I felt my eyes glaze over as I tried to maintain eye contact. Every word out of her beautiful mouth was like a nail across a chalkboard, making my blood run cold. And my visceral reaction surprised me.
I knew I should be happy for her. She’d lost him because of me, and we were only friends now. What right did I have to think the thoughts that ran through my head—that *’s hand across her cheek as he kissed her, his words making her smile? I wanted her to smile at what I said.
“Enough about me, though. What news did you have? You seemed so excited when you texted.”
“Uh . . . yeah, I do have news.” I bit my lip to keep from saying what I’d gone there to tell her, though I wasn’t entirely sure why. Maybe I didn’t want my moment to be tainted by the sound of that douchebag’s name as it hung in the air between us. Or maybe I just didn’t think she’d give a shit about what I had to say. But most of all, I think I just didn’t give a shit about it myself anymore. “My dad got a new fishing pole the other day,” I said.
“That’s the big news?” she replied. “You’re becoming more like him every day. Should I alert the authorities?”
I savored the sound of the subtle laugh that escaped her and focused on the smile that played on the corners of her mouth. It was the best thing I’d seen all day. Because I had been the one to put it there.
***
Despite the fact that I managed to fake my way through enjoying the rest of our lunch, inside I felt like something was missing. Like the part of herself Lily had been sharing with me for the past few months would now be suddenly shared with him. I didn’t even know what part that was. I just knew I didn’t want that asshole to have any of her.
But I could never tell her that.
So I told her I was happy for her. Happy for him even. And happy for the two of them. Together. God, those words tasted bitter as I said them.
So by the next day, I was in desperate need of a night out with the boys. I wanted something to wash the thoughts of Lily and Adam from my cluttered brain. And what better way to do that than with alcohol?
Chapter 18: Lily
My relationship with Adam had been progressing . . . slowly. Up until about two weeks ago, that was. It was as if Adam had experienced some kind of epiphany over Thanksgiving that had prompted him to kick our relationship up a notch. He had begun to call me every night, made an effort to see me as often as possible, and the sexual tension between us was palpable.
I looked in the mirror as I applied my makeup, gearing up for a hopefully hot date with Adam. We were going to a new steakhouse that had just opened near us. The place was trendy, and I wanted to make sure I looked the part. Drawing back from the mirror slightly, I took in my deep blue wool dress that hugged my toned body. I paired it with a pair of patterned black tights that added a touch of naughtiness. Topped off with four inch black stilettos, even I had to admit that I looked smoking hot. Putting the cap back on my lip gloss and giving my lips one last pop in the mirror, I walked out of my room and into the living room to wait for Adam.
I looked around the apartment and took inventory of what was missing. As Amanda spent more time at Shane’s, she had been slowly removing items from our house and taking them to his. I was bracing myself for the conversation where she told me she was moving out and tried to take half of my stuff with her when she went. We had already gotten into it earlier in the week because I noticed her walking out with our blender. That I’d bought.
“But I need it,” she had whined.
“Tough shit. And Shane’s a friggin’ nutritionist. There’s no way he doesn’t have a blender.”
“His makes my smoothies taste weird,” she continued as she clutched the blender like I was trying to steal her firstborn.
“It does not, you blasphemous liar. Now put it back.”
“Is 'blasphemous' a real word?”
I looked at her with irritation, partly because she dared to question my vocabulary and partly because she was a conniving thief.
“He always puts gross things in his blender. Like kale. Who the fuck drinks kale? I can’t share a blender with him. All of the healthy stuff will seep in.”
I just continued to stare at her, making it clear that I wasn’t going to back down.
“Fine,” she huffed as she turned to return my property to its rightful place. “You need to get some,” she muttered.
“What was that?” I asked with an edge to my voice that I didn't really feel.
“Bitch, you heard me.”
I let loose a deep laugh, shaking my head at the craziness that was Amanda.
I started keeping a mental inventory of my shit after that. But as I glanced around at the empty spaces scattered throughout our living room, I couldn’t help but let a little sadness creep in. I was going to miss that crazy bitch.
Just then, the buzzer rang. I walked over to the intercom and held down the button. “Hello?”
“Hey, Lily. It’s me.”
I could hear the smile in his voice. It made me melt a little. “Me who?”