“I should have never stayed, Liv. Your first night at Will’s should have been my last. This was a mistake.”
The words fell cold between us. I forced myself to believe it. If I hadn’t stayed and become so entangled with her, I could have saved us both the pain we were feeling now.
She shook her head against me. “Don’t say that.”
I lifted her chin and touched my lips gently to hers. She brought her arms around my neck and kissed me hard. I fell into it, returning her passion with all of mine. I was obsessed with her taste, the way she seemed to live inside me when we were this close. She moaned, and I almost lost all control. But I couldn’t.
I broke away and gazed into her eyes. Pain lingered, but love and desire washed across her beautiful features.
“I love you, Liv.” My fingers slipped away. “But I have to go.”
She wasn’t mine anymore.
OLIVIA
I knocked before entering Maya’s and Cameron’s upstairs apartment. I found Maya and Vanessa in the living room sitting beside each other on the couch. Aidan was nestled against Maya’s chest.
Vanessa brightened when I joined them. “Hey, lady. I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“Yeah, I’ve been staying with Will. He’s in the penthouse above the new gym. I’m probably going to be there full time in another week or two.”
“Wow, that’s great. I’m jealous.”
I laughed lightly. She wouldn’t be jealous if she knew what a mess my life was right now. I dropped onto the adjacent couch, my limbs heavy with grief. I was perpetually exhausted, likely from the hormones that were taking over my body. But no doubt too from endlessly wondering how I could have done things differently.
Ian had given up on us, and it weighed on me like nothing ever had. I called him every day, sometimes more than once. I left voice mails and sent texts, but his silence was crushing. Nothing felt right.
I wasn’t alone, but my heart had broken on the fault line between the love I had for Will and Ian. I didn’t feel whole. And until he changed his mind, I worried that nothing would ever be the same for me.
“You want to hold him?” Maya passed the baby into Vanessa’s eager arms before standing. “Now that you’re both here, I’m going to take a quick shower if you don’t mind.”
Maya left us, and Vanessa cooed and clucked at the baby, seemingly as enamored with him as I had been. “Can you believe how fast our family is growing?”
In another year, our family would be even bigger. Little did she know…
“It’s hard to believe,” I said. “A couple years ago, I would have never imagined Cameron being a dad, but now I can’t imagine it any other way. He’s a natural.”
“Darren’s so ready.”
The Darren I’d once known had seemed about as interested in parenthood as he had been in marriage. Then everything changed. He was nearly unrecognizable now. Some people really could change. Then I thought about Ian, and my heart broke a little more.
“I know he’ll be a great dad when the time comes.” I rose and sat beside her to admire the baby too.
Vanessa took the hint and passed him to me. My heart did a little happy dance having him in my arms again.
She leaned back with a sigh. “We won’t have to wait too much longer to find out.”
I turned and caught the glimmer of excitement in her green-eyed gaze. She lifted her shoulders slightly.
“We’re expecting,” she whispered with a smile.
“You’re kidding me.”
She shook her head. “I just found out this week. I was trying to wait, but of course Darren wasn’t. We weren’t being super careful about not getting pregnant, so I guess that meant it was time.”
“Does Maya know?”
“I haven’t told her. I don’t want to distract her right now. She’s got another nine months to be excited for me.”
“That’s so amazing.” I stared back down into Aidan’s perfect little face with a smile. “You’re going to have some good company soon, little man.”
The quick succession of sucks on his pacifier seemed acknowledgement enough. I couldn’t help the happiness I felt for Vanessa and my brother. This was incredible news.
Vanessa’s reasons for not sharing her news right now made sense. But when would I find the courage to tell my family? Then I remembered that I’d made a vow not so long ago. No hiding, no regrets.
Maybe Vanessa would be a good person to hear it first.
“This is probably going to sound crazy, but I am too.”
Her hand went to her mouth. “Oh my God, you’re pregnant?”
I nodded with a tentative smile. “I guess we weren’t being too careful either. I just found out.”
Then her lips moved, but no words came, and somehow I knew what she was trying to ask.
“It’s Will’s.”
“Oh.” She blinked a few times and clipped her bottom lip between her teeth. “How’s Ian taking it?”
I sighed as a new wave of sadness settled over me like a dark cloud. “Not very well. He left. I haven’t heard from him since.”