No, but I need to catch my breath.
"I don't know how long it will take, Nolan." I lower my voice, trying to keep our conversation between only us. "I was planning on going to sleep early. We can see each other another night."
For a moment, he doesn't move or say a thing. "Last night was incredible, Ellie. If I made you uncomfortable when I brought up you meeting my daughter, I apologize. I want it, though. It's something I'd like to see happen."
I'd forgotten about that part of the night until now. He wants me to meet her. I want to make sure it's the right thing to do. I can't tell if this mutual attraction and infatuation between us will last. I don't want to get attached to his daughter only to have to walk away when we end. "I'm still thinking about it."
"No pressure," he says as his gaze travels over my head. "I hope your meeting with Nick's brother goes well. I'll hang out with May tonight."
I nod. "I'll look forward to seeing the artwork on your hands tomorrow."
"I want to kiss you, but I won't." He stares into my eyes. "I'll save it for the next time we're alone together. Until then, Ellie."
"Until then," I whisper with a nod of my chin. Until then, I'll wonder if this is too good to be true because it feels like the best thing that's ever happened to me.
***
"I'm sorry, Ellie." Adley pulls on the corner of a package of frozen carrots. "I know how much you want to work for the NYPD. You'd make a great detective."
I smile at the compliment. Adley's always been my biggest cheerleader, although she's never understood why I want to be a police officer. I stopped trying to explain it to her years ago. "We could just grab something at the all-night deli, Ad. You don't have to cook dinner."
That's code for please don't cook dinner tonight.
Sebastian Wolf suggested we grab a bite to eat, but I declined. I don't think it was an offer for a date, although I'm not the best at reading a man's interest. Sebastian is handsome in an entirely different way than Liam is. He looked every bit the part of a homicide detective, complete with suit, tie and a dark shadow of late day scruff over his jaw.
When he told me that he could help me get an administrative job within the department, I thanked him. He reiterated what I was told when I was turned down by the NYPD the last time I applied for the program. If I didn't make the cut the first time, I need to try again. I will. I just need to decide when.
"You're sure about dinner?" She slams the freezer door shut. "This is my only night off this week and to tell you the truth I wasn't really in the mood for whipping up a gourmet meal."
She may be delusional, but I like her confidence in her cooking skills. Besides, I'm currently the only one eating the food she prepares, and I haven't gotten sick, yet.
"I'm positive, and it's my treat."
I hold up my hand to ward off the argument I know she's about to launch into. Adley's had my back for years. She helped me when I didn't have two dimes to rub together. I made sure to keep track of how much money she loaned me so when I was finally in a position to pay it back, I did. That was just a few months ago and when she got the courier package with the check made out to her inside of a handwritten thank you note from me, she was in tears.
I love Adley and I know that she didn't expect any of that money back, but I needed to give it back. It was one of the easiest decisions I've ever made.
"I already know what I'm getting." She slips her feet into her low heels. "They have this meatloaf sandwich that I could eat every single day for the rest of my life."
I look down at the floor, to shield my smile. Meatloaf was the first meal we ate together. That feels like a lifetime ago. "A meatloaf sandwich for you and macaroni and cheese for me."
"You'll share with me. Won't you, Bean?"
I will. I always have. We've shared almost everything since the day Adley's family took me in and made me feel like I finally had a home.
Chapter 36
Ellie
"Are you going to eat all of that?" Gretel points at the food in my hands.
I admit it looks like a lot for one person. I'm holding a meatloaf sandwich and a bag of potato chips for Adley. I also grabbed a medium size container of macaroni and cheese for dinner and a bagel for my breakfast. I must look like someone who hasn't eaten in months.
"My friend and I are sharing it." I look beyond her shoulder to where Adley is standing near a display for a new flavor of coffee creamer. "How are you, Gretel?"
I'm not asking because I care. I don't care how she is. I thought if I ever saw her again it would be inside Matiz. I never imagined that I'd run into her and her daughter at a deli at ten o'clock at night.
"Hi, Ellie," Leila says brightly. "Your hair looks pretty again today."