“Yeah, but she feels like a burden to you. I’m your only chance at getting her back.”
His lips tense, but he makes the call.
I just hope I’m enough to bring her back.
Chapter 45
CHASE
“I can’t disclose any of my patient’s information,” Dr. Stein announces for the third time.
“And I don’t expect you to,” I say yet again. “I know all of Mika’s case details from Hunter and this.” I hold up the book I’ve read three times, and toss it down. Dr. Stein was able to work me in quickly, which Hunter said is a good sign, considering she isn’t taking on new patients.
“If you’re serious about doing this, it’s going to require a major lifestyle change,” Dr. Stein informs me as I look around at the plain, sterile room she calls an office. The couch I’m on is surprisingly comfortable, but it’s so white that it’s actually blinding.
I’ve never been to New York. I’ve sure as hell never been in a shrink’s office before.
“I’m serious about it,” I tell her, still looking around. Finally, my eyes come back to her. “And I’ve heard that numerous times, so I’m aware.”
She’s not as old as I anticipated, but she’s just as polished and professional as I imagined. Her hair is even in a pristine bun. She eyes the book before looking back at me.
“According to that book, the patient it refers to can handle seeing and hearing numbers after completion. Such as, she can know the total of something, as long as it’s definitely not going to change. She can name an amount of days or weeks that have passed. Her issue with numbers and time lies within the future (projected) numbers and future times.”
“I’m aware,” I state quietly.
“Fifteen minutes is another that patient can hear—she notes it as her driving restriction. She can’t be behind the wheel longer than that, but it doesn’t handicap her ability to be a passenger. There are no restrictions as long as you don’t list destination times. The number three is a constant ground rule. Never pass three. Four is dangerous.”
I nod, waiting on her to quit reciting the book I’ve read over and over.
“Can I be frank with you, Mr. James?” she asks while leaning forward.
I just stare, waiting on her to tell me I’m not meant for Mika or something. I’ve prepared for any and all objections.
“This thing between you and your girlfriend… Honestly, I don’t know if it’s something to hope to feel myself one day, or if it’s unhealthy to still feel this strongly after such a brief reunion.”
My lips twitch. “Just tell me how to make it work. I’ll worry about the rest.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” she tells me with a sigh, then lifts the book I brought in. “My biggest issue with the care given to the patient in this book isn’t the brutal, intense therapy that dangerously pushed the woman to her breaking point over and over. It’s the fact the therapy centered around detaching the patient from all emotions. While overwhelming emotions are dangerous for this patient, it goes against everything we stand for to condition someone to cut off anything that makes them feel anything at all.”
I nod, trying not to clench my jaw too tightly. That book was the most nauseating thing I’ve ever read. Mika had to have felt so alone, just like she’s probably feeling right now.
“I’m aware,” I finally say. “But she feels something when I’m with her. Whether she wants to or not.”
“I know. Trust me, I know. You’re either going to save her or destroy her. Remember that.”
“We’ll save each other,” I tell her, watching her eyes widen fractionally before a subtle smile graces her lips. “I just need your help to be what she needs.”
She’s nothing like I expected, and I can tell she actually cares about Mika.
“Very well.”
She pulls out a list and hands it to me, as though she was prepared for this.
“Let’s pretend I drew this up for you after you disclosed all the pertinent information concerning your girlfriend’s case.”
I restrain a smile, accepting the list from her. “Any time you do one of the forbidden, you need to mark it,” she goes on.
I look down at the list that actually has boxes for checkmarks out beside it. It’s two pages stapled together, and each page is full.
“Take this homework seriously. If you can’t remember to mark the boxes when you slip up, you won’t be able to handle someone who needs this structure for a healthy life.”
“I’ll take it seriously,” I assure her.
“I have extra copies for you in the folder I’ve assembled. Also, call me twice a week to let me know how this is going.”
“No problem.”
“Go ahead and mark a box beside ‘never commit to a number for any reason’ and one for ‘never set a schedule’ as well.”
Sighing, I immediately check off the boxes, realizing this isn’t going to be quite as easy as I initially thought. I’m already failing a test that I just started.
“It’s all about the wording, Mr. James,” she continues, watching me with a guarded expression. “A mind like your girlfriend’s demands the right wording.”