Fuck. Just fuck.
I try to keep it together. My gut instinct is to accuse her of following me, but I want that. I want her to want me all to herself. I need Ellie to feel as compelled to know everything about me as I am to know everything about her.
"Gretel saw you," she offers, her chin high, her eyes focused on mine. "Adley and I were picking up dinner at a deli and Gretel was there getting snacks for Leila. She said you and Shelby were at Normand's Pub having a drink."
"Shelby had lemon water. I had a scotch, a double."
She stares at me for a minute, her eyes darting from my face to the mug of tea. "I don’t care what either of you ordered. I care that you were there with her."
Somewhere inside of me I feel elation at knowing that. I feel hope seeing the pained expression on her face. It matters to her that I was with Shelby. What matters to me is that she understands why.
"I went out for a drink with Crew after May fell asleep."
"Gretel didn't mention seeing Crew and I'm pretty sure she would have if he were there." She shrugs. "She was specific when she said that she saw you and Shelby talking."
"Shelby showed up and Crew moved to another table so we could talk." I'm not going to try and hide what's going on. My intention after I spoke to Shelby last night was to talk to Ellie. I want her to know what Shelby said to me. I want her to understand before Shelby follows through on her threat to sell her story to the most popular gossip site on the internet. I told her to do it. I have no idea if she was serious but I want Ellie to hear Shelby's fucked up accusations from me, not read about them online.
"Talk about what, Nolan?" She asks incredulously, her hands shakily reaching for the mug.
I lean forward to stop her hands in place. I cover them with mine. I can't risk her burning herself, or me, when she hears what I'm about to say. "Shelby is pregnant, Ellie. She says the baby is mine."
Chapter 38
Ellie
This was not how this conversation went in any of the dozen scenarios I played over in my head since last night. Not once would I have guessed that they were sitting on that patio talking about a baby. He's going to have another child. This time with a supermodel who moonlights as a petty thief. Good for him. I don't want any part of this.
"I'm leaving." I try to stand, but his grip on my hands is too tight.
"You're going to sit here and let me explain, Ellie."
I've been waiting all day to talk to him. I went up to his office right after lunch to see if he was available, but Eda told me he'd left for the day. I was tempted to call him, but I wanted to respect his time with his daughter. Maybe he wasn't even with her. He was probably with Shelby picking the furniture for a new nursery.
"I don't need an explanation, Nolan." I move to the edge of the chair and tug my hands away from his. "What you had with Shelby was before we met. I understand that. I'm not leaving because I'm mad that she's pregnant. I'm leaving because you obviously have a lot on your plate that you need to deal with."
He pulls back, his right hand scrubs his forehead. "I don't blame you for wanting to bolt, but I'd like a chance to explain things. I want you to understand something very important."
I already know what the next words out of his mouth are going to be.
The new baby won't change anything between us.
I can handle a relationship with you and a co-parent arrangement with Shelby.
Let's meet at the shoebox tomorrow night at nine and celebrate that I'm going to be a dad again with a few hours of fucking.
I might be wrong about the last one but I know I'm right about the first two.
"I don't give a fuck if Shelby is pregnant." He squeezes his eyes shut for a second. "Don't get me wrong. I'm not a cruel bastard. I hope the best for her but that baby has nothing to do with me. There is no chance in hell I'm the father. No possible chance, Ellie."
Isn't that the tune every man sings when he's caught by the balls, literally, caught by the balls? "How can you know for sure you're not the father? When we were in Vegas, I heard you admit to sleeping with her twice. You know from experience it takes one time, just one time."
"It's not physically possible for me to be the father of that child." He looks around the café. "Do you understand what I'm saying, Ellie?"
"You're saying that you don’t think the condom failed." I sigh heavily. Is he that dense? He's gone through this before. If any man should be aware of the slim chance that a condom can fail to deliver on its promise, it's Nolan Black. "You need to rethink the brand of condoms you're using or maybe you need a lesson on how to roll one on the right way."
I roll my fingers in the air for good measure.
"I'm perfectly capable of putting on a condom."
"Apparently you're not." I straighten my shoulders. "Condoms aren't foolproof, Nolan. Neither is the pill."
"Vasectomies are. I've had one, so there is zero chance the baby that Shelby is carrying is mine."