secret. “A.J.’s cousins here heard someone might be upsetting him.”
I looked up at Tama. He was scowling at the little shit.
“As you can see,” I went on, “when A.J. is upset, his cousins are too.” I lowered my voice. “Can you do me a favor?”
She nodded without question. Good girl.
“I want you to keep an eye on A.J. and tell me if you see anyone picking on him.” I stood tall and peeked over at Hemi before looking back to Zoe. “Hemi over there... he hates bullies. Don’t you, Hemi?”
Hemi turned his head meaningfully and nodded. He kept his gaze on the small child and I watched all the color drain out of Zoe’s face.
My shot had just found its mark.
Bull’s-eye.
And my work here was done.
I smiled widely, but it didn’t reach my eyes. It must’ve been less than comforting because Zoe took a small step back. “I knew I could count on you. Thanks, Zoe. Have a nice day, won’t you, sweetie?” As she walked away, I waved at her, while muttering under my breath, “Strike one, you little cunt.”
By quarter past three, all the children were collected by their parents and almost everyone had dispersed. Everyone but us. Once we were alone, Hemi’s stance slackened and he went to stand in front of Tama who hadn’t released his hold on A.J.
Hemi’s chubby hand came out and A.J. met him halfway. They shook hands and Hemi introduced himself. “Name’s Hemi, little bruh.” He jerked his chin to the sullen man holding him. “That’s Tama.”
A.J.’s face turned thoughtful. And what he said next killed me.
“Molly knew a man called Tama.”
Inside my head, a slow, drawn-out appeal. “No, A.J. Nooo.”
“Said he was scary. The scariest.” A.J. looked to Hemi. “She loved him.” He looked over at me. “Didn’t you, Molly?” Then he turned to face Tama, his expression gloomy. “But he died. And that made Molly sad.”
Bile rose up in my throat, a solid burning in my chest.
A.J., not knowing what he’d just done, reached for me. Numb to the core, I took him into my arms without question. He rested his cheek on my shoulder and hugged me around the neck too tightly. “I don’t like when Molly’s sad.”
Hemi looked from me to Tama, then back again and, thankfully, completely out of character, did not say what was on his mind before making his way back to the Hummer.
Tama, on the other hand, held his jaw tight. He didn’t take his eyes off me. I hoped he saw the apology I held in mine.
I was certain he did because after a long pause, Tama spoke. His voice was deceptively calm. “You love Miss Molly, hey?”
A.J. nodded at my shoulder.
Tama trained his eyes on me. He spoke without emotion, “Kid’s a terrible judge of character.”
My voice quiet, I agreed, “I know.”
Because he was right. I didn’t deserve what A.J. gave me. I didn’t deserve what Lexi trusted me with.
I was an awful person and, one day, I’d get mine.
Chapter Nine
Twitch
When she walked into my house, Manda looked tired. “We need to talk.”
Yeah. It had been brewing too long. We needed to hash this shit out. It was already awkward as fuck. I didn’t need it playing on my mind.
She came to sit on the small sofa, and I followed her into the room, leaning against the wall as she began. “I heard things about you. Bad things. And I chose to find out for myself, to see who you were before I judged. So, brother mine,” she said, “who exactly are you?”
That was a tough question.
I didn’t really know anymore.
I clicked my tongue and gently massaged my temple. “Mandy, please. Give me a break. It’s been a shitty couple of days. Besides, we’ve been through this.” I looked at her pointedly. “You think Vander’s a fucking saint?”