Seeing her curled up in bed so peaceful, all I wanted was to forget about the mess we were all in and lay down beside her, pull her body against mine, and close the world out for as long as possible. I’ve never wanted a woman so much. There’s something about Liliya that calls to me, mind, body, and soul. Is it love? I don’t know. I’ve never been in love with anyone, never had the need for more than one night. A quick fuck has always been enough, but something tells me that one time with Liliya would never be enough. Men of the Bratva kneel to no one, but she makes me want to kneel before her, just as she did for me at the club.
I shake myself from my imaginings and look at her. She’s looking at me, her head tilted slightly to the side, as if trying to figure me out. I’m usually pretty good at keeping my emotions in check, but this new situation has me reeling with concern and excitement, with undercurrents of lust and longing always lurking just beneath the surface. If she agrees to this plan, I would have her always. And I don’t think that would be a bad thing.
“There might be a way out of the marriage contract between your father and Dane,” I said. “It’s risky. Abram suggested an old-school method for dealing with our problem, and I’m all for it if you are… but like I said, there is a great risk for both of us.”
“Okay. What is it?” Liliya sat up and grabbed my hand, obviously reading the tension coursing through me.
“I know we don’t know each other well, and for that reason alone, this might not be something you wish to do. I would have to challenge Dane to a winner-takes-all fight. Two men enter but only one walks away. You, Liliya, would be the prize.”
“So it’s a fight to the death over me? That’s crazy.” The irritation in her voice revealed her opinion about being treated like a trophy. “There isn’t another way?”
“I don’t think so. There’s more. You can’t just be with the winner. You have to marry him, no matter who it is, and it’s just as binding as the original marriage contract with Dane.”
“I… I can’t ask you to do that. I won’t ask you to do that for me.”
“I’m willing to do it. Give it some thought. You don’t need to decide right away. But soon, you’ll have to make a choice.”
“Ruslan, I can’t marry him. I just can’t… but I don’t want to force you into a marriage, either. It just isn’t fair to you.”
“Like I said, I’m willing to do it. I’d treat you right. I promise you that.”
She sighed, frustration warring with defiance on her face. “Okay,’ she huffed. “If it’s the only way, then that’s what we’ll do. But if there is the chance that another way exists we should try to find one. But at least I do have a choice in this however small it might be.”
Even though her lips arched up into the most beautiful smile, I still saw that little sliver of doubt. My chest constricted, as though crushed in a metal vice, forcing all the air from my lungs. This woman left me breathless. I’d say her worry didn’t bother me, but it did. Emotional attachment wasn’t, and never had been, my thing. But from the moment I saw her, she slid beneath my skin, burrowing deeper and deeper. There was no way to explain the feelings inside me. It was all so foreign, this need to protect her. Even more so was the need to have her, to consume her. Hurting her was the last thing I wanted. But men like me rarely did anything but hurt others. It was all part of the job. Part of this life. Unavoidable.
Regardless of the icy exterior, I want everyone to see when they look at me that I’m not an unfeeling jackass. I feel things, just not very often. Liliya makes me feel things. Why she does is still a question I cannot answer. But seeing the worry in her eyes as the words we just spoke finally settle in cuts me deep. Unable to resist, I pull her into my arms, her warm breath sweeps across my neck, her body fitting against mine like a missing puzzle piece. The sweet scent of vanilla fills my senses as I kiss the crown of her head.
“You have a choice in this, Liliya. If you really don’t want this, we’ll find another way. Dane and your father may prefer forcing your hand, but I’m not that kind of man.”
Her hands fist into my shirt and I hope that she can’t feel my heart thumping its excited beat against my ribs. A chill races down my spine as she slowly pulls away from me, tilting her head up to gaze at me. Her eyes are a thing of pure beauty, the deep rich color like a shot of expensive whiskey, so seductive that merely being caught in her gaze is intoxicating.
Her soft lips ghost over mine before I even catch her movement. And just like that, she has me hook, line, and sinker. My hands slide up her arms slowly, teasingly. She trembles under my touch as my fingers dive into her long blonde hair. She whimpers as I break the kiss and tug her head back. “It will always be your choice, LyubImaya moyA. My Sweetheart. I will never force you.”
A sweet little moan escapes her lips and I know she understands that it is not only protection that I promise, but so much more.
Chapter Thirteen - Liliya
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.”
- Judy Garland